My Teacher, Miriam.

I know I haven't been here in a while, but it is only that I have been focusing on learning from my loves, and doing so while surfing endless waves of pain - it's been a hard year physically for me, things are changing - it is the only true universal constant beside wonder. Ever changing, ever wondrous. Life is. We are. So be.

It has been a rough 10 months for this student. The Summer was not the relief it was hoped to be either and my teacher wound up very frustrated as she was a bit lonely, bored, and scared. It is never easy when your mom can't do anything because she is sick, in extra pain, and even hospitalized!
Even as her worry and boredom mounted, my teacher Miriam still showed that you can be upset, frustrated, even angry, without violence towards others. You can cry, even yell, but there is no need for hitting and hurting others. Something we all knew at an early age and many forgot, gave up on, or decided they didn't want to remember.
Young children are at their core, sensitive, caring, empathetic creatures, and if we all nurture and employ that side of ourselves, it will continue to grow with us! It is also our responsibility to make sure that our actions and meanings are CLEAR and understood. Never assume it is clear and never assume it's okay. It might be for you, but assumptions are always a mistake. They are also always unfair. We adults like to lecture children and say, " did you ask first? what did they say? " etc. when they do things that are assumptive, like just TAKING a toy or food or anything else. We expect children to "do as we say" but to never "do as we do". Double standards are so painful and do nothing but generate repression and resentment.
So yes, I did my best to explain to a 7 year old that her Mommy was very sick, had big owies inside, needed lots of medicine and rest, and NONE of that was her fault, her responsibility, nor did she deserve what she got, which was lots of lonely boredom, missed chances to go play, be outside, etc. I made sure to remind her that she was super loved, she deserved better just because she was a living, loving, human being. and that I was sorry my health had hurt her. You bet I apologized to my little girl. Her forgiveness, smiles, hugs, and gentle pats, were the best medicine I could have ever gotten!
Did I make myself sick? no. Did I ask to be sick? no. Should I feel guilty about being ill or hospitalized? No. But that doesn't mean that I didn't need to apologize for causing an innocent little girl some heartache.
I wish more people considered others as much as she does, and as much as I try to continue to do. The world would probably be a more conscious and caring place if we did.

Here is to feeling better, caring about how our lives, good or bad, effect the lives of those around us, and empathetic growth!

Remember, we all wince in pain as we rise from the darkness into the brighter light, but it passes and we adapt to embrace it and love the warmth it brings!

Join TEAM MIGHTY MIRCATS!!! It is never too late to join and help us raise funds for kids like My Teacher, MIRIAM, who lead amazing lives and are themselves, amazing people... they just happen to have an extra chromosome! Http://Bit.ly/MirCats - JOIN OUR TEAM TODAY!!!

6 more days until the Columbus Buddy Walk is here! Today is Team Member Monday!

Today’s Challenge: Invite others to join your walk team! The more the merrier! The team captain whose team recruits the most new members online tonight by 11:59pm will win 2 Mike’s Hard Lemonade Tailgate Chairs.

As soon as we came home with Miriam, and we began to take care of her every need all on our own, I realized that... here was a tiny human being. She was "at my mercy", day in, day out, for the unknown and unforeseeable future. My mercy. THAT is actually scary as hell and yet, as her mother, it made me instantly wake up and focus on trying to discover just what she wanted, what she needed, and doing for her in the least aggressive and most considerate way possible.

You might be saying ... "Well Duh! She was an infant." but it is so much more than the standard rules for "when a baby cries do this or that". I found myself explaining everything I was doing to help her, even at 1 week old. If you have never been truly helpless and at the mercy of a larger, more powerful person, maybe you can't understand, but TRY. Please?

Some people think it's insane to say, " can mama change your diaper now? " to a newborn, but when you hear that question, daily, and more just like it, I think it sets a great foundation for personal boundaries and it teaches respect. Now I know an infant can not give consent, but it is wonderful practice for a new parent and will cement in their minds if they repeat it at every diaper change, bath, clothing change, etc. so that by the time the child understands "yes" & "no" and starts asserting their self they know that you DO want an answer and you should let them say "no" and RESPECT THAT.

Now, do I let my child sit in a soiled diaper ALL DAY because she said "NO!" at changing time? No. What I did was help her understand what happens if we do not change to dry diapers/underwear. As soon as she was able, we encouraged her to take her own underpants off when she felt "wet", and tell us, then we helped her learn to step in and pull up. Same with clothes. They have to be allowed to say NO, and have you RESPECT that answer. When Miriam says NO. I stop asking or begging ;) her to put clothes on. We keep our blinds closed, and she does not go outside unless she has a top, a bottom, and shoes on because we are in a public apartment complex. If she refuses to dress fully, that is fine, but when she tries to open blinds or go on the patio, we say No, and explain that we don't go out in our underwear, or naked, or etc. Not everyone wants to see our b***y! :D So she has to choose - dress & go out, or keep being undressed inside where she has PRIVACY. So far, it works beautifully and though she still tries from time to time to go out half or all naked (Nekkid! LOL!) we keep re-iterating that not everybody wants to see us without clothes on, so we RESPECT THEM by wearing at least a top and some kind of bottom (or a dress yes). We respect ourselves too, by keeping some things to ourselves and not flashing the world, w***y nilly. As we get older, we choose who gets to touch us, who gets to SEE all of us, etc. I'm so glad this is the path I have taken. I want her to feel in control of her own body as often as possible. To know that she can say NO and it needs to be respected. Anyone who does NOT respect her NO is doing a bad thing and we must defend ourselves, tell a parent, tell a teacher, and loudly say NO! That is the right of EVERY PERSON, regardless of gender, color, ethnicity, creed, etc! I am also hoping that she realizes she owes NOBODY, not even me, a YES just because of who they are! No one has the right to expect or demand a YES to ANY act, request, or demand!

Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent, and Respect It's important for kids to understand that bodies have boundaries, and that everyone has a right to their own personal space. Jayneen Sanders, an experienced early years educator, provides simple and familiar scenarios — from giving a hug to pushing to get to the front of a line &mdash...

I owe my favorite instructor a huge apology. Miss Miriam? I am so sorry I have not written about what I have learned from you in a very long time. Momma has been in tons of pain, flaring constantly and shoving through each day, or more like "SLOGGING" uphill in the snow and ice, but I wanted you to have as much activity out of the house as possible this Summer! I promise I will share our wonderful explorations and eye-openings more now that you are safely enjoying your first year as a full public school student! Hooray for Kindergarten!

You might have noticed, my teacher was born with Trisomy 21. A genetic condition commonly called "Down Syndrome". With selfish people in the world, like the so called scientist, Richard Dawkins, running his mouth, we need to promote REAL understanding of what DS really is, and how amazing these people are who live with it, and still bring MOUNTAINS of JOY and BEAUTY into this world of ours. Have I ever cried over my baby girl and her health? YES. Have I cried in fear? ONLY of what this wretched "civilization" we have neglected will do to her, NOT out of misery or even unhappiness that SHE CAUSED. This girl has never once caused me direct harm or unhappiness. Frustration? Sure - but that is MY SHORTCOMING, not hers. Misery? NEVER. When you create a new human being, and you LOVE that new life, you LOVE all the ups and downs that come with it ... no matter what they may be. No new life ever causes unhappiness... it is only our own misunderstandings, shortcomings, or downright selfishness that hurts us in the end.

Miriam didn't have to teach me this one, but she has definitely reminded me every day, how marvelous it can be, is, and should always be when we love kids JUST AS THEY ARE, for WHO THEY ARE, without taking any credit for ourselves! Let them be, praise them for who THEY are, and extol how amazing THEY are, but take no credit for yourself. Guiding them through right and wrong, good and bad, isn't you MAKING them a person... you're there to help the person they already ARE.

The mighty Miriam is the perfect mirror. When she's watching a show or music video and she gets excited, her reactions go from "hi" to " 1.21 gigawatts!!!??? " circa Dr. Emmett Brown from BTTF in 0.6 seconds flat!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I may resemble this remark! 🤡😻

10,000 times, YES!

There are some children who are born into the world with the incredible life-gift of a strong will and an indomitable spirit.

These children are often deeply misunderstood, and there are rows of books lining bookstore shelves with instructions about how to break their will, how to subdue their spirit, how to force their obedience. What an incredible loss of leadership, passion, and insight this world suffers when parents follow these punitive parenting practices.

Not only can we parent these gifted children with gentleness and respect, but the gifts we get in return are priceless.

The key to preserving your trust relationship with your child is remaining calm and present and supportive, even while setting and maintaining reasonable boundaries.

It is helpful to remember that the most strong-willed children tend to be the ones who identify the most strongly with their parents.

So instead of viewing their seemingly constant challenges as defiance or attempts to thwart authority, work to parent from a place of understanding that your strong-willed child is actually on a discovery mission and is doing endless ‘research’ on you by testing and retesting and digging and chiseling to discover all of your quirks and foibles and ups and downs and strengths and weaknesses.

This kind of testing isn’t negative unless you make it into a battle of wills instead of responding with gentle, respectful guidance.

Taking this stance will help you to keep from seeing the challenges as personal insults and, instead, see the challenges as attempts to learn and grow and understand.

There is no doubt, though, that parenting a child with the gift of a strong will is a constant exercise in patience and self-regulation.

The personal growth you will experience is invaluable as you seek to parent with empathy and wisdom and compassion, but it can be draining and will often stretch you far, far out of your comfort zone.

Knowing that and being prepared for it will help you cope with the inevitable stresses, and being ready ahead of time with some specific strategies for handling the challenges will help you to respond calmly and effectively.*
-L.R.Knost

*Excerpt from The Gift of a Strong-Willed Child: http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/2013/11/29/the-gift-of-a-strong-willed-child/

📷 .parenting 💞

__________________________________

🌻peaceful parenting resources: http://t.co/T8goym3P6Z 🌻
__________________________________
Please respect the work of authors, photographers, and artists. You are welcome to share provided you include appropriate credit and do not crop out author’s names from quote memes. Thank you. 🙂

www.LRKnost.com

Fighting a rare, incurable cancer, but I'm still here!💞 L.R.

Always!

'Two Thousand Connection Points a Day: Attachment Parenting Beyond Infancy' http://www.littleheartsbooks.com/2013/12/26/two-thousand-connection-points-a-day/