06/01/2026
Last full moon I set my intention on healing the part of me that was attracted to toxic relationships.
Last night at my Blue Moon ritual I felt the knowing that I had fully healed it... because I could finally, clearly see my contribution to the toxicity.
In my case I found it was caretaking my partner, and staying... after the violence... and yes, men get physically assaulted in relationships as well. Vicims are programed at birth, not weak... and we can easily rewire the program, but only after we see it.
The glitch in my system started at birth with a mother who dearly loved me, but didn't innerstand that her feelings came from inside her. That misunderstanding about life, caused circumstances that led me to believe it was my job to care for her emotions... and that they were all -my fault.
She didn't cause the malware in my system. I wrote the program way before I even overstood what life was about.
Once I grew up, I only felt comfortable around partners who acted like my mother and I felt comfortable caring for their volital emotions. It always felt safe, even tho it wasn't.
Normal... healthy relationships felt boring, and unattractive.
When I set my intention to see my part of this cycle, it only took a few days of meditation to realize that I felt safe having an unstable partner.
The dichotomy gave me a good valid excuse to fail at my business, and I could easily hide behind my broken partner while everyone watching thought I was a saint for doing it.
The realization hurt, it took time to heal. But I became aware of something amazing, that anyone out there looking for a mate needs to hear...
Before I saw the wounds causing the problems in my romantic relationships, I felt the absolute need for validation from my partners... the same validation I needed from my mother that she could never give to me. Neither could any of my partners...
I realized that every time I put my partners emotions, over my business and purpose... I lost respect and status as the hero to my partner and I instantly become the fool... she saw it, I simply couldn't stop doing it.
Finally innerstanding what was happening, healed the pain from the trauma of my past, and instantly I realized that I didn't need to forgive my exes for destroying my life and trying to murder me... because they didn't realize it was happening... and I had accidentally caused it all by loosing frame of my own life goals anyway...
I tried to be mad at myself... but I clearly had no idea what was going on the entire time, so instead... I simply allowed myself to heal inside. Completely, from all of it!
Now... I have no need for a partner, because I realized that I am the partner I've always been waiting for, my entire life!
I give myself everything I need, I am fully seen by myself, my entire story and every version of me has been heard by my own ears and every wrong has been witnessed... by my present self... right now, in this moment.
I do have a very strong desire for a healthy relationship because I have finally grown up enough to be in one!
But instead of desperately needing validation from a female to feel complete... I am now complete, on my own... and simply looking forward to meeting my Devine Spiritual Partner. The one that is completing herself and the one that I need to advance in my journey Spiritually to the next level.
I know she is meditating daily right now to manifest me, I feel her energy reaching out to me constantly.
This will be a safe love, one with deep roots where we can water each other daily and be a safe place for each other rest from battles, while we create a magical future reality with powerful s*x magic... because we both have done the inner work.
As we move closer each day I'm completely content to continue falling deeper in love with myself... because I am an amazing person to hang out with... I just had never noticed before because I was always too busy looking outside for my happiness.
Now I know that I create happiness -inside me. I also create unconditional love. An unlimited supply of both!
So if your loanly right now please know that this feeling is the healing process, pay attention to it, honor the emotions we pushed down in our past and let them heal.
Because the way we find a healthy partner is by becoming our own... once we figure that out, the field brings them into our reality -naturally.
I've been having mad synchronicities telling me it's already happening for me... so don't you give up, keep loving yourself and looking for your own broken parts and you will put yourself back together.
You are an amazing person in thousands of ways as well, so begin noticing them today and start your love story with yourself so you can stop chasing love in all the wrong places! LoL
If you feel you need help on this sacred journey, check out my new online group called The Balanced Life-Wheel Mastermind starting soOn at - www.Hack-Yourself.net
Here we learn to do real time shadow work, healing childhood trauma and changing life long patterns =one hour a week. Our goal is 1% growth in all areas every day. We do deep dives into all areas of our lives and learn healthy programs to create a life that naturally gets better and better each day!
Text 360.798.2184 for more details.
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