South Bay Mommy and Me

Grateful for my family, my friends, and the work I am blessed to do. 💜

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As a reminder, I don’t post parenting content on this account anymore. If you’re here for my teachings, please follow 💗

Absolutely in love with every one of these gorgeous photos by my amazingly talented friend

Congrats to our recent group of graduates! I especially loved bonding with this group. They really took the time and attention to hear each other, understand each other, and spend time with each other, and it shows. As a group, practically all of us are continuing on to Toddler.

I love building this community of mindful and intentional parents in the south bay.

We have a few spots left for our current groups. Enrollment is open. Groups start the week of 3/29.

Check out our website to enroll!

Happy new year to all of our amazing SB families! Congrats to our recent grads: Nov/Dec ‘20 Babies! I am so honored to have spent an entire year with you, encouraging you in your motherhood journey.

We have ONLY A FEW SPOTS LEFT in our current Mommy & Me and Toddler & Me offerings. If you have a baby birth-24 months and you’re looking for a supportive, educational, and warm environment for you and your child to thrive, we are here for you.

Please note: all of our classes are currently in-person. For the week of Jan 3rd, we will be doing virtual classes to give our community a chance to recover from the holiday surge. Our plan is to get back to fully in-person by next week. We will keep you posted. Check your emails.

For those of you who want virtual: WE HEAR YOU. We are going to put together a virtual offering for birth-12months and 12-24 months. We are securing the details and will announce once available. Get on the waitlist if you’re interested so you can be the first to know.

If you are here for my teachings, please follow as this page was permanently banned from growth a year ago after I posted a photo of my long-haired toddler son with his shirt off. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Wishing you all a bountiful and abundant start to your new year. Many blessings upon you.

With love and joy,
Bryana

📸 credit:

These are the people who make it happen.

At South Bay Mommy & Me (and in our small private therapy practice) we serve over 200 families a week here in the South Bay.

I love my team. Not only are they each incredible clinicians (and Kylee being the best, most organized admin I’ve ever known), they are beautiful people. Big hearts. Wise souls.

We will continue to expand ourselves so we can continue to help you grow with your families. So much love to you and your family from all of us at SBMM:

Bryana, owner & CEO
Kylee, manager
Amber, instructor and therapist
Sherry, instructor and therapist
Vanessa, instructor and therapist
Abby, therapist

If you’re here for my teachings, please follow me on

To all of the amazing families who we serve at South Bay Mommy and Me:

YOU are my why.
And I am grateful for each and every one of you.
Not just in this holiday season,
But all throughout the year.

Being able to accompany you during the most important stage of your life journey - your transition into motherhood - is not a role I take lightly.

You inspire me.
I love learning with each of you.
And from the bottom of my heart,
I freaking love you all.

If you’re here for my teachings, please follow as I am no longer using my SBMM handle for my teachings. This handle is to celebrate the moms in our incredible LA South Bay community.

💜xxoo

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If this photo doesn’t sum up toddlers in their beautiful essence, I don’t know what does.

I am so blessed to have an amazing friend and photographer capture all of the amazing memories we’re making at South Bay Mommy and Me! Thank you! And a big congrats to the Aug-Dec 19 Toddlers on your recent graduation!

We have a few spots left in our Mommy and Me classes. Link is in the bio to see if there’s an opening for your age group.

See you in group!

My child was having a tantrum over wearing a ‘nighttime’ diaper. It’s been quite the ordeal getting this child into pull-ups, and toilet learning is just not of any interest in this house, so him wanting to wear a ‘nighttime’ diaper felt like a big step in the ‘wrong’ direction, away from the ‘goal’ of ‘toilet learning’. Of course, as I type this, I realize how absolutely absurd that sounds, but whatever, this was the feeling in the moment.

So of course, a tantrum ensued when I told him he could not wear his nighttime diaper. He doesn’t understand my ‘rules’ here. To him, my rules are arbitrary. He simply wants to wear what makes him feel comfortable. The problem here is not his frustration, anger, or his outburst over my rule. The problem lies in my knee-jerk reaction to assert my rule without first exploring the meaning behind all of this.

So when I reflected back: You see Giovanni wearing diapers, and I think you like all the warmth and pleasure that comes from watching him get his diaper changed.

Yes, mommy, I want to be like Giovanni. I want to wear diapers and be just like him.

Yes, my love. I understand. And guess what? Your pull-ups are diapers. They’re just put on differently but they function the same.

So I’m still in diapers?

Yes, my love, you are still in diapers.

Okay, I feel better mommy.

A little reassurance and willingness to see beyond the behavior goes a long way for our little loves.

If you’re a SB local, come to group! Link in bio!
Follow for new mom, infant, and toddler stuff.
Follow for all things conscious parenting related.

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Thoughts?

It’s okay to not be okay. That’s something I remind myself often. I, like many of you, grew up in a house where crying was not only discouraged, it was unacceptable. Crying was not a way to garner sympathy or connection. In fact, it was the complete opposite. Crying was exactly what you did when you wanted to be alone.

Times were different then. We didn’t know the long term impact of chronically dismissing the internal experience of another. But now we do.

Every time we dismiss a child’s experience, we set them up to have to choose between trusting us or trusting themselves. Let’s say Matteo wiped out on the concrete. He comes running to me and is crying.

I can either say: “Oh stop crying, you’re fine, go play,” which will teach him to ignore his internal cues in favor of mine. This creates a pattern of codependency, one where the child learns to sacrifice his own inner knowing to appease the parent. When this child becomes an adult, he will most likely struggle with relationships due to the deeply conditioned belief that others know him better than he does.

Or, I can respond: “Yikes, that was scary. I’m here to help,” which will teach him that he can trust his internal cues simply because I validated his experience. I see his experience as true, which confirms for the child that even when I have this scary moment, my parent sees it and doesn’t abandon me - or worse, make me abandon myself.

I teach more on this subject in my groups. Link in bio for classes currently enrolling.
Follow for all things new moms, infants, and toddlers
Follow for conscious parenting

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Thoughts?

Growing up, my parents were distracted. What parent doesn’t have some distraction, right? But not like today’s parents. I was scanning through old family videos, and came across this gem of a memory. It was my birthday - maybe my 8th or so? We were at my nana’s dining room table. I was surrounded by generations of grandparents, Godparents, my parents, siblings.

All eyes were on me as I opened the gift I dreamed for: Susie Stretch. With wonder, the family exclaimed. Everyone matched my level of interest and excitement. The video goes on for several minutes, showing family members giving me their time, their presence, and their affection.

When my son opened his Christmas gifts last year, our family was several hours late. They watched half-heartedly as they scrolled their phones. Or maybe disrupted his interest by getting in his face with their phones. And then he was blamed for not being able to stay regulated. The environment was anything but regulating. It was chaos.

Because of a device designed to distract us, with hopeful intentions to connect us, but ultimately keeping us disconnected.

Parents look to me for answers. They say: “How do you magically calm children around you?”
It’s not magic. It’s simple. In the moment, when a child is distressed, I pause and offer 3 critical things:

My time,
My presence,
My affection.

When a child is joyfully playing, I pause and offer 3 critical things:

My time,
My presence,
My affection.

That’s the message parents. This will make your life easier, easier than any helpful script or to-do you might come across.

Follow for parenting infants & toddlers
Follow for all things conscious parenting

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Thoughts?

Several years after my mother had passed, I sat down and had a conversation with my father. I tried to discuss the physical and emotional violence we were subjected to for many years with my mom, but her own childhood wounds and traumas ran far too deep for her to engage in a healthy discussion with me.

So, I attempted the discussion with my father. I asked him: Why didn’t you stop it, dad? Surely you saw it.

My dad snapped back: You kids were bad! You deserved every one of those beatings!

I have forgiven my father for his lack of protection. AND, I’m still processing this idea that we were ‘Bad kids’.

What is a bad kid? Is a bad kid a child who resists a parent’s control? Is a bad kid a child who triggers a parent’s insecurities? Is a bad kid one who marches to the beat of their own drum?

I think it’s tough to define bad kids without looking at poor parenting practices, to be perfectly honest with you. It’s not accurate to say that kids are bad. It IS accurate to say that many parents are not equipped to manage the typical feelings & notions of childhood, especially if they were raised in emotionally immature environments (which they most likely were).

Children are inherently good. And how we characterize them will then determine whether or not this future adult believes that they are bad or good.

I believe the learning starts with us. We must actively unlearn these social stigmas about children “Needing to listen”, “Needing to obey”, “Needing to be seen, not heard.” These anti-child views only put a wedge between us and our kids.

Instead, we must actively relearn the truth about children’s psychological functioning, which is this:

When we listen to them, they listen to us.
When we honor their needs, they cooperate much more easily.
When we see AND hear their wishes, they feel safe and protected.

Repeat after me: There Are No Bad Kids.

✅Come to group
✅For birth-5 info, follow
✅For conscious parenting, follow

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Thoughts?

If you're tired of acting like a control-freak, check out my new blog post on why we need to trade control for trust.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments.

Control vs Trust — Conscious Mommy Conscious parenting perspective on why you should stop controlling your children and start trusting them.