TCB Training

09/16/2025

🤎 One loyal friend…
And suddenly, the world feels quieter, softer, and a little less lonely.

Sometimes life doesn’t give us a person —
but someone with four legs, warm breath, and silent wisdom.
Someone who won’t betray.
Who won’t pretend, won’t judge, and won’t walk away.
Someone who simply stays — through your brightest days and your darkest nights.

Horses don’t speak, but they hear your heart.
They see the real you — with all your cracks and struggles — and still choose to stay.
Because their loyalty doesn’t need a reason.

And the truth is beautifully simple:
One loyal friend is worth a thousand fake ones.

09/09/2025

I DID NOT KNOW...

I did not know a horse could bring people into your life that end up meaning the most to you.
I did not know a horse could make the hardest days of your life bearable.
I did not know a horse could teach you to put others first.
I did not know a horse could remind you time and time again that your gut is always right.
I did not know a horse could break your heart.
I did not know a horse could pick you up when you have fallen apart.
I did not know a horse could teach you to dream again, after you thought it was not possible.
I did not know a horse could make you believe in yourself.
I did not know a horse could teach responsibility, work ethic, and dedication.
I did not know a horse could make you believe in something when no one else does.
I did not know a horse could make you learn to forgive and forget.
I did not know a horse could humble you faster than you can say humble.
I did not know a horse could make you a winner.
I did not know a horse could also teach you how to lose gracefully.
I did not know a horse could instill patience in you.
I did not know a horse could make you listen better.
I did not know a horse could give you their heart.
I did not know a horse could change your life.
I did not know a horse could do all these things...
but now I know.

by Alissa Kelly

https://www.facebook.com/alissa.burson?mibextid=ZbWKwL

Image - Charlie Mackesy

09/08/2025

Teenage Barn Drama: Zero Tolerance Policy in Effect 🚫

Let me be crystal clear about something: My barn is not a social experiment.

The drama I've witnessed:
- "She got to ride MY horse!" (it was a lesson horse!!)
- Cliques excluding other riders
- Gossip sessions in the tack room
- Mean girl behavior toward newer students
- Social media drama spilling into the barn

Here's my policy: One warning. Then you're out.

Why zero tolerance?
🐴 Horses feel tension - your drama stresses them out
🔒 Other students suffer - quiet kids quit because of your behavior
⏰ My time is valuable - I'm not a middle school counselor

After kicking a problem student out of my program, the mother said to me "But they're just teenagers!" Exactly. Which means this is the PERFECT time to learn that actions have consequences.

What I tell the teens: "You can have drama OR you can have horses. Pick one."
The result? My barn stays focused on horses and riding. Students actually learn. The good kids thrive without toxic energy around them.

Life's too short to manage teenage attitudes when there are horses to ride and skills to build.

Fellow instructors: Am I too harsh? How do you handle barn drama?

Horses deserve better than our human drama. So do the students who actually want to learn.

09/08/2025

Friesian Firsts for Haley today! What a way to get back in the saddle again!

08/20/2025

And not to be outdone, Sue O'Meara Lachance hopped on to cool Harry out for her

08/20/2025

Harry has been on a roll with his "Friesian Firsts" for all ages and riding abilities! Here's Jo's friesian first from last week.

08/08/2025

Anyone that has ever ridden with me knows this is what I live by!

Riders should read this…and then read it again. Read it with the intention to understand it and really get it. It will help both rider and horse…

07/27/2025

Everyone Who Rides Is a Trainer—The Real Question Is: What Are You Training?
There’s this common idea floating around that there’s a line between riders and trainers. Like “trainer” is some special title reserved for professionals, and everyone else is just a rider along for the ride. But here’s the truth, plain and simple:

If you ride a horse, you are a trainer.
You’re either training that horse to be better—or you’re training that horse to be worse.
There is no neutral.

That might sound harsh, but horses are always learning something every time you interact with them. So the real question isn’t are you training your horse, but rather, what are you training them to do?

Training Isn’t a Job Title—It’s a Result
People tend to think “training” is some formal process that happens under the guidance of a paid professional with a whistle and a plan. And yes, good trainers absolutely have a method, a process, and a structure. But the act of training happens every time you swing a leg over, pick up the reins, or even halter your horse.

Every time you ride, you’re teaching. Every time you handle your horse, you’re reinforcing something. And the scary part is—if you’re not intentional about what that something is, it’s usually not good.

You might be teaching your horse to:

ignore the leg,

push through the bit,

lean on the forehand,

avoid pressure,

spook to get out of work,

blow through transitions,

or flat-out disregard you as a leader.

And you might not even realize it’s happening, because a lot of bad training doesn’t feel bad in the moment. It just feels like a horse being a little “off,” or having a “bad day,” or “not liking that one thing.”

But horses don’t do things at random. They do what they've been trained to do—on purpose, by accident, or through neglect.

You don’t have to be a world-class rider to train a good horse. But you do have to be consistent. You have to have standards. You have to be present and paying attention. And you have to stop blaming the horse for things you’ve allowed, tolerated, or failed to address.

You’re training with every cue, every aid, every reaction. If you ask for something and your horse ignores you, and you let it go—you just trained them that your cues don’t mean much.

If your horse gets pushy at the gate and you say, “Oh, he’s just excited,” and you let it happen—you just trained him that excitement is a reason to ignore boundaries.

And if your horse stops listening altogether, but you just keep riding the same way hoping it gets better, you’re not just holding them back—you’re helping them get worse.

That’s training, too. It’s just not the kind that leads to a better horse.

Training Happens In the Small Things
It’s easy to think training only happens when you’re working on something obvious—like leads, stops, or lateral work. But training happens just as much in the boring stuff:

Does your horse stand still when you mount?

Does your horse wait until you ask before moving off?

Do they lead respectfully, back when asked, yield their hindquarters, soften when you pick up the reins?

Those little things are where all the real training lives. That’s where your horse is learning who you are, what you expect, and what they’re allowed to get away with.

Good training isn’t flashy. It’s not about spinning fast or sliding far. It’s about the small habits that build a safe, reliable, responsive horse. That’s what real trainers focus on—every single ride.

You’re Either Teaching Good Habits—or Reinforcing Bad Ones
Horses are pattern learners. If something works once, they’ll try it again. If something gets them out of work, they’ll remember it. If you let them drift to the gate one day, you’ve just taught them the gate is an option. If you bump the reins to slow down and then let them blow through that cue because you’re tired—that becomes the new standard.

What you allow is what you teach.
What you ignore is what you teach.
What you’re inconsistent with is what you teach.

So if your horse gets worse the more you ride—don’t look at them. Look at you.
Because whether you meant to or not, you trained that.

The Best Horses Aren’t Born—They’re Made
People love to compliment good horses. “He’s such a nice horse,” they’ll say. And that might be true. But behind every “nice” horse is someone who made sure that horse learned the right things. Somebody held that horse accountable. Somebody didn’t excuse away the nonsense. Somebody trained—every ride, every day, every moment.

And here’s the kicker: if you’re not training your horse to be better, you are leaving a blank slate open for them to teach themselves—and what they teach themselves usually involves shortcuts, resistance, and ways to avoid pressure.

That’s not a flaw in the horse. That’s just a horse being a horse. It’s your job to teach them better.

So… What Are You Training?
You don’t have to call yourself a “trainer” to be one. The horse doesn’t care about titles. The horse only cares about what you’re teaching them today.

So ask yourself:

Am I training my horse to soften, or to brace?

Am I training my horse to listen, or to tune me out?

Am I training my horse to be confident, or to be anxious?

Am I helping them progress, or letting them stall out?

Because like it or not, you are training your horse every time you’re with them.

That training can build a better horse, or it can break one down.
It can build trust, or it can create confusion.
It can build habits that last a lifetime—or habits you’ll be fighting for the rest of that horse’s life.

Final Thought: Own the Job You Already Have
You don’t need to be a pro to train your horse well. You just need to take ownership of the role you already have. Be aware. Be consistent. Be intentional.

Because every rider is a trainer.
And every horse is the product of that training.

What kind of horse are you making?

07/24/2025

Stop Fixing Problems You Created

There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it plain:

A lot of the problems people bring to me — barn sour horses, buddy sour horses, horses that won’t load, won’t stand at the mounting block, don’t stop, don’t steer, don’t pick up the right lead — didn’t come out of nowhere. They weren’t born that way. And most of the time, they weren’t trained that way either.

They were made that way. And most often? They were made that way by the very people trying to fix them.

Now before you get your feathers ruffled, hear me out. I’m not here to shame anyone. Horses are honest creatures. They respond to the environment they’re in and the leadership they get. If you’ve got a problem horse, that horse isn’t out to make your life miserable. That horse is just reacting to what it’s been taught — directly or indirectly — by you.

So before you go looking for a fix, stop and ask yourself one simple question:

“Did I create this?”

Horses Learn Patterns — Whether You Meant to Teach Them or Not
Horses are masters of pattern recognition. They don’t just learn what we intentionally teach — they learn what we repeatedly allow.

Let me give you a simple example. You ride your horse for 45 minutes, and every single time you dismount right at the gate. After about a week of that, your horse starts pulling toward the gate at the 40-minute mark. Two weeks in, you’re fighting to stay in the arena at all. You say, “He’s barn sour.” No — he’s gate-conditioned. You taught him that the gate is where the ride ends, and he learned it better than you realized.

Same thing with mounting blocks. You let your horse walk off the second your foot hits the stirrup? Don’t be surprised when he refuses to stand still. He’s not being disrespectful — he’s doing exactly what he thinks he’s supposed to do. You taught him that.

Buddy sour? Happens when every ride, every turnout, every trailer ride, every everything happens in pairs. You never ask that horse to be alone, never train it to focus on you instead of the herd, and then act shocked when it melts down the minute its pasture mate walks away.

These are learned behaviors. And if you taught it — even accidentally — then you’re the one who needs to un-teach it.

Avoidance Creates Anxiety
I see it all the time: the rider knows their horse doesn’t like something — maybe it’s going in the trailer, riding out alone, crossing water, walking past a flapping tarp. So what do they do? They just avoid it. Again and again.

And you know what happens? The horse gets more anxious. The issue doesn’t go away. It gets bigger. Because now that thing is associated with stress, and the horse has never been taught how to work through it. The human’s avoidance has created a mental block.

And then one day they try to address it — maybe they need to trailer somewhere, or they’re in a clinic and someone pulls out a tarp — and the horse explodes. And they say, “I don’t know why he’s acting like this!”

I do. You’ve been letting it fester. You taught your horse that he never has to face the thing that scares him. Until now. And now it’s a fight.

Inconsistency is the Fastest Way to Ruin a Good Horse
You can’t train a horse one way on Monday and another way on Wednesday and expect them to understand anything. And yet that’s what a lot of folks do.

Monday: you make him back out of your space.
Tuesday: you let him walk all over you because you’re in a rush.
Wednesday: you smack him with the lead rope for doing the same thing he got away with yesterday.
Thursday: you feel bad and let him be pushy again.

That horse has no idea what the rules are. And when there are no clear rules, a horse will either take charge or check out completely. Either way, it’s not going to end in a safe, willing, responsive partner.

Stop Saying “He Just Started Doing That”
I hear that phrase constantly: “He just started doing that.”

No, he didn’t. You just started noticing it once it became a problem you couldn’t ignore.

Most bad habits start small. A little shoulder lean. A step into your space. A half-second delay in picking up a cue. But when you ignore those things, they grow. Horses don’t suddenly wake up one day and decide to bolt, buck, rear, or refuse. They show you the warning signs first. It’s up to you to listen and respond before it becomes a crisis.

So the next time you say, “He just started doing that,” stop and think: Did I actually miss the signs? Did I allow this to build?

Horses Are Honest — But So Are Results
Your horse is just doing what it was taught. Maybe not on purpose. Maybe not maliciously. But consistently.

The results you’re getting today are a direct reflection of the leadership you’ve given up until now.

And the good news is — that works in reverse too.

If your horse is a problem today, and you take responsibility, and you start showing up consistently, with clear expectations, fair corrections, and better timing — the horse will respond. Horses aren’t holding grudges. They’re not being stubborn just to spite you. They’re not political. They’re not bitter. They’re honest.

They will follow a better leader the moment one shows up.

Final Thought
If you’re spending your time trying to fix a problem, the first place you need to look is the mirror.

Because if you’re the one who taught it — even by accident — then you’re also the one who can fix it. But only if you take responsibility.

Stop blaming the horse. Stop acting surprised. Start being the kind of leader your horse actually needs — not the one that avoids, excuses, and compensates.

The horse isn’t broken. The horse isn’t rebellious. The horse isn’t hard to train.

You’re just trying to fix something you created without first owning the fact that you created it.

And until you do that, nothing is going to change.