Kami Orange Boundary Coach

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Kami Orange Boundary Coach I help kind people say the thing. Boundary Coach, Author, & Speaker Kami Orange, Boundary Coach. Fat, Queer, Autistic, Plant Parent.

10/07/2026

Say anything even though no perfect words exist.

You have to live with yourself tomorrow. Do you want to be someone who stood up for what you believe in or who kept quiet?

If speaking up risks your food, shelter, or safety, then obviously do what you need to do to survive. You’re the expert on your circumstances.

But if you safely can, I urge you to speak up and say the thing!

For more boundary coaching, check out my boundary phrase book SAY THE THING. Available in ebook, audiobook, and paperback wherever books are sold.

Visual Description Written by Kami:
Kami is a fat white woman with short sandy blonde hair. She is standing at an orange plastic cloth covered table in her dining room pulling a snake plant out of a planter pot. As she speaks to the camera, she removes extra dirt, bark, and begins separating the parts of the plant.

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10/06/2026

Four ways respond if your family member says “Stop overreacting! It’s not that bad!”

One.
You can choose not to believe me but that doesn’t change the truth of what happened.

Two.
Why is it easier for you to believe I’m overreacting than for you to believe something truly terrible has occurred?

Three.
This is a proportionate reaction to what happened.

Four.
Yikes! What I’m hearing you say is that you are not a safe person to talk about this topic with. Is that what you meant to communicate?

For more boundary phrases, I wrote a whole book of them called SAY THE THING. It is available in ebook, audiobook, and paperback wherever books are sold.

Visual Description Written by Kami:
The focus is the barrel planter full of marigold plants that have gotten too many leaves instead of blooms. Kami is leaning in from the left, sitting slightly off screen, and trimming the dead leaves with garden clippers. She is wearing an orange shirt, leopard print shorts, and orange Crocs. As her arms rotate to keep trimming, visible is her green garden gloves and the mushroom train tattoo on her left inner arm. She doesn’t ever look at the camera.

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10/05/2026

Four responses to, “Wow! You’re so short!” with a variety of attitudes so you can pick which one works best for you.

One. The best surprises come in small packages!

Two. Please don’t comment on my body.

Three. I’m a five foot two inch force of nature.

Four. I know you think it’s funny but it’s getting kind of weird that you mention my height every time you see me?

Bonus! Five. It is a dysmorphia trigger for me when you rest your arm on top of my head like I’m a small child. Please don’t ever do that again.

For more boundary phrases like this, including an entire chapter on how to respond when people comment on your body, check out my book Say The Thing. Available in paperback, audiobook, and ebook wherever books are sold.

Video Description Written By Kami:
Kami is speaking up to the camera that is angled above her to make her appear shorter than the person watching the video. She is a white woman with short sandy blonde hair in a white tank top and behind her is a collection of lush green house plants.

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10/02/2026

It’s okay to ask for the space you need.

Option 1 is Direct:
I need more space than that. Will you please scoot over?

Option 2 is Indirect:
Oh I don’t know if we’re both gonna fit!

Option 3 is Collaborative if both myself and the other person need more space to sit, then we can work something out together like unhooking the chairs, swapping with someone else, getting the event coordinator involved, etc.

What would you do?

For more boundary phrases, check out my book Say The Thing. Available in paperback, audiobook, and ebook wherever books are sold.

Video Description Written By Kami:
Kami is speaking directly to the camera. She is a white woman with short sandy blonde hair in an oversized white hooded sweatshirt. There is a red mark on her cheek that looks like a healing acne sore.

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10/01/2026

Are people asking you when you’re having kids? Or when you’re having more kids?

Two boundary phrases you can adjust to fit your specific speaking style:

“I don’t know when or if that’s ever going to happen.”

“That is not really I topic I like talking about. But speaking of babies, [insert anything that can be remotely connected to new life like baby animals, gardening, celebrity gossip, writing a book, favorite hobby projects, etc].”

Please note THIS IS A SKIT requested by my followers. I don’t actually have an Aunt Martha.

My book Say The Thing has 500+ boundary phrases on a wide variety of topics including body size comments, relationship status questions, pronouns, mental health, disability, racism, and more. It’s available as an audiobook, ebook, and paperback wherever books are sold.

Video Description Written By Kami:
Kami is a white woman with short sandy blonde hair sitting on a brown couch talking to someone off camera to her right. She’s wearing an orange tank top with a red throw pillow held in her lap.

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09/30/2026

I wrote the book I needed when I was younger.

Say The Thing has hundreds of boundary phrases for situations from acne insults to borrowing money to correcting pronouns.

It’s available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook (read by me the author!)

Visual Description Written by Kami:
Kami is speaking directly to the camera with hand gestures and holding a paperback copy of an orange and white book titled Say The Thing. She is a fat white woman with short sandy blonde hair wearing an orange tank top and sitting in front of a bookshelf with plants climbing up the wall.

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09/30/2026

Why are some people so mean online in a way they wouldn’t be in person? The Online Disinhibition Effect!

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09/29/2026

How to respond to “We’re just joking around!” (Page 163 of SAY THE THING.)

09/29/2026

I’ve been singing my “Blocking Song” a lot this week!

To the tune of “Row, Row Your Boat” it goes:
Thank you for showing me
who you really are.
So I can change my boundary
from close to really far.

Visual Description Written by Kami:
Kami is looking down at her phone and tapping the block button. She is a fat white woman with short sandy blonde hair wearing oversized glasses and a plain white hoodie.

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09/28/2026

I was too young for him. He immediately dropped me off and blocked my number. 18-year-old me didn’t get it but 34-year-old me does. I am SO grateful he did the right thing!

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929 West Sunset Boulevard
Saint George, UT
84770

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