09/03/2026
Birth Workers,
If you're working with 2 individuals, you're working with group dynamics!
Yes, a couple is a group.
Your job isn't to get them to agree. Your job is to help them discover where they agree, where they don't, and what they want to do about those differences.
Being “on the same page” doesn't mean they have to want the same thing. It means they understand each other's perspectives and have consciously decided how they want to move forward together.
☑️ One wants an unmedicated birth; the other is already thinking, “If you’re suffering, I want you to get an epidural.”
☑️ One wants the partner to be deeply involved; the other expects the doula to be the primary support person.
☑️ One wants the partner to speak up to the medical team; the other wants to be the only person communicating with providers.
☑️ One sees the doula as someone who will “tell us what to do”; the other expects the doula to help them make their own decisions.
☑️ One imagines a calm, quiet birth with minimal people in the room; the other wants their mother, siblings, and friends there.
They may not have talked about their shared postpartum plan.
☑️One is excited about breastfeeding; the other assumes they’ll use formula or combination feeding. One partner is anxious and wants lots of information; the other gets more anxious when they hear too much.
You're invited to add examples from your practice in the comments 👇