Behavior Roots

06/18/2026

We don’t just pass on genetics, we pass on survival responses. Changing the patterns start with changing how we meet our nervous system—- something internal that we cannot see; but just because we can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.

Forcing our behaviors and responses to change just because we say we want to doesn’t actually change anything. Most stressors we get stuck in are patterns that are deeply ingrained not just in our words and actions, but in our bodies.

In hindsight, I didn’t realize saying “this just isn’t working” was a threat, and I didn’t realize all I really wanted was love and attention. It was just this automatic response I would make, even though I knew it wasn’t healthy.

I did this in many relationships, not just one. And I think secretly I hoped the partner would say “No I do love you, I want to make this work”— but because of the patterns and dynamics I got myself into, I rarely heard that until I threatened more.

Instead, I attracted avoidant partners who would shut down, or anxious partners who would freak out. And even if they did say what I needed to hear, it didn’t actually help me feel better.

It took me a long time to realize not only the real consequences of that making a statement like that (because I thought it was harmless), but a divorce ultimately, to realize I really needed to change my patterns.

Because what many people don’t realize is that you can’t take back the hurt you cause others. Once the damage is done, it’s done.

This summer and fall, I’m hosting two deep-dive workshops into the architecture of emotions, relationships, and nervous system regulation:

🗓️ JULY: For BCBAs & Practitioners (7 CEUs eligible—let’s bridge behavior science with trauma-informed care).

🗓️ SEPTEMBER: For Everyday People (Build healthier relationships for yourself, and with others).

Register here: https://holistichealthtips.my.canva.site/behavior-roots

11/08/2025

Hello everyone! There will no longer be posts on this page, but you can refer to my profile “Annie Chen” to see my updated posts or follow me on Instagram , or website behaviorroots.com. Thank you!

08/08/2025

The 5 minute routine that keeps me grounded and regulated all day— because a flexible mind = a flexible body.

This practice has been my anchor, and it takes less than 5 minutes. Try it out for a week and notice how much lighter you feel!

04/17/2025

This course will change how you practice ABA, because it did for me.

For me, I’ve dedicated so much of my time and energy into helping clients, but there were often challenging behaviors I couldn’t figure out, along with all the emotional turmoil I experienced navigating my career because something was missing. This course combines a coaching approach with a clinical lens and gives you all the answers to those missing pieces of behaviors, especially the extremely challenging ones.

This course teaches you how to put your own oxygen mask on first. A large portion of it focuses on increasing self-awareness and reflecting on your identity, because this is where real connection with clients and students happens.

I’ve combined all my training as a trauma breath coach and a behavior analyst of 10 years into this course and I sincerely hope it will change your personal life and career like it did mine 🙏

Are you looking for something relatable, digestible and maybe even inspirational? Tag someone who would appreciate this course! Let’s build a bigger, better ABA community 🙌 👇

08/14/2024

Behind every difficult behavior is an unmet need.

Behaviors are… The words we say out loud or in our heads. The emotions that drive us to act a certain way. A response to something not going your way. A comment to a friend. Simply getting out of bed. Sleeping. Eating. Washing our hands is a behavior. The list goes on.

In this context, I’m referring to behaviors that can cause harm or disconnect. The defensive response from a sibling. The nagging response from a partner. The critical comment from the parent. The “no” from a child. The “I don’t want to talk about it” from the teen. The reprimand from a teacher. The jokes from a colleague. The neighbor who is cursing. The look from a stranger.

Here’s why this statement is important:
• When we are able to look at the need, we humanize them
• When we are able to look at the need, we address the cause, not the symptom
• When we are able to meet their need, we increase connection and peaceful relationships

The problem with looking at the surface behavior or action is that it feeds our ego into becoming judgmental, making assumptions, giving them labels like “being lazy”, and thinking we are better than them. None of those actions listed above will help us get along with people better or reduce conflict in our relationships— this includes animals too 😉.

Examples of harmful behaviors masking a need:
• The child who screams “I hate you!” because she is in need of attention, and the only time she gets attention or a reaction from her mom is when she says hurtful things
• The partner who shuts down and says “I’m busy with…” anytime you try to talk to them, because they are in need of relief from feeling overwhelmed, but doesn’t know how to process their emotions
• The parent who snatches the toy from their child and yells “stop it” because they need a break, but has not had one all day because they are a single parent who is burnt out
• The stranger who cuts you off because they were taught by their parents that the only way to survive is to cut people off, when in reality they probably needed someone to show them a different world

Acknowledging the need does not make those behaviors acceptable, it just allows you to think of more effective solutions.

08/02/2024

Campfire 🔥 your thoughts. Like others, I struggle with spiraling into anxiety and trying to control scary situations by adding more fuel to the fire. When this happens I often apply concepts from ACT (acceptance commitment training) to myself when I’m struggling, and you can too with practice. In ACT, we call this defusion. You are de-fusing your thoughts from your identity and your brain. Often what happens when something stressful, alarming or painful occurs— we add fuel to the fire in our heads. We add MORE unhelpful thoughts because of this innate need to “put the fire out”. Thoughts like..
• Condemning ourselves: “If only I did this..” / “why did I do that??”
• Self-debating: “I should do this. No that won’t work. But if I do this…”
• Rationalizing: “well it makes sense this would happen because…”
• Suppressing: *Walks away* “It’s not that important”
• Ignoring: *Goes and does some work to distract*
• Problem Solving: “Lets brainstorm. Okay if I did this maybe it would fix this, which would help with this..”
• Fixing: “I just need to do this..”

Do you do any of these things when you encounter a difficult situation, thought or emotion? It’s quite common to respond this way, especially if we were never taught how to cope with situations and our emotions in a healthy way.

The answer is often a lot more simple than we think. In ABA, we call this being parsimonious (simple thinking). What would it look like to just sit with the emotions? Let them out somewhere safe or to someone safe? Notice and observe them— is your heart besting fast? Is your jaw clenched? Are you holding your breath? Do you feel stiff? Are your eyebrows furrowed?

Catching yourself and recognizing that you can take a different action with your thoughts helps lead you to more productive proactive actions. Camp out your thoughts or make a real campfire and try it out ⛺️

If you’re interested in learning how to apply this, I offer 1:1 coaching on this.

07/21/2024

As I get older and as I dive deeper into my growth both as a professional and a daughter, a wife, a mentor and hopefully a future mother— understanding and practicing co-regulation has been a repetitive key ingredient to building a successful life and successful relationships. Co-regulation isn’t just for children, it’s for our partners, our parents, our siblings, our friends, and our neighbors. Sharing my thoughts as I journey through this with you.

06/20/2024

My e-workbook is out! A big problem I often observe is people asking for solutions to a problem they have, whether that is relationship advice, parenting advice, career advice, and the list goes on. But as a behavior analyst who studies why people do what they do, there can be A LOT of repercussions to this. Having a community to offer resources wonderful and necessary, but following advice is another— because advice is simply an opinion based on that persons own experience of what worked or didin’t work. I want to encourage others to approach solving their problems in a different way, specifically, in a more individualized and analytical way.

This is a very short, simplified reflection workbook that will help you organize your behaviors and habits in a personalized way. Just like how we use personalized skincare because some have dry skin and some have oily skin, personalizing your strategies and solutions are just as important. No one person is the same and there is "no one size fits all" to our stress and problems unfortunately. Only ten short passages to reflect on, this eBook will give you insight into a behavioral understanding of how we operate as humans, and why it is so important to individualize how you solve your problems. Whether it be stress, relationship conflicts with your partner, family, children, eating habits, sleeping habits, studying for an exam— anything really! The concepts in this eBook can apply to any behavior or habit you are looking to change.

Here is the FREE LIMITED TIME BONUS! I genuinely want this to work for you, and I know these concepts work because not only are there decades of research behind this, but I've personally applied this to my own life and have seen how it has helped me overcome some of the biggest barriers and fears I've had in my life—including studying for my BCBA exam, navigating my anxiety and childhood trauma, my miscarriages, and my marital issues with my husband. With real change comes hard work though, and I want to reinforce your hard work with 3 FREE coaching sessions ($450+ value) to get you fueled and ready for change. You can find how to access these free coaching sessions in my eBook.

You can find this eBook located below:
https://behaviorroots.com/events/p/where-do-i-start-a-starter-workbook-for-changing-our-behaviors-and-habits-in-life-relationships-and-career

Your behavior coach Annie 👩🏻

This eBook offers a behavioral analytical perspective of the barriers (it's not us, it's them!) that prevent us from the change we desire. We dive deep into why we have difficulty changing our habits and behaviors and questions to reflect on for permanent results. Take the time to write down your an

06/10/2024

"The biggest barrier is not necessarily ourselves, but the environment in which we grew up and the tools that were never offered to us"-an excerpt from my eBook.

This eBook offers a behavioral analytical perspective of the barriers (it's not us, it's them!) that prevent us from the change we desire. In this book, we dive deep into why we have difficulty changing our habits and behaviors and questions to reflect on for permanent results. If you take the time to write down your answers to the reflection questions offered in each chapter, you are eligible for up to 3 Free Behavior Coaching sessions as well.

If you (or know anyone) who is interested in learning how to change their behaviors whether it is in their personal life, relationships, or career, please join the waitlist here:

04/22/2024

I have partnered with an online lifestyle and wellness magazine (Brainz Magazine) as an executive partner. What this means is I will be writing monthly articles on relevant topics pertaining to my specialty of services and work. I will be offering monthly articles on specific topics so please let me know if there is a topic you are interested in learning more about!

Read below my first executive contributor article on the topic of anxiety below. Enjoy!

All levels of anxiety can impact our health emotionally, physically, and mentally. When we worry, ruminate, or stress...