Center for Creative Self-Compassion

09/02/2026

Uncertainty can seem like a problem to solve.

That's what most of us were taught ~ so we spin out, research, replay, demand answers from ourselves that we don't have.

But every moment has things we can know and things we can't know. And not being able to find answers for all of your questions doesn't mean there's something wrong with you ~ it means you're alive.

Swipe through for some ways to find steadiness without needing to have everything figured out.

Comment HEART if you would like a simple guide for the mini art journaling practice🤍

08/31/2026

When I left my corporate job 20 years ago, I thought I had high self-esteem. Turns out, I just had external proof that I was doing okay ~ and as soon as that disappeared, so did my sense of self-worth.

Maybe for you it's not a job title. Maybe it's being the one everyone comes to, or your kids' success, or how much you accomplished this week. Whatever it is ~ if your sense of being okay depends on those things staying in place, you're building on sand.

High self-esteem doesn't predict well-being. Stable self-esteem does. And stable self-esteem isn't built on what you accomplish ~ it's built on your values, and how you relate to yourself no matter what's going on.

Grounding yourself in your values is one of the most compassionate things you can do.

08/28/2026

During intense times, we are often reactive state and just try to go at the fastest pace possible. I was thinking about this recently and remembered a time when I was on the verge of a major transition, and the way I figured out how to go at my own pace.

This happened when I was a trainee therapist. Traineeships typically last three semesters, and I was about to begin my last one. My counseling center had a goodbye circle at the start of the semester to welcome new trainees and to begin saying goodbye to "seniors" who would be moving on.

As I sat in the circle and each last-semester person shared one by one, I felt an increasing tightness in my arms. I knew I had to say goodbye, but I had no idea what to say.

On top of that tension, I also felt confused. It's usually not hard for me to find words. I was an English major in college, I worked as an editor for 12 years ~ words are usually there when I need them. But that day, they weren't.

Finally, everyone else had spoken and it was my turn.

And I said, "I've been sitting here trying to find the words, and I don't know what to say."

Therapists are notoriously good at tolerating silence and because I was in a yurt full of therapists, there was a lot of space to just be.

We stayed quiet for a while, and then the words came out: "I guess the truest thing I can say is that I'm not ready to say goodbye."

After a few moments, the director said, "Well, you don't have to say goodbye. You can stay another semester."

Once I heard those words and had that permission, I understood: I simply was not ready to go. I was so used to pushing myself to do things at an “advanced” pace. It was healing to realize that I could go slower and not be judged or feel ashamed. I could be “late” and “behind schedule.”

So, I said, "Well, then I guess I'm staying."

It was so simple and such a relief. Instead of pretending I was ready, I could go at my own pace.

Maybe you can, too ❤️
... ... .. . 🐌

08/27/2026

I shared a video recently about how self-compassion helped me avoid a fight with my husband. And I was thinking about how some of it might not make sense.

Because I teach and practice self-compassion through art journaling, I sometimes get the question: “Am I supposed to run to my art journal in the middle of a difficult situation?”

And that's not exactly how it works. It can ~ sometimes it is really helpful to work something out in your art journal.

Art journaling is more like going to the gym ~ or even having a home gym (because you don't have to leave your home to use it).

You don't lift weights in a moment when you need to be strong. You train regularly to build and maintain strength, so that those you're strong when you need to be.

Art journaling works in much the same way.

When you practice it regularly, you're more ready to be centered in self-compassion so you can make those small, everyday choices that lead to more harmony in your relationships, more confidence in yourself, and more calm during chaotic times. You build a kind of muscle memory.

So you can think of art journaling as being practical the way a home gym is practical ❤️

08/26/2026

In a workshop last month, a student said something that brought tears to my eyes. After we finished a practice where we painted over what we wrote, she told me that when she was a kid, her mom would read her journal, and that stopped her from having a journal again.

I could feel the awfulness of this because it wasn't just about journaling. It was about trust. She was a child freely expressing herself, creating a kind of sanctuary for her heart, and he mother invaded it. Someone she depended on didn't respect her need for freedom and space, and that stayed with her for decades.

She told me that the practice we did gave her hope that she could make journaling hers again. That moved me truly.

I said something along the lines of "You get to reclaim it. You get to do whatever you wanna do. You get to express yourself in a way that is your own. You wrote it for yourself, not for anyone else. You can paint over it. You can do what you want. It's a hundred percent yours. You're allowed to have a space that's just for you."

And I meant all of that. I felt like I was talking to the eight-year-old who had never heard, "You're allowed to have your own thoughts. You're allowed to have a space that's just yours."

So if you're like this student and know what it's like to have someone break your trust like this, I am sorry. That was wrong. You deserve privacy. You get to reclaim that space, no matter how many decades have gone by.

Your thoughts, your feelings, your creativity, they belong to you. And you deserve to have an inner friendship with yourself that is no one else's business.

08/25/2026

A few weeks ago, after a long workday, my husband asked me to make a quick call before we left for dinner.

It was a small request, but I was tired and needed a few minutes to decompress.

In the past, I probably would have just said yes, made the call, and then felt resentful afterward. That resentment might have eventually turned into conflict.

Instead, I paused and noticed what I actually needed.

I asked, “Could you please call? I need to unplug for 10 minutes before we go out.”

He said sure, and that was it.

It was such a small moment, but I could feel that I had a choice. I could repeat an old pattern, or I could be honest about what I needed.

Self-compassion happens in these micro moments where you pause, notice how you feel, and make a decision to be real with yourself about what you need. Trusting that you don't have to always say yes.

That small act of self-compassion stops autopilot reactions that we often later regret, and instead make the choices that create more harmony in our relationships.

08/17/2026

This came up in a class I was teaching today, and I thought it might help you too.

We were talking about the inner critic and how so often the advice is "just be kinder to yourself" ~ which sounds great in theory but feels impossible when you're in the middle of beating yourself up.

Instead of attempting the impossible, and then feeling worse because you can't do it, here's what I offered instead: try a "maybe" statement or a "what if" question.

The inner critic is black and white. It *knows* you messed up. It *knows* what's wrong with you. It claims to be certain ~ and that certainty is what makes it so hard for kindness to have any effect on quieting the self-judgment.

But your inner critic doesn't actually know. So when it says "you're broken," you say: "Maybe I'm not." Or: "What if that's not true?"

Instead of forcing kindness, you're introducing uncertainty and curiosity, and that creates space and a sense of possibility.

Try it. Let me know how it goes.

08/15/2026

When I left my corporate job 20 years ago, I was excited to be moving in a non-corporate direction. I really hated the corporate environment.

But I had a really difficult realization: even though I didn't like my job, it gave me a sense of identity, a title, a certain income, and a structure that made it look like I had my life together.

And on the outside, I did. I thought I had pretty high self-esteem, but what I actually had was external proof that I was doing ok. And the moment that proof disappeared, so did my sense of self-worth. And I felt pretty empty and unsure of who I was, and I felt like there was something wrong with me. I realized that I'd never actually built a foundation: I'd been using work, a title, praise from other people as a substitute for real self-worth.

Maybe for you, it's not a job. Maybe it's being the one everyone comes to, or the one who holds it all together. Maybe it's your kids' success, or how much you accomplished today. Whatever it is, if your sense of being ok depends on those things staying in place or being at a certain level you're building on sand.

Because the moment one of those things changes or shifts, the moment you disappoint someone, or something doesn't go the way you planned, or you just can't keep up, you're probably gonna feel like something's wrong with you or your world's falling apart to an extent.

So here's what the research shows: High self-esteem doesn't actually predict well-being. Stable self-esteem does. And stable self-esteem isn't built on what you've accomplished. It's built on whether the choices you make reflect your values, and it's built on how you relate to yourself no matter what's going on in your life.

If you want to build stable self-esteem, ground yourself in your core values so that your self-worth doesn't rise and fall with how well you perform today.

That's probably one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself.
Save this video if it changed how you see self-esteem.

08/14/2026

Self-compassion prevented a fight with my husband.

Yesterday, after a long workday, I was tired and needed a few minutes to decompress. My husband asked if I could make a quick call to let my parents know we might be late for dinner.

It would have been easy to just say yes.

But I could predict what would happen if I did. I would probably feel frustrated and resentful, and those feelings would show up later as conflict.

So instead, I paused and acknowledged what I actually needed. And I asked if he could make the call.

He said he would, and that was it.

It was such a small moment, but I could feel that I had a choice. I could push myself to do one more thing and repeat an old pattern, or I could be honest about what I needed.

It's easy to think that self-compassion is just about how we relate to ourselves, but it can be the missing piece in breaking patterns and making fresh choices in our relationships, too.

What would it look like to give yourself those 10 minutes? ❤️

02/10/2026

✨ Registration is open for Everyday Self-Compassion ✨

Everyday Self-Compassion is an 8-week live, online art journaling program for recovering perfectionists who want to soften self-judgment, and reconnect with kindness and creativity.

Through guided art journaling and gentle self-compassion practices, we explore how to be kinder to ourselves ~ especially on days when things feel overwhelming, messy or hard.

This is a warm, welcoming group space where you don’t have to get it right, be artistic, or fix yourself to belong.

🌱 Two live cohorts (Thursday evenings & Friday mornings)
🎨 No art experience needed
🫶 Emphasis on pacing, choice, and nervous-system-friendly practices

If this sounds supportive, please click here to learn more ❤️: https://www.creativeselfcompassion.com/ESCSPRING2026

(And if someone you care about might benefit, please pass this along)

Registration is now open for Everyday Self-Compassion ~ an 8-week live online group program where you’ll learn accessible and creative ways to find calm and kindness when you feel overloaded, self-critical, or unsure what comes next.