Coaching with Jess

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I started a new series about Following Your Dreams when you have ADHD.

When You Follow Your Dreams When You Have ADHD - Part 1 It is not easy to follow your dreams. The path can be scary, arduous and seem impossible. So we're gonna talk about it. I'm re-reading a book called "The Dre...

https://www.jessdubose.com/blog/grieving-through-an-adhd-diangnosis

There's even a way to listen to me read you the blog post if that's more your speed. 😍

I Have ADHD, Now What?: The Stages of Grief Through an Adult ADHD Diagnosis — Jess DuBose You have ADHD. Congratulations! This is a BIG fu***ng deal and worthy of celebrating. It takes a lot of effort to navigate all of those things listed above particularly when you struggle with executive dysfunction. After talking to hundreds of ADHDers just like you, there seems to be two things h

"Why can't you just contact me once a day? Is that too much to ask?"

I found myself requesting this...again. Why was it so hard for them to do? Why couldn't we connect once a day just to check-in? Do they not love me enough? Am I being too much? Is this needy? Do they just not care?

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A common story. One I have lived through. And yet what's the answer?

For me, I was in "needy" energy. As much as it was a desire, I had made it an expectation, a demand. If they couldn't do this thing for me it meant that they didn't love me. I made up all kinds of stories in my mind about what their actions meant about who I was.

I was so attached to this idea of what a relationship (romantic or otherwise) looks like, that I couldn't be in collaboration to create what OUR relationship looked like.

Instead of sharing my desires with high intention, low attachment, I shared with the expectation that they would then do exactly as I wanted.

It had become an obligation, a demand.

Which has such a different energy than a request.

And what's so fascinating is that when I move from needy (high attachment) energy to low attachment energy, the thing that I DESIRE often SHOWS UP over and over again.

What resonated with you initially when you read the chart above? 👆

Every time I think I've "made it" a new layer of that thing is revealed

Each layer is more nuanced than the last

Living in the nuances baby! That's where my life is right now.

I love it and it annoys the f**k out of me all at the same time.

To quote my dear friend "On we grow!"

ATTENTION NEUROTYPICALS
aka non ADHDers

Time blindness is a REAL thing.

If there's someone in your life who keeps "messin' with your time" and is always late...

Pause

Rather than go off on this person calling them rude and inconsiderate, take a moment to think about this.

Have you ever gotten caught up in a project that you enjoyed and lost track of time?

Have you ever been having an amazing conversation with someone and three hours went by but it felt like thirty minutes?

This is what happens for ADHDers ALL DAY EVERYDAY!

2 minutes and three years are essentially the same for them. There really isn't a way for them to differentiate time.

Unless they are literally staring at a clock all day, they don't really experience the passage of time the same way we do.

So rather than jump into shaming this person for being late again...

Pause

Ask, "Is there a way I can support you in arriving on time? I know it's really important to me. I don't want to continue to hold anger and resentment toward you just because my relationship with time is different than yours. Is there a way I can help?"

They may not know how because it is likely they have never heard these beautiful words before.

You can work together to come up with a creative solution.

Or use some of the solutions in the pictures above ☝️

What does confidence mean to you?

What does it look like?

What does it sound like?

How does one with confidence hold themselves?

Do you know what it feels like?

These are questions I ask my clients to think about when I give them an exercise of "trying on" confidence.

ADHDers often are disconnected to their confidence because it has nearly been stamped out of them over the years.

..you're not good enough
..you're too hyper
..you're too disorganized
..you need to get your s**t together
Etc

It's time to reconnect with your confidence and put your flavor on it.

Weirdly enough, people stop second guessing you, when you stop second guessing yourself.

You get to...
🌟own your worth
🌟recognize your value
🌟hold your head high
🌟experience epic amounts of confidence

Because YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

If you want support in learning how to do this, I have THREE 1:1 coaching spots available and would love to connect with you to see if we are a good fit to work together.

"I Don't Hate My Ex-husband" was released two years ago today!

Happy Anniversary to me!

It's true, my former husband and I are friends. It's even mentioned on the last ADHD Roundtable since he was on it! (Link in bio)

This book was such a beautiful gift for me. It helped me move through and process my divorce and helped me learn to love myself.

Though I don't expressly talk about ADHD in the book, it is sprinkled throughout.

My former partner has ADHD and I definitely didn't fully appreciate or understand what that meant at the time.

So you can definitely read about the trials we had as a couple, one being neurodiverse and one being neurotypical.

I honestly recommend this book to anyone who has ever experienced being in a relationship. It brings perspective and you'll probably learn about yourself along the way.

Link in bio if interested ☝️

Who struggles with this?

As a coach, I guide ADHDers toward the lives they say they want.

When they are living freely, revenge bedtime procrastination is not a thing they deal with

Because when they choose to delay sleep, it's because they WANT to

NOT because their unconscious mind is fighting to do the things they really want to be doing.

They are already doing them.

I have three 1:1 coaching spots available.

If you are interested in leaning into the amazing parts of your ADHD and living life freely, type "ME" below 👇

I would love to connect to see if we are a f**k yes to work together!

FREE RESOURCES

I am consistently adding more and more resources to my website.

One of the things I have are some guided meditations.

☝️Link in Bio

The next ADHD Roundtable is in just a few days!

Check out our next panel:

Trina is an ADHDer who loves helping people be seen and empowered in their ADHD, she resides in Virginia. Trina and I recently did an IG live on ADHD Burnout. It's worth watching if you have yet to see it.

Morris is one of my dear friends who has probably taught me the most about ADHD simply by being closely connected for 10+ years. He is an epic human who embarks on varying entrepreneurial opportunities while currently residing in Georgia.

espina AnnMarie is a fellow ADHD coach who helps ADHD business owners stop the internal battle so they can finally have the success they know they have the potential to reach. She resides in Talum, Mexico.

👇What questions or topics would like to see discussed? 👇

Make sure to hit the reminder button!

We will be live on YouTube and would love for you to join is!

The sun came out! 🌞

It's been raining relentlessly in Portland. I am so grateful the sun came out to play while I was sitting outside reading.

I know life is lifey for many of you right now.

The sun will shine again.

While you are enduring, growing, lifing....

What is something you can do TODAY to fill your cup?

If you need support figuring that out, DM me.

Sending you so much love!