Emancipating Sexuality

01/06/2022

Free Teaching Today!

As a s*x therapist, I have the honor of hearing what's really happening in many people's private s*x lives. I love it!

And I can tell you honestly, that especially for partners who have been together for several years, desire and s*xual frequency often get really complicated!

One of you wants more s*x than the other.
One of you feels obligated.
One of you doesn't feel like you can say what you really need or want.
You want s*x to just be easy, organic and natural.

But instead, s*x becomes a hot-spot, and not in a good way!

I've been married twice: the first time, not so good. 😞

My second (and current) marriage is phenomenal! 🔥🔥🔥

In my first marriage, the frequency of s*x slowed down to a trickle.

The saddest part: we never talked about it.

Neither of us was fulfilled or happy.

I remember hearing my friends talk about s*x in their relationships, and being reallllly quiet.

After that marriage ended, I swore I would never again have s*x be something that was hidden in the shadows.

I committed to engaging upfront, and honestly, about needs, desires, likes and dislikes with all partners!

Learning to do this was a journey, with a lot of trial and error.

It took awhile and a lot of work and therapy, but now, Ari and I talk about s*x all.the.time.

Discussing "s*x" is a standing agenda item in our weekly meeting!

It's a source of deep and vulnerable connection for both of us.

And it means that we have to be really honest with each other, and sometimes say the hard truths.

It's okay, because we've built a foundation and a skillset to be able to do this.

If you have a partner and are having s*x, what part is great? What part challenges you?
If you have a partner and you are not having s*x, same questions!

Today I am teaching you how to navigate differences in s*xual desire in your partnership.

You'll get the best couples tools I have, so that you can find more of that ease and fun in s*x that you want!

I'll teach you how to normalize talking about s*x, so the conflict (silent or loud!) that you have around s*x stops, and you get on the same team again.

I hope you (and your partner!) will join, because we'll have plenty of time for Q and A, so you'll get the support you need for s*x to be easier.

Do you and your partner conflict over how frequently you have s*x? You deserve a shared s*xuality that works for you both.

01/05/2022

If you struggle in partnership with different levels of s*xual desire (and really, every couple I have ever worked with does!) then sign up for the this FREE LIVE WEBINAR with me tomorrow, January 6, 2022 at 1pm ET

Navigating differences in desire in long-term partnership takes skills and understanding, and this teaching will offer you:

~Compassionate understanding of what creates differences in desire
~How couples navigate mismatched libido and stay out of conflict
~How you and your partner can be more on the same team when it comes to s*x

Register here:

Do you and your partner conflict over how frequently you have s*x? You deserve a shared s*xuality that works for you both.

12/02/2021

FREE TEACHING! Happening today (Thursday 1 PM Eastern)
Somatic practices to navigate holiday conflict! https://wellcelium.org/avoiding-holiday-conflict-webinar/

11/10/2021

Do you struggle with taking things personally?

Getting your feelings hurt in relationship is normal.

Hurting a partner's feelings is also normal.

And it sure isn't any fun.

Quick story: Last week, my partner Ari forgot to tell me that he had a meeting, and wouldn't be home for dinner.

And even though I trust my partner, and I knew he had just forgotten to mention it, I still had feelings come up.

Why was my partner so forgetful?
What did that mean about me and how he feels?
Why was I making any kind of deal about such a little thing, at all??
Annoyance often comes up quickly, and recognizing the other, deeper feelings takes longer.

As I slowed and listened, I realized that I felt sad.

I had been looking forward to the evening together.

It really wasn't a big deal, even though it felt personal.

Acknowledging the sadness was key to allowing it to move through.

Taking it personally actually allowed me to feel what I was feeling.

Which helped it shift more quickly.

I'll be teaching all about taking personally this THURSDAY (Tomorrow). You can sign up here. ​https://wellcelium.org/happy-partnership-practice-how-to-not-take-it-personally-webinar/

10/19/2021

You don't have to live a life full of shame disconnected from your pleasure!

Watch the ground-breaking interview series Va**na ~ P***y ~ V***a: Lifting Taboos of Our Sexuality, Power & Wisdom to find out how.

Should you attend? Totally! This event is for women, folks with vulvas, and people impacted by patriarchy.

So, empower and liberate yourself by accessing your body's wisdom, pleasure, and authentic s*xuality.

See the link here >> https://vaginapussyvulva.com/pamo

09/23/2021

I wrote this six years ago, about a fu***ng that changed my life. It remains true to this day. You've probably never read it, and fair warning that it's graphic and you might not want to be up in my junk that much. But if you're curious about fu***ng that f***s shame away, and the work we can do together in community of erotic healing, have at it.

“What are you flagging?” Sie asks. I follow hir green eyes down to the matching green bandana hanging off my belt. I’ve been camping for days on the gentle land of southwest Washington …

09/15/2021

Thriving relationships rely on specific practices and habits.

Barely-surviving relationships do too.

It's not magic.

Changing what you are practicing in your relationship is the #1 way to change the results you are getting.

I'll tell you a quick story.

When Ari and I were first together, we were both working really hard, and spent a lot of time apart.

One of us would come home, and reentry would be really rocky.

One or both of us would feel frustrated, unloved, or even rejected.

Tension and even conflict ensued.

We worked with our couples therapist on this specific trouble spot.

The practice we came up with is whenever one of us comes home, the other drops what they are doing, stands up and walks to the other, to welcome them into our home.

Showing up with just this little moment of presence positively shifted our relationship BEYOND just that moment.

It's the little things, the small habits and practices, that lead to a happy relationship.

This week (Thursday) I'll be sharing what I know about bad relationship habits, and how to shift them. Sign up here: https://wellcelium.org/breaking-bad-partnership-habits-webinar/

08/04/2021

Free teaching tomorrow: Unleashing your s*xual self-esteem!

Two things impede self-esteem. Shame & Fear of Rejection.

Humans are scared of rejection for a really good reason.

We are biologically wired with a need to belong... in order to survive!

So it makes sense that fear of rejection is one of the deepest fears you have.

So deep that it is often hard to notice how feeling afraid holds you back in all kinds of ways in your life.
And what's true is that fear of rejection is the opposite of feeling confident.

What you want is to be thriving in your life, but this silent, invisible barrier is holding you back.

Here are five ways you are most likely impacted by your deeply buried fear of rejection.

You avoid new opportunities. In terms of s*x and intimacy, you are hesitant to ask new people out, because you're scared they might say no.

You perform being confident, but inside are deeply scared that you'll be found out. This is imposter syndrome. You don't let the "real you" be seen and known.

You don't speak your needs and desires in a clear, straight-forward and adult manner.

You try to please everyone. You make yourself 'palatable' so you won't be rejected.

You push through your own boundaries, and/or let others push through your boundaries.

I'll be sharing more about rejection resilience in our webinar Thursday, so make sure you sign up. https://wellcelium.org/unleashing-your-s*xual-self-esteem-webinar/

07/01/2021

Today's the day when I confront shame publicly!
I am tired of all the folks I know and love living lives impacted by the continual presence of shame.
So many s*xy, beautiful and wise people who can't get out from under the weight of it yet.
Enough. I say enough.
It's easier to do big things with support, in community. So if you are ready to embrace your whole self, and be on the path of developing s*xual confidence and erotic courage, I invite you to join me TODAY at 1 PM Eastern.
I am offering a free teaching helping you notice and dismantle invisible systems of shame that hold you hostage without your noticing.
It's a brave move, and I hope you'll register.
https://wellcelium.org/overcoming-shame-webinar/
ALSO! Those who register will be getting access to early registration at a discounted price to our soon-launching Erotic Confidence course, so all the more reason to attend!

If you desire greater intimacy, healthier boundaries and a deepened relationships, join us for our free monthly webinars series.

06/29/2021

Even now, I am in continual dialogue with s*xual shame. This morning I wrote in my journal about erotic belonging, and how I practice it.

Shame exerts control in such sneaky, almost invisible ways. Not sending a message to a cute person on OKC because I worry they won't like fat bodies. Looking away when someone cute smiles at me in Whole Foods. Feeling embarrassed that my magic wand lolls about on the floor by my bed, I should put it out of sight.

It's a constant vigilance, weeding shame from my s*xuality. Sometimes it feels that when I cut one tendril, another sprouts in another place, stealthily.

Thursday I am offering a free teaching helping you notice and dismantle invisible systems of shame that hold you hostage without your noticing.

It's a brave move, and I hope you'll register.

ALSO! Those who register will be getting access to early registration at a discounted price to our soon-launching Erotic Confidence course, so all the more reason to attend! https://wellcelium.org/overcoming-shame-webinar/ -register

Limited to 100

06/25/2021

Here's the thing: no one super loves talking about shame. Often, folks have shame about having shame, cuz we're all supposed to be s*x positive. That means feeling squicked or uncomfortable with any aspect of s*x means you aren't s*x positive.

I call bu****it.

This week, I watched a documentary film called Raw.Uncut.Video.

It was about gay fe**sh p**n makers in the 80's.

There was much of their original footage, and at least three times, I had to TURN AWAY eyes! It made me feel squirmy, and know what? I loved it.

I love knowing that even after all these years in the s*xuality industry, there are still things that are new, that make me feel, that make me averse, that wake me up.

I still have s*xual shame!

Why is this good news? Because it means there are places that I can learn and grow in my s*xuality. There is novelty. Truth, I've thoguht of those three scenes a number of times this week. Reflected on them. Thought about how wonderful that there are so many perversions, so many kinks, that there is something for everyone, that desires are SOOOO diverse!

Working with s*xual shame like this, out in the open, with curiosity, is a game changer. No more secrecy, hiding. Just wow! I want to be exposed to all kinds of new s*xual things!

Thursday, July 1 we are offering a free teaching on practical ways to work with shame, so that it doesn't impede the free flow of your s*xuality.

Shame and erotic confidence cannot co-exist. If you want to feel erotically confident, you gotta be at least a little willing to address the impact of shame on your s*x life.

Truly, your erotic confidence matters A LOT! More than most of us think. Consider this: at moments you have felt really erotically brave, how has that tracked onto the rest of your life?

I'm excited to teach you what I've learned about erotic courage in the face of stigma and shame, and how I work everyday for liberation.

Join me, only 100 spots, be one of the few willing to take a clear-eyed look at this taboo topic. https://wellcelium.org/overcoming-shame-webinar/