Lynda Nguyen

From Feedback to Fuel: How Evaluations Can Transform Development—If We Let Them

In over a decade of coaching and building leadership programs across industries—tech, legal, nonprofits, and startups—one thing has always stayed true:

✨ Feedback isn’t a wrap-up. It’s a launchpad.

I’ve seen too many workshops and training initiatives end with a smile sheet or post-session survey… and then disappear. On the surface, the program worked. But real growth isn’t about one great session. It’s about what happens after. It’s how we listen to what people say, track what they do, and evolve the approach accordingly.

🧠 Adult learning theory backs this up. The 70-20-10 model tells us:

●70% of learning happens on the job

●20% through coaching + social feedback

●Only 10% through formal training

So why do we overinvest in the 10% and leave the 70% to chance?

An example I can’t forget:

I once led a leadership development program for a group of talented professionals entering people management for the first time. We used DiSC assessments to surface behavior patterns, stress responses, and communication blind spots.

In the debrief, one participant (a high “I”) admitted:

> “This all sounds great, but I still say yes to everything because I want to be liked. I don’t know how to set boundaries without disappointing people.”

That moment? That was the learning. Not the slide deck. Not the theory. But the honesty. The lived conflict.

So—we paused. I designed a follow-up:
"How to Say No Without Losing Rapport.”
We practiced in real time. Managers got post-training prompts for coaching follow-through.

💡 Three months later, she’d reshaped her role, and earned a peer award for her clarity and communication.

That win came not from content—but from coaching, iteration, and evaluation that actually listens.

So here’s what I’ve found works:

✅ Design with evaluation in mind
Build reflection points and check-ins before launch. Ask: “How will we know if this mattered 60 days later?”

✅ Use tools like DiSC as springboards, not scorecards
When people can name their style, they can start to own their growth.

✅ Create coaching moments inside the learning journey
Group sessions, manager support, individual reflection. It’s not one-and-done.

✅ Turn feedback into iteration—not just celebration
High ratings are nice. But I watch for subtle patterns: silence, hesitation, or what’s missing.

In law firms, healthcare, tech, and high-stakes industries—people don’t need more info. They need integrated, practical development they can use immediately.

That’s what I design. That’s the work I care about.

Not just training.
Not just coaching.

●But evolving systems that help people show up better—aligned, aware, and effective.●

👋 I’m a licensed DiSC facilitator, certified trained coach, and leadership coaching partner to execs and teams.

How do you use feedback loops in your coaching or development programs?

"It took me a long time to get here," I said that under the moonlight over a decade ago, heart still quaking from the meditation, breath shallow from all that was stirring inside me.

I wasn’t referring to a place.
I meant the work.
The real work.
The kind that doesn’t live in books or words or well-organized syllabi.

“This isn’t just intellectual or academic,” I told her. “This work pierces my soul in places I’m only just remembering.”

She didn’t smile. She didn’t nod. She simply looked at me with this neutral, open, knowing gaze—the kind of look only someone who has walked through their own fire can offer—and said one word:

“Evolution.”

Only some of us are brave enough to evolve,” she said. “To remember who we were before the forgetting. The rest just repeat the same year, mistaking it for a life."

That moment split me open.

Because I’ve always been good with words. With frameworks. With clever analysis and calculated reflection. Those things are easy—comforting, even.

But this?

This work?

It renders you speechless.

No theories. No clever insights. No clean formulas.

Just silence.

And in that silence, something ancient awakens.

There’s an old Egyptian teaching—I believe it was Egyptian, or perhaps Sufi or esoteric mysticism—that at the gates of Heaven, it is not those with all the right answers who are allowed in, but those who arrive with no more questions, only awe.

I’ve felt that.

Not just once, but many times over the years—
Every time I shed a skin, let a self die, was reborn not into a new idea but into a new embodiment.

Since that moonlit night, I’ve been through lifetimes.

Let go of what no longer fit.

Burned through false layers.

And every time I thought I had arrived, evolution whispered:

“There’s more.”

This new headshot—it isn’t vanity.
It’s a timestamp of this becoming.
Of standing in front of the lens not to be seen but to reveal.

Another layer.

Another truth.

Another awe-filled silence and connection....

What if your next transformation isn’t something to explain, but something to feel all the way through?

What if the next version of you…
doesn’t come with answers, but awe?



5/10/2025

Future of Leadership: Freedom, Truth-Telling & the Hard Conversations That Shape Us

There’s a shift happening in leadership—one that moves away from control and compliance toward freedom and truth-telling. In a world where teams crave authenticity and workplaces demand innovation, leaders who embrace these principles are the ones shaping the future.

But let’s be real—this movement is so much bigger than corporate leadership and team dynamics. It’s about life. It’s about the way we show up in our relationships, how we navigate power, how we avoid or confront truth. Because how you do one thing is how you do everything.

I see it daily: a leader who struggles with directness at work also struggles at home, a team that avoids conflict mirrors personal tensions, and a high-achieving executive burning out at work is likely burning out emotionally, s*xually, and spiritually too.

●The way we lead is the way we love.
●The way we negotiate deals is the way we negotiate boundaries in our relationships.
●The way we handle loss in our careers is the way we handle loss in our lives.
●The way we speak—or don’t speak—the truth at work is the way we suppress our truth in the most intimate parts of ourselves.

So yes, my movement is about leadership. But it’s also about s*x, grief, loss, mental health, burnout, desire, and the things we’re told not to talk about. It’s about the courage to look at the parts of ourselves we’ve kept hidden, to bring them into the light, and to create a world—inside and outside of work—where truth isn’t just tolerated, it’s celebrated.

Truth isn’t absolute—it’s a spectrum. This movement is about questioning our own truths, others', and the systems we navigate. We all have biases and see the world through our own lenses. Real truth-telling means checking where we might be blind and asking ourselves tough questions.

✔️ Where am I holding onto a “truth” that might actually be a belief shaped by fear, privilege, or conditioning?
✔️ Where am I listening only to voices that affirm me, rather than challenge me?
✔️ Where does my truth need more depth, more nuance, more willingness to evolve?

I've seen what happens when people step into this work.

I’m bringing these conversations everywhere. On stages. In boardrooms. On Instagram. And soon—on my podcast.

We’re going to talk about the things that scare us. The things we whisper about behind closed doors. The things we think we’re alone in—but we’re not.

Instagram

✔️ Where in your life are you telling the truth?
✔️ Where are you not?
✔️ What would shift if you actually stepped into full honesty—with yourself, your team, your partner, your body, your desires?
✔️ And where might your truth need to be examined, stretched, or challenged?

Leadership isn’t just about business. It’s about how we move through the world. How we own our power, how we navigate truth, how we create spaces where transformation happens—not just in boardrooms, but in bedrooms, in friendships, in the deepest parts of ourselves.

Generations of Strength on International Women’s Day

On International Women’s week, I’m sharing two photos—one from 1981 and another from 2017, just before my grandmother passed—capturing three generations of resilience: my grandmother, my mother, and me.

My grandmother was a trailblazer, fleeing Vietnam in 1974 and rebuilding from nothing with relentless courage and an entrepreneurial spirit. My mother followed after the fall of Saigon, sacrificing comfort and security to give my sister and me opportunities beyond a war-torn homeland.

Grandmother would endearingly greet me as her "Bravest Granddaughter," not just as a nickname but as an anointing. Where others saw wildness to tame, she saw power. While aunties whispered about my black sheep tendencies, she smiled, knowing freedom never came from following the herd. She knew true leadership means forging new paths, standing firm in integrity, and lifting others as you rise. Even now, when doubt creeps in, I hear her voice, reminding me of the strength I come from.

Women of my grandmother’s and mother’s era faced war, displacement, and rigid gender roles—but they persisted. I’m deeply grateful to the feminist movements that paved the way for women’s education, autonomy, and leadership. It’s staggering that until 1974, women in the U.S. couldn’t open a credit card or secure a mortgage without a man’s approval. That same year, my grandmother fled Vietnam, seeking a future where independence wasn’t a privilege but a right. Progress like this didn’t happen by chance—it happened because women demanded it

What We’ve Accomplished:

✔️ Legal & financial rights: Women in the U.S. won the right to open credit cards, take out loans, and secure mortgages without a male co-signer in 1974.
✔️ Workforce participation: More women than ever are in the workforce, leading industries, innovating, and redefining leadership.
✔️ Education & representation: Women now earn more college degrees than men in many countries and are making strides in leadership positions across sectors.
✔️ Global progress: Women’s rights movements worldwide have led to historic gains in reproductive rights, workplace protections, and political representation.

What Still Needs Work:

⚠️ Venture capital disparity: Women-led businesses still receive only 2.1% of total venture capital funding.
⚠️ Wage gap: Women, on average, still earn 83 cents for every dollar a man makes, and the gap is wider for women of color.
⚠️ Leadership inequality: Women remain underrepresented in executive leadership, holding only about 10% of Fortune 500 CEO roles.
⚠️ Equity beyond corporate spaces: Millions of women globally still lack access to basic rights, education, and financial independence.

So today, I celebrate all the women pushing boundaries, lifting each other up, and leading with courage. And I honor the men who stand as allies, who mentor, advocate, and create spaces where women can thrive.

True personal growth isn’t about perfection—it’s about truth. It’s about catching ourselves in the little lies we tell to stay comfortable:

“I’m fine.” (But I’m not.)
“This is what I want.” (But is it really?)
“They’ll change.” (Even when all signs say they won’t.)
“This is just how I am.” (Or is it just what I’ve settled for?)
“I’m not sure what I want.” (But deep down, I know what I’m craving).
“I can’t have everything I want.” (But maybe I’m just afraid to go after it.)

We lie to protect ourselves—from pain, from rejection, from admitting that something isn’t working. But every time we do, we trade our freedom for illusion.

And nowhere do we lie more than with our desires.

We shrink them to fit expectations. We deny them to avoid judgment. We convince ourselves that wanting more is selfish, impractical, or too much to ask for. But the heart never stops speaking. It whispers in the quiet moments, in the restlessness, in the longing that won’t go away.

Growth is learning to listen—to the truth beneath our fears, to the love we are afraid to give or receive, to the dreams we’ve buried under “shoulds.” It’s about breaking free from the status quo—the version of success, love, and happiness we’ve been conditioned to chase but never truly questioned.

What if the life you think you should want isn’t the life your soul is actually calling for?

What if you stopped settling for what’s acceptable and reached for what’s real?

It’s raw. It’s uncomfortable. It forces us to take responsibility for our lives in ways we never have before. But it’s also the most liberating thing we can do. When we stop deceiving ourselves, we finally create space for real love, real alignment, real success, and transformations.

What would shift if you told yourself the truth?



Instagram:

Presidents Day 🇺🇸

Today, we honor the leaders who have shaped the United States through vision, diplomacy, and resilience. Presidents Day is more than just a holiday—it’s a reminder that leadership isn’t about power alone. It’s about navigating uncertainty, inspiring action, and leaving a lasting impact.

Throughout history, some presidents have exemplified extraordinary leadership through their ability to unite, innovate, and transform the nation:

Abraham Lincoln – A true master of leadership in crisis, his unwavering commitment to unity and justice during the Civil War laid the foundation for a stronger, more united nation. His ability to communicate a vision beyond political divides is a lesson in resilience.

Franklin D. Roosevelt – Facing the Great Depression and World War II, he didn’t just lead—he reassured. His ability to balance strong decision-making with empathy created a legacy of hope and action that leaders today can still learn from.

John F. Kennedy – His belief in innovation and diplomacy pushed the U.S. forward in space exploration and civil rights, proving that great leadership requires not just vision but also courage.

Barack Obama – Regardless of politics, his emphasis on global collaboration, diplomacy, and hope demonstrated how leaders can influence through words, strategy, and presence.

And then there’s Donald Trump—a name that sparks debate in every room. But love him or hate him, he demonstrated the power of direct, unfiltered communication and the ability to disrupt traditional politics. His presidency forces Americans to reconsider strategy, challenge the status quo, and engage more actively in political discourse. If nothing else, it proved that leadership isn't about pleasing everyone—it’s about making bold decisions.

Leadership is ever-evolving, and we all shape its future. America’s strength lies in reinvention, resilience, and progress. Each administration leaves lessons—our challenge is how we apply them.

✔ Diplomacy Matters – The ability to build bridges, even with those we disagree with, is a skill that extends beyond politics and into business, relationships, and life.
✔ Crisis Reveals Character – The best leaders don’t shy away from challenges; they rise to meet them with clarity, conviction, and adaptability.
✔ Innovation Drives the Future – Whether in politics, business, or leadership, those who embrace change, challenge norms, and think forward will shape the future.
✔ Engagement is Power – Our country thrives when its people are informed, involved, and invested in its direction. Leadership isn’t just about the few at the top—it’s about all of us stepping up in our communities, companies, and daily lives.

On this Presidents Day, let’s reflect on the type of leadership we admire—and more importantly, the kind of leadership we want to embody. The future of America doesn’t rest solely on politicians; it rests on all of us.

What leadership qualities do you believe are most important for our future?

The Path of Unapologetic Growth

Evolution isn’t a path everyone is willing to walk. Growth requires shedding, and sometimes that means walking alone. Not everyone will understand. Not everyone will come with you.

But solitude isn’t emptiness—it’s clarity. The quiet reveals what truly matters, and the space you create by letting go makes room for something greater. Walking alone doesn’t mean you’re lost; it means you’re brave enough to move forward without needing permission.

Truth-telling is its own form of freedom. Speaking what others shy away from, breaking cycles, and standing firm in your authenticity—this is the work of those who refuse to live a life dictated by fear. Freedom isn’t just about movement; it’s about the courage to exist fully, without apology.

And if you’re blessed enough to find a partner and those who see the world as you do—who are brave enough to walk beside you, challenge you, and hold space for your truth—hold them tight. Even more, cherish those who can embrace both your strength and your vulnerability, your tenderness and your fierceness, who see you fully and honor every part of who you are.

These are the ones who elevate the journey, strengthen the truth, and make freedom feel truly limitless.

Keep going. Keep evolving. Keep telling the truth.



INSTAGRAM:

Commanding a Room Without Force:
Power of Your Voice

For years, I had a recurring dream where I was chased by a faceless figure, but when they reached me, I couldn’t scream. I woke up gasping, realizing it reflected my struggle to fully own my voice.

In my late 20s, everything changed.

The Subconscious Roots of a Blocked Voice

The inability to scream in my dream mirrored my struggle to speak up in meetings, challenge authority, and express myself in personal relationships.

I wasn’t alone. Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory shows that stress or past conditioning triggers a freeze response, shutting down vocal expression. Harvard researchers found social threat causes higher-pitched, breathy voices, signaling uncertainty and affecting perception. My voice reflected and shaped how others saw me.

How I Unblocked My Voice (How You Can Too)

Through a mix of deep work and professional training, I started rewiring my presence:

1. Breathwork Regulates Nervous System

I learned confidence starts in the body. I practiced resonant breathing (inhale for 4, exhale for 6) to activate my vagus nerve and shift into calm, grounded presence before high-stakes conversations.

2. Lowered Tone & Pauses

Instead of forcing a deeper voice, I focused on breathing from my diaphragm. UCLA research shows grounded voices are seen as more trustworthy. I also used intentional pauses to increase word impact and create anticipation.

3. Rewriting Internal Narratives

My voice carried the weight of limiting beliefs like: Don’t take up space and What if I say the wrong thing? I rewired these using NLP, repeating:

My voice matters

I am allowed to take space

Speaking with clarity is a gift

Studies on self-affirmation theory show that positive reinforcement reshapes neural pathways, reducing fear responses associated with speaking up.

4. Tone Shift That Makes People Listen

Commanding a room isn’t about volume—Yale research shows warmth and steady presence matter more.

Instead of forcing confidence, I slowed down, used downward inflections, and varied pitch. This shift didn’t demand attention—it invited it.

Clarity Eliminates Confusion

Over-explaining weakens presence. Research shows less is more. The fix? Short sentences. Strong verbs. No fillers.
Instead of: "I think we should try X…"
Say: "X works. Here’s why."

Make People Actually Care About What You Say

Princeton research shows storytelling syncs speaker and listener brains, deepening engagement. I began sharing personal anecdotes, universal struggles, and clear resolutions—transforming how I connected.

Presence Over Performance

By my late 20s, I learned commanding a room wasn’t about volume—it was about:
✔ Grounding my nervous system
✔ Speaking with intention
✔ Owning my space

If you’ve felt unheard or stuck, the solution isn’t trying harder—it’s removing the barriers so your voice resonates.

Work with me, you’ll turn hesitation into confident, authentic expression and create the presence you deserve.

Who You Sit Next to—at Work and in Life—Matters

We all know that the people around us influence us, but research from Northwestern University put numbers to it:

✅ Sitting within 25 feet of a high performer can boost your own performance by 15%.
❌ Being near a toxic or low performer? The negative impact can be twice as strong.

But this goes beyond just performance.

It’s about who we become.

Early in my career, I worked with a mentor who excelled in project management. Her leadership and problem-solving skills inspired me, and by observing her, I unknowingly adopted her approach, boosting my effectiveness and results.

I've also been surrounded by fear and a limited mindset, where conversations felt confined and energy was drained. Over time, I mirrored that negativity—until stepping away helped me regain clarity and opened me up to new possibilities.

This isn’t just about colleagues—it’s about our most intimate relationships.

A mentor once told me, "Pay attention to how you feel after spending time with someone. That’s the real measure of a relationship."

Some people leave you feeling energized, inspired, and open to new ideas. You walk away with a fresh perspective or deeper understanding. Others keep things basic—focused on surface-level topics or repeating the same conversations.

I’ve had relationships that challenged me to think bigger, feel deeper, and dream bolder. And I’ve had relationships where I felt like I had to shrink, where the emotional intelligence was low, where depth and self-awareness were missing.

Over time, I’ve learned to be more intentional about who I allow in my closest proximity. Because proximity isn’t just about work—it’s about the emotional energy we absorb in our most personal spaces.

This research is a powerful reminder that who we work closest with—and who we build relationships with—shapes our success.

●What if seating charts weren’t random, but strategic?

●What if mentorship wasn’t just formal but built into proximity?

●What if we asked ourselves: Are my closest relationships helping me evolve—or keeping me in the same loop?

Intentional Proximity:

1️⃣ Audit Your Circle – Do those closest to you elevate your thinking and inspire growth, or keep you stagnant?

2️⃣ Curate Your Environment – At work, get close to high performers. In life, spend time with people who energize and expand you.

3️⃣ Expansive Conversations – Focus on those who engage in deep, inspiring discussions over surface-level talk.

4️⃣ Mentorship by Osmosis – If you can’t formally work with a mentor, learn by observing their actions and mindset.

5️⃣ Be the Person Others Want to Sit Next To – Bring energy and insight to your relationships to attract high performers and emotionally intelligent people.

Who are the five people influencing you most?

Do they inspire deep conversations?

How can you be more intentional about surrounding yourself with excellence and emotional intelligence?

Proximity shapes possibility. Choose wisely.

The Small Moments That Make or Break Relationships

I once found myself pulling away from someone I deeply cared about. It wasn’t a conscious decision—it was just a slow, quiet withdrawal. I kept sharing little things that mattered to me—small victories, thoughts, memories—but they rarely engaged. My excitement was dismissed or met with indifference, my stories with distracted nods. Over time, I stopped trying.

I didn’t realize it then, but I was experiencing what Dr. John Gottman calls missed bids for connection—the small, everyday moments that, when ignored, slowly erode relationships.

Gottman’s research, famously conducted in his "Love Lab," found that the biggest predictor of lasting relationships is how often partners turn toward each other’s bids for connection. A bid can be as simple as saying, “Look at that hawk!” or bringing up a favorite topic for the 100th time. The response—whether we engage, acknowledge with a smile, or ignore—determines the strength of the relationship.

But this isn’t just about romantic relationships. The same principle applies in friendships and teams at work.

●When a loved one texts you a meme, do you respond or ignore it?

●When a teammate shares an idea, do you listen or check your email?

●When a colleague seems “off,” do you check in or assume they’re fine?

In strong teams, people recognize and respond to bids for connection—whether it’s a leader fostering discussion, a colleague remembering your coffee order, or a teammate acknowledging your contribution. These micro-moments build trust, resilience, and a culture of belonging.

The Science

Beyond Gottman’s work, other psychological research reinforces how small interactions shape relationships:

●Broaden-and-Build Theory (Fredrickson): Small positive interactions strengthen trust and connection, boosting engagement and collaboration.

●Social Exchange Theory: People invest in relationships with positive, reciprocal interactions but disengage when bids are ignored.

●Workplace Trust (HBR, 2019): Employees who feel valued are 47% more likely to stay, reinforcing the power of small moments of recognition.

Great leaders understand that bids for connection show up in subtle ways:

●A junior employee who stays late and hopes their effort is noticed.

●A colleague bringing up a challenge and hoping for acknowledgment.

●A team member sharing a personal story in a meeting, looking for empathy.

Leaders who turn toward these moments—who validate, engage, and show appreciation—create environments where people feel psychologically safe and motivated to contribute.

Experiencing neglected bids taught me to pay attention—small moments shape relationships.

Now, I challenge myself to respond with presence—to pause, engage, and acknowledge even the smallest bid for connection. Whether it’s in personal relationships, friendships, or in teams, every interaction is an opportunity to build or erode trust.

Resonance: Why Some Voices Command a Room

Have you ever listened to someone speak and felt instantly drawn in, as if their words held more weight, more presence? And then there are voices that, despite a strong message, seem to fade into the background.

It’s not just what we say—it’s how we say it.

We’re naturally wired to respond to certain vocal frequencies. Research reveals that deeper, resonant voices are often perceived as more authoritative and trustworthy. A Duke study found that CEOs with lower-pitched voices tend to lead larger companies and earn higher salaries. Another study highlighted that speakers with varied pitch and deliberate pacing are more persuasive and engaging.

Vocal resonance also plays a role in romantic attraction, as we're instinctively drawn to voices that exude confidence, warmth, and stability. Similar resonances tend to attract one another, which could explain my preference for deeper voices. It's not just the pitch, though—vocal modulation, including tone and rhythm, is key to fostering emotional connection. That initial attraction starts with the sound, but it's the energy and connection behind the voice that truly keeps me engaged.

While we can’t change our natural vocal resonance, we can train our voice to be more intentional, confident, and in sync with our message.

I’ve spent years coaching TED speakers, executives, and leaders to refine their presence. One executive, despite having brilliant ideas, struggled with an uncertain tone. By grounding her breath, lowering her pitch, and eliminating upward inflections, she transformed—stepping into her authority and being heard.

In my work with negotiation, mediation, and clinical hypnotherapy, I’ve learned that communication is more than words—it’s energy, rhythm, and unspoken resonance.

In my negotiations and mediation work, tone can either diffuse or escalate conflict. In mediation, I help leaders regulate their voice to shift power dynamics. Through my hypnotherapy and guided meditation work, I've witnessed how subtle vocal shifts guide the subconscious toward trust and resolution.

Ancient traditions have long taught that sound is vibration, and vibration is energy. Yogic mantras, Gregorian chants, and even the Earth’s Schumann resonance (7.83 Hz) all remind us that frequencies shape our experience of the world.

When we speak with intention, we transmit energy. A steady, grounded voice can calm, inspire, or build trust, while a scattered voice does the opposite.

This is why on my Spotify (search "Freedom and Truthtelling " on the app) meditations I focus on my voice, breath, and frequency—creating a space where listeners can connect with my message on a deeper level.

Your voice isn’t just a tool—it’s a frequency that influences connection.

Ready to refine your executive presence, negotiate with confidence, or command attention on stage?

Let’s connect.