SalliAnne Maliguine, Coach

New post for my friends in leadership. Can you help me?

Can you help me? Help—Your Leadership Superpower

Let's talk about sarcasm.

This morning, I’m thinking about the people who like to claim "I'm fluent in sarcasm," as if it’s something to be proud of.

But is it, really?

Merriam-Webster defines sarcasm as “a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain.”

Now, don't get me wrong, I love satire.

And irony.

But when people say they're fluent in sarcasm they're really saying they're skilled at making others feel bad, and that’s not something to be proud of at all.

When someone tells me they’re fluent in sarcasm, I often wonder if they're really trying to say they are witty.

Last week, I spoke with several people who have experienced sarcastic little jabs and cruel remarks without realizing their impact until later.

When a hurtful comment is made, they often brush it off.

But it doesn't stay off.

The comment comes back.

And it lingers.

One person I spoke with is still carrying the impact of sarcastic remarks from a friendship that has lasted decades.

By not telling others that sarcasm and cutting comments are unwelcome, we are training others to continue hurting us.

Why do we let these things slide?

Largely because it seems silly to make a big deal out of it.

It's just easier to tolerate it.

Let it pass.

This is why I created a short (under five minute) audio recording demonstrating how I'd handle a verbal jab.

In the moment.

So it's dealt with, gracefully, and you don't have to let it linger.

And you also don't have to fly off the handle or be a jerk about it.

If you’d like it, just follow this link to purchase it >>>https://sallianne.samcart.com/products/slay-sarcasm

Meantime, generally speaking, you're invited to take a moment today to reflect on this question:

What are you tolerating?

Send a message and let me know.

I love hearing from you.

Enjoy the journey,
SalliAnne "I don't speak sarcasm" Maliguine

https://sallianne.samcart.com/products/slay-sarcasm

Hear Me Out It's World Listening Day.

Sweet and genuine unofficial West Campus High School's Sr. Class Slide Show, made by one of my favorite of Samantha's longtime friends, Danica Catral.

It's a 13 minute watch that goes by in the span of a hot second, and an interesting lens on what high school looked like for pandemic teens.

This is the time of year when I get mushy over graduation speeches and this creative offering is going down in my book of "well saids".

Proud of this girl.

Proud of these kids.

They're simply the best.

P.S. This is a time when parents and students alike are experiencing all the feels. If this is you, here's a 10 minute meditation I made that might help. I made this for one of my clients, she asked me to send it to her, I've shared it with my email list, and people seem to really like it. >> https://drive.google.com/file/d/1CG9S2qGSxFweko7V6R2dN5Bxv7yBpgXE/view?usp=sharing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTuh2YIhhpo

Class of 2024 UNOFFICIAL Senior Slideshow HERE IS THE UNOFFICIAL SENIOR SLIDESHOW WARRIORS🚨🚨 unfortunately this video will not be shown tomorrow during the senior awards ceremony, i am sorry to be...

I took my youngest thrifting on Monday.

The shop she wanted to visit, Eco Thrift in Sacramento, which is like the Costco of thrift stores, had a storewide 50% off sale.

When we arrived, we saw crowds of people leaving with bags full of items, mostly clothing.

Every parking spot was taken.

We circled the lot for a few minutes and eventually parked at the Denny's across the street.

Inside, it felt like a swarm of locusts had descended.

Shelves were emptying quickly, but workers were constantly restocking them.

We stood still in the warehouse full of items that people had let go of, while others were unsure if they wanted them.

This got me thinking about space.

If you've followed my coaching for a while, you know I believe we need to make space in our lives for the things we want to come to us.

The looks on the faces of the shoppers were unforgettable—desperate, vacant, searching.

It was a bit like a Black Friday event.

People were willing to climb over each other, searching for something outside themselves to fill a void or meet a need.

I found myself wondering where everyone was taking all this stuff.

Maybe they had empty drawers at home that needed filling, or perhaps they were buying these items to resell them elsewhere.

The prices were really great, after all.

I saw a pair of brand new white Converse shoes for $10, size 7.5.

I thought about buying them, but the line wrapped around the store and I didn't have the energy to stand in it.

What does it look like to make space for something new in your life?

Are you too busy for something new?

Can you fit your car in the garage?

How does your pantry look?

What are you thinking about most of the time?

What do you have too much of?

Where is there not enough?

What are you doing with your one wild and precious life?

Hit reply and let me know, I love hearing from you.

Enjoy the journey,
SalliAnne "where does it all fit" Maliguine

P.S. This won't be for everyone, but if there's space in your life for a partner and you've been doing the work on your own to attract happy, healthy love without success, the one spot I have for 1:1 coaching might be right for you. DM to schedule a free relationship consultation and let's see if we're a good fit to work together.

I had a session with a client yesterday who retired in December.

I asked how retirement's working for her, and she responded "What retirement?"

Turns out she took on an unpaid role working 70 hours a week for her church.

This was far from what she envisioned for her retirement.

The church was on the brink of failing a project, and they desperately needed her expertise.

I asked her if this pattern of taking on others' burdens was a recurring theme in her life.

How does she keep finding herself in such situations?

Turns out she believes deeply in sacrifice, thinking it's her purpose in life, to put others before herself.

Very noble. And I admire her. But---

I also wondered whether she truly believes it's her divine purpose to bear everyone else's burdens alone.

Is she really the only one chosen for this?

She mentioned Mother Theresa as an example of sacrifice.

I pointed out an often overlooked part of her story: Mother Theresa died a bitter woman.

Was it worth it?

Perhaps, but that is not for me to know.

We landed on an inquiry for my client to contemplate - what is her specific calling, when it comes to sacrifice?

Maybe it's not so much to sacrifice her own self, but to teach others how to support their communities healthily, without bitterness.

Why am I sharing this story with you?

As a coach, I can't dictate my clients' path but I can partner with them so they can find it.

Are you on the right path?

How do you know?

If you're exhausted, resentful, feeling like a victim, or generally unhappy, these are all signs you're off track.

The right next step might look like something you've tried before, but slightly differently.

In our "Calling in 'The One'" book study group, we offer a proven process that helps participants create a customized list of actions and mindsets.

This process guides you to identify exactly what you need to change to achieve your goals.

It's incredibly freeing, and hopeful.

This was the product of last night's meeting, Week Four of the book study.

We actually got to experience what it is like to be deeply seen and feel loved, the kind of love that embodies safety and well-being.

And today, we are all walking lighter.

Happier.

Healthier.

We're showing up differently, and getting different results.

It's an almost imperceptible shift.

The work we've done to get to this place was not easy.

But feeling really good, now, is.

Easy, that is.

And if you're like my other client from yesterday, and you repeatedly find yourself hoodwinked into situations that leave you feeling obligated, overburdened, suffering and alone, this book study is probably for you.

The best part is not having to go at this alone.

My next "Calling in 'The One'" book study begins in about a month.

We'll meet weekly for 9 weeks, starting June 3, Mondays, 7 pm - 8:30 pm PST.

If you want to become a magnet for happy healthy love, if you are ready to make your life easier, just let me know.

I'm assembling a group of phenomenal humans who want to feel like I do today, and this might be the right place for you.

Enjoy the journey,
SalliAnne "life is easy, love just flows" Maliguine