Wanderlust Narratives

Cat picture of the day: Darwin.

With endless rejection letters, it's hard to keep my head up. I remember feeling similarly a year ago, sitting in my flat as the sun slowly woke up, creeping into my window as I wondered why I can't land anything.

And then I remember feeling this immense realization that I really need to pursue my writing, something I keep circling back to over and over again. I was dedicating myself to daily writing beyond academic endeavors, though that too, resulting in a couple book chapters that really made me proud and allowed me to explore my work lyrically and poetically, ways traditional journals don't quite do.

And then I came back to the U.S. and the depression settled in. Quite frankly, I've been pretty frozen since. Nevermind, of course, the rejections that make me feel like I'm not cut out to be an academic.

I've been really diving into my writing lately, which was supported by something incredible Owen said, suggesting all the time I spend on cover letters maybe should be spent on writing the stuff that makes me happy.

And I've been trying to do that. So, I'm sharing a bit of that reflection here:
https://www.perpetual-wanderlust.com/post/on-being-and-becoming-a-writer

Link is also in my bio and story.

On Friday I did a photoshoot for a dear friend who just recently graduated. She's a first generation student like myself and has gone through hell and back to finish her degree.

This was my graduation gift to her, and I'm so fortunate she allowed me to do this. I'm by no means a professional photographer, but for me, photos can tell stories. Sometimes, they're simply a single moment captured, like an evening out with your loved ones, a wedding or graduation like this, or maybe it's candid, like a laugh, a joke during homeroom or science class in high school.

Sure, we can manipulate photos and social media is curated, and I'm not denying that. But, they can also be incredible, documenting histories that are silenced or left out, ways to learn or share ideas or resistance, to honor the paths our ancestors built, and sometimes, just the personal, a way to celebrate the work we've done.

I typically stick to street art or landscapes, but when Rhiana asked what I thought about graduation photos, I knew I needed to. I remember feeling those moments of emotions, joy, and grief, and I feel fortunate I have been able to capture many of those for her here.

Also, fun fact - my 12 year old daughter captured the last photo, and the set up was her idea ❤️

*Shared with Rhiana's () permission and encouragement

Graffiti in Central San Diego

Our kittens are growing up 🥹❤️ Sisters, Darwin (left) and Gumball (right) love laying in the spot that my sweet Amora, who passed in January at 18 years old. It's bittersweet, but so fortunate we have these sweet babies. Black cats have a way of finding me, but I wouldn't have it any other way 🥰

Hi friends,

I am in need of more survey responses. After my time in Spain, I fell in love with the idea of researching street art. I actually have a paper I have submitted and another I'm developing. For this, I am collecting survey data on San Diego street art, graffiti, and wheatpaste, which are posters that are placed in different places.

My intention is to understand the messages, politics, and stories represented and told through these various forms of art, and also about perceptions and opinions on street art. Culturally these are so vastly different across communities, cities, and countries, and so I'm hoping to identify these differences, too.

If you live in San Diego, I'd love for you to consider taking this survey: tinyurl.com/StreetArtOpinion

Link is also in my bio.

Sharing this because one of the greatest humans I know is organizing this! What an incredible space to build community and speak out again ICE, to support a local business (619 Spirits), and to craft.

I'm looking to connect with faculty in sociology, cultural studies, & education outside of the U.S.

I spent time in Málaga, Spain, & conducted visual ethnographic work on street art. My work focuses on storytelling & use decolonial & critical theories lenses. I also use a range of methods, including community-engaged, visual, & participatory methodologies.

I'm hoping to find folks with whom to collaborate, discuss, and even connect our students.

I turned 38 today.

My daughter made me wear Happy Birthday glasses lol.

Started the day at the DMV because I forgot that my license expired 😭🤦🏻‍♀️

And then got my hair cut.

It certainly wasn't as glorious as spending a birthday in Spain like last year, but it was a nice reminder that laughter and time with loved ones matter more than where you're at.

#38

On Wednesday, January 21, my cat of almost 19 years died. She was 18 years and 8 months old, my heart cat, and I had her since she was 5 weeks old when her mom cat died.

I had every plan to write a eulogy of sorts, honoring her life, discussing the role of pets in companionship, and my life with Amora.

I do plan on revisiting this another day, but then Alex Pretti was murdered, with videos showing he did nothing to justify his death, despite what some claim. Not the first to be murdered by a federal agent, a government-sanctioned ex*****on in the public eye, but with video evidence showing us, proving to us, that he was not aiming to cause harm, and yet, we are consistently being told by certain media otherwise, telling us to trust them and not ourselves.

Things feel incredibly hopeless right now, but we have to keep going. I share my thoughts, a bit of sociology, and the ways existence is political, something some claim to forget, but none of us can afford to. After all, existence is political.

I'm Not Political Grief interrupted by the politics of existence

I had a uterine fibroid embolization 4 days ago, January 14, 2026.

A year before that, on January 14, 2025 I landed in Málaga, Spain, with my kiddos.

Spain is absolutely a large part of my heart, and it's hard to move past that these days, especially as the memories have now trickled in, day-by-day, reminding me where I was a year ago "on this day," thanks to Facebook.

As I lay in bed, recovering in agonizing pain, I have been reflecting on the mindset of No Pasa Nada.

I wrote about that in my Sunday essay and I'd love for you to read it:

https://open.substack.com/pub/ceholkenbrinkmonk/p/no-pasa-nada?r=98ol2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true