The Giant Love Chronicles

Isn't it curious how we often find ourselves tangled in the narrative of how life "should" be, only to stumble upon the realization that life simply unfolds in its own mysterious ways?

Michael Singer's insights into the nature of suffering and happiness ring true, especially when viewed through the prism of relationships.

My own journey with Andrea Bangerter is a testament to this.

We met at a time that, by all accounts, wasn't right for either of us.

Yet, here we are, navigating life's complexities together, embracing the imperfections, and finding beauty in the unexpected.

Research consistently underscores the psychological impact of resisting life's natural flow. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that individuals who embrace acceptance report significantly higher levels of psychological well-being.

This doesn't mean passivity but rather, an active engagement with life as it is, not as we think it should be. By letting go of rigid expectations, we open ourselves to a broader range of possibilities, including love in unexpected circumstances.

There's a certain magic in the stories of people finding connection in the most unlikely moments.

My relationship with Andrea is a mosaic of such moments.

We didn't start our journey with the intention of finding each other, yet the universe had other plans. This serves as a powerful reminder that relationships can thrive even when they begin under less-than-ideal circumstances, fostering a deeper connection through shared experiences of growth and healing.

In the realm of personal development, the concept of "letting go" is not new, yet it remains revolutionary in practice.

Techniques like mindfulness and radical acceptance are at the forefront, encouraging us to break free from the chains of our expectations. These approaches not only help in coping with life's unpredictability but also in appreciating the beauty of what is, fostering resilience and a deeper appreciation for the present moment.

Practically speaking, how does one begin to let go of the "shoulds"?

Start with mindfulness; it's about being present in the moment, acknowledging feelings without judgment. Practicing gratitude also shifts focus from what's lacking to the abundance that exists.

These steps aren't just theoretical; they're actionable and grounded in the daily experience of life's unpredictable beauty.

In conclusion, the narrative of how life "should" be often leads us down a path of resistance and suffering.

Yet, by embracing life as it unfolds, with all its imperfections and surprises, we open ourselves to a richer, more fulfilling experience.

If this resonates with you, and you could use support in your relationship, reach out.

Let's share in the beauty of what is, together.



Cody Bret what do you think?

What does it mean to be committed to your partner?

That’s on my mind this Valentines day, as I think about my relationship with my beautiful girlfriend, Andrea Bangerter. My love person.

You know me and words.

I love them. I love exploring them, their history, their origin, their current usage.

The word commit, rooted in the Latin committere, can be broken into two parts com, meaning with or together, and mittere, to send, like a mission. A pledge, a promise, a contract, a guarantee, and when it comes to a relationship, the “making plans for the future together and assuming that you're going to be together for the indefinite future.”

That! That is what I want to explore. The commitment in a relationship.

There’s a quote that says, “Everyone you now love was once a stranger.” -Mel Robbins

Isn’t that interesting?! Why is that?

How can a stranger become your love person? What takes them from a total stranger, whom you know nothing about, to a lover, a partner, a relationship?

Commitment!

A solid commitment splices two lives together and holds through the storms.” ―Margot Datz

Lack of commitment is the cause of most divorces, about 70% according to statistics. That's more than infidelity and financial reasons combined.

Wouldn’t it make sense that commitment is what holds relationships together?

Commitment is what stays after the honeymoon phase. “Commitment is an act, not a word.” ―Jean-Paul Sartre.

Commitment doesn’t mean you are perfect all of the time or that you don’t have your doubts.

“The relationship between commitment and doubt is by no means an antagonistic one. Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt.” —Rollo May

We live in a world where commitment is no longer commitment. Many want their cake and they want to eat it as well. They want that”committed” relationship, but only in the context of an “open-door” policy. They keep their escape routes cleared and the exit signs lighted so at the slightest sign of discomfort, they can bolt.

Is that commitment?

It is becoming more and more rare to find that committed couple, who despite their differences, despite their challenges, are willing to fight through it for each other; to be committed.

My sister recently shared a Medieval remedy for divorce. In Biertan, a quaint village of Transylvania, they had a unique solution that in 300 years resulted in only one divorce.

Couples, considering separation, were “...locked away together for up to six weeks by the local bishop in hope that they would iron out their problems and avert a divorce.”

How interesting that when the options are eliminated and couples have a chance to work through their challenges together, they were able to resolve their problems; no matter how challenging those problems were.

That is commitment.

“In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced.” ― Robert Sexton

Is commitment love? Yes, a form of it, but commitment is also more than that. Lailah Gifty Akita suggested that, “Love is total surrender, total acceptance, and total commitment.”

So, Andrea, my love, I am committed to you. I love you. I accept you. I adore you. I appreciate you not just on this Valentine’s day, but on every day of the year.

For you, reader, what are you committed to when it comes to your relationship?

How will you show that beyond mere words?

May you have an incredible relationship, whomever they are. May you be committed even on the most challenging days.

Happy Valentine’s day!
Nick

Read the article on Biertan here https://www.bbc.com/travel/article/20170707-a-medieval-remedy-for-divorce

The Vulnerability in Our Journey

“Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s the courage to reveal our true selves.”

When Andrea and I began our journey, we knew very little of each other, but there was an immediate connection. Call it attraction or a deep curiosity.

Whatever it’s called, it opened the door to exploration.

Our relationship has become a tapestry; each pattern woven with threads of vulnerability.

It’s not simply about shared laughter or stolen kisses; it’s about the courage to explore every facet of each other—the light and the shadow.

Our deep conversations and genuine curiosity are leading us to profound intimacy.

We are learning to listen.

“To be heard is to be understood; to listen is to honor vulnerability.”

Our late-night talks are more than words exchanged—they are the spaces wherein our heartbeats synchronize.

We sit across from each other, eyes wide open, souls bared. We share our dreams, fears, and childhood memories—the raw material of vulnerability.

It’s in these moments that we become architects of trust, constructing bridges between our worlds. We listen not just with our ears but with our hearts, validating each other’s existence.

We map out our scars.

“Our scars tell stories—of battles fought, wounds healed, and resilience discovered.”

We trace the contours of our skin—the faded scar on my chin from a childhood fall, a birthmark, like a cluster of stars. Each mark holds a narrative—a situation gone awry, a clumsy kitchen mishap.

But beyond the physical, we explore emotional scars—the ones etched by heartbreak, loss, and triumph.

We map our vulnerabilities—the tender spots where love heals and hurts.

It becomes a dance of trust.

“In vulnerability’s dance, trust leads, and courage follows.”

We sway to the rhythm of trust, our steps uncertain yet deliberate.

We share secrets—the ones we’ve never uttered aloud. We reveal our quirks and neurotic preferences—the desire for alone time, the way she loves to sing with reckless abandon.

We confess our insecurities—the fear of abandonment, the longing for acceptance. And as we twirl, vulnerability becomes our choreography—a dance of authenticity.

We grow through curiosity.

“To know you deeply, I must ask questions that unravel your soul.”

We wield curiosity like paintbrushes, stroking colors onto the canvas of our connection.

We ask about childhood dreams, favorite books, hidden talents. We inquire about fears—the monsters under our beds, the ghosts of past relationships.

We explore our values, beliefs, and aspirations. And with each question, we peel back layers, revealing the hues of vulnerability—the shades of who we truly are.

In the end, the more vulnerable we get, the stronger our relationship grows.

“Vulnerability is the heartbeat of intimacy—the pulse that echoes ‘I see you, and I choose you.’”

I am so grateful to be walking alongside Andrea in our exploration.
This vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s our superpower. It’s the courage to say, “This is me—flawed, imperfect, and real.”

It’s the willingness to hold space for each other’s humanity.

So we will continue this journey, hand in hand, hearts wide open. We will learn every facet—the laughter lines, the hidden scars, the whispered dreams.

For it’s in vulnerability that we find not just love but a mirror reflecting our truest selves.

“Andrea Bangerter, I look forward to continuing the peeling back of the layers to reveal the masterpiece beneath.”

In the heart of our relationship, Andrea Bangerter and I discovered a truth that reshaped everything we thought we knew about love and connection. It started this morning with an innocuous yet profound conversation about gardening, specifically the cultivation of tomatoes, of all things.

The process of artificially accelerating the growth of tomatoes—forcing them to ripen faster and in higher quantities than they naturally would—mirrors the ways in which we might try to manipulate or expedite the development of our relationship.
Just as these rushed tomatoes might appear ripe and abundant on the outside, they lack the depth of flavor and richness of nutrients that come from being allowed to grow and mature at their own pace, nurtured by the sun, soil, and rain.

This realization struck a chord with us, highlighting a parallel in our own interactions.

In the past, there were times when we, driven by fear or impatience, attempted to control the course of our relationship, pushing for outcomes or changes without giving space for natural growth.
This approach, we recognized, could lead to a relationship that, while seemingly successful on the surface, would lack the essential nutrients of trust, authenticity, and deep connection—elements that can only flourish in an environment of patience and genuine care.

The tomato analogy illuminates the importance of nurturing our relationship rather than manipulating it.

It underscores the value of allowing each other the space to grow individually and together, without imposing timelines or expectations. This perspective encourages us to cultivate our bond with love, understanding, and the willingness to embrace the natural cycles of our partnership, trusting that this approach will yield a relationship rich in the qualities that truly matter.

As we talked about the artificial acceleration of tomato growth, we stumbled upon a metaphor for our relationship.

We realized that in our pasts, by trying to force growth, to control the natural unfolding of our bonds, or by these things being done to us, we had inadvertently stripped them of their most essential nutrients: trust, patience, and the space to breathe and grow naturally.

This realization hit me like a wave.

It took me back to moments when fear, not love, guided my actions.

Times when the silence between us wasn't filled with peace but with unspoken anxieties about saying the wrong thing, about pushing too hard or not enough, and the paralyzing fear of abandonment.

It reminded Andrea of her own dance of being controlled, where expressing her needs felt less like sharing and more like walking on eggshells, where love felt conditional on being someone she wasn't, but was being manipulated to be.

We remembered, with aching clarity, the disintegration of our past relationships under the weight of these dynamics.

We saw how control, born from fear, had pushed us into roles that felt safe but were ultimately unsustainable. We were like gardeners too afraid of the winter frost, covering our plants to the point where they couldn't even feel the sun during the Spring and Summer.

But through this shared vulnerability, we found our turning point.
Inspired by the wisdom of thinkers and guides like Brene Brown, who recognizes the transformative power of vulnerability in a relationship, the assertion that "Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” This is becoming a guiding light for us, encouraging us to step into the arena of our relationship with open hearts and a willingness to be seen, truly seen, by one another.

And this view is enhanced by the spiritual teachings from the Bhagavad Gita, "You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work.” This teaches us the value of focusing on our actions—the sincere, loving efforts we put into our relationship—without being overly attached to the outcomes. This teaching helps us cultivate a relationship where the journey itself became the destination, where every step taken together is as important as any end goal we might envision.

Our path is also illuminated by Gary Mahler’s profound insight into authentic being and creation: "There is nothing I need to do in order to get what I want, other than be who I am and create powerfully from that place."

This message underscores the importance of authenticity in our relationship, of being true to ourselves and each other, and trusting that from this place of authenticity, our relationship will flourish.
Our journey is one of mindful cultivation.

We are learning to tend to our relationship like a garden, understanding that real growth cannot be rushed or forced.
We are embracing the seasons of our love, recognizing that just as plants need both sun and rain, our relationship thrives on both joy and challenge.

We see our differences not as threats but as the diverse flora in our garden, each adding beauty and strength to the whole.

The most poignant moments come in the quiet, unexpected ones—when one of us chooses to share a fear or a dream, not knowing how it will be received, and the other responds with nothing but acceptance and love.

These are the moments when we realize that nurturing our relationship means creating a space where we can be our true selves, where the fear of failure or rejection no longer holds sway.
This journey isn't without its thorns.

There are days when old fears resurface, tempting us to revert to the safety of control.

But we've learned to recognize these moments for what they are: opportunities to choose a different path, to water our garden with compassion and empathy, and to trust in the natural unfolding of our love.

Our story is a testament to the power of vulnerability in transforming relationships.

It's a reminder that while control might offer the illusion of safety, it's in the letting go, in the trusting, that we find the truest, most nourishing form of connection.

As Andrea and I continue to walk this path, we do so knowing that the strength of our bond lies in our willingness to be open, to share our true selves, and to embrace the beauty of becoming, together.
To anyone navigating the complexities of love, let our journey be a reminder that the richest relationships are those cultivated with patience, understanding, and an open heart.

They remind us that in the garden of love, the most beautiful blooms are those that grow freely.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I was talking with my beautiful girlfirend, Andrea Bangerter about this topic. Do we love more deeply when we stop keeping score?

In exploration of our relationship, We've unearthed a fundamental truth: when service is rendered with the expectation of receiving something in return, it transforms the relationship into a transactional one, a tit-for-tat scenario.

Reflecting on my own relationships, I've witnessed how this mentality breeds a scorekeeping dynamic, stripping the connection of its genuine warmth.

Imagine a relationship as a melody composed not of notes of equal length and pitch, but of varying rhythms and harmonies.

True service in a relationship is akin to playing this melody with love, not for applause.

History and culture teach us that relationships thrive not on an exact tally of who did what, but on the free-flowing exchange of care and support.

Isn't it possible that the strength of a relationship lies not in keeping a ledger, but in the joy of giving and receiving without tallying scores?

In a healthy relationship, actions done out of love naturally create a cycle of mutual edification, where both partners are uplifted.

The reciprocity in such relationships is not measured or exact but is often felt in diverse and profound ways.

In our relationships, are we keeping a mental scorecard, or are we engaging in acts of love that naturally foster mutual growth and enrichment?

What is the true essence of a relationship?

Andrea, my partner of six months, and I are living this question.
Our journey is more than shared words; it's shared lives, shared dreams, shared struggle
s.
Isn't it intriguing how many singles can paint vivid pictures of what the ideal relationship looks like?

Yet, true understanding of relationship blooms only when theory intertwines with practice. That's where the rubber meets the road.

In our togetherness, every discussion about life, our beliefs, and perceptions becomes a brushstroke on a vast canvas. We are co-creating our partnership, and every agreement and disagreement, every similarity, and every difference becomes a color to choose from.

Are relationships just a set of theories, or are they crafted in the forge of everyday life?

Are they built on the field of life, one day at a time?

We have navigated differences, are healing past wounds, and have embraced our individual journeys within this shared one.

It's in these moments, these acts, that the true character of a relationship is revealed.

How do you show up in your relationships?

Our story is evidence of the power of blending the philosophical ideals with the rawness of practical application.

Relationships, I've learned, are not static theories or ideals, but dynamic realities, shaped by every small act of kindness and understanding.

Let this be a call to explore not just the concept of love, but the practice of it.

Relationships are our most profound teachers, revealing our true selves through the way we love and live together.

In essence, relationships are a journey of being, in all its beautiful complexity.

They challenge us, change us, and ultimately, reveal the depth of our character.

Hey, Giants. We just wanted to let you know that there won't be a show tonight, but we'll be back on the 14th. So tune in next week, and every other week thereafter 💙

We are looking for guests on our newest talk show/podcast "The Giant Love Chronicles"

💙 People who have turned their marriages around
❤️ Couples and Marriage and Family Counselors and Therapists
🧡 Chefs and cooks
💚 Romance and dating experts
💛 Sexperts
💜 Experts on Obstacles Singles face
💙 Divorce Coaches or Experts
❤️ Relationship Authors and Show Hosts
🧡 Abandonment, Neglect, and Trauma Experts
💚 Attorneys Pre and post-relationship
💛 Relationship Historians
💜 Relationship podcast hosts and influencers
💚 Vacations on a low budget
💛 Financial experts in relationship
🧡 Relationships and technology
💚 and people you would like to learn from when it comes to relationship

Please comment with their information and we will invite them to be a guest on our show...

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The Giant Love Chronicles The Giant Love Chronicles: Where Love Begins and Mends

Relationships will bring up things you will never experience while single and its an awesome opportunity for growth and learning. In this video, I navigate relationship dynamics using the 12 Journeys framework. What is your biggest realization from this. Comment below.

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