06/12/2019
The Problem with Time Out by CMEJones ECE Instructor
It used to be that time out was an accepted practice in ECE for wiggly, misbehaving children who were not compliant or just plain causing trouble in the ranks. In today's world, we are re-thinking time out and whether it really works the way it is intended.
Teachers, who when faced with challenging behaviors, sometimes become so frustrated that their actions inadvertently result in shaming and embarrassing children in front of their peers. One thing is fact, you never want to make an enemy of a child and using time out might be one of the most effective ways to achieve this unwanted goal. How, you ask, does this happen? You may have noticed that children are very observant beings and the one thing they are most interested in in the classroom, is each other. The social substance in the classroom is the very meat of a child’s school existence. When attention is drawn to any child, other children notice and the child in question notices that he or she is being noticed.
Picture this: Child ‘A’ is causing a scene at the water table, splashing water on all of the children. Some children think this is fun, while others definitely do not like water splashed on them and complain loudly. The teacher intervenes and gives child ‘A’ warning that they will be in trouble if this behavior continues. Child ‘A’, knowing a challenge when presented, resumes the activity of splashing as soon as the coast is clear. Children continue to complain loudly and the teacher returns, placing child ‘A’ in timeout on a chair away from the water table. Now begins the war of wills.
Several things could result.
· Child feels humiliated
· Child becomes angry and maybe destructive
· Child become loud and disruptive
· Child resents the teacher
· Child is getting attention from others who are watching
· Child doesn’t stay in timeout and has to be re-directed or held
· Child sits quietly and is forgotten by the teacher
· Child says they are sorry and is released from timeout only to continue the behavior
· Child feels powerless and not in control
· Or just maybe the child sits for the allotted time and returns to play with expected good behavior
Out of the entire above list, the last bullet is least likely to be the result with every child- children being of differing temperament and personality. So what is a teacher to do?
It is important that children learn to manage and control their own behavior. It is important for them to learn to anticipate expected outcomes for themselves and we are the guide for that. Whether we are teachers or parents of young children, it would make our jobs much easier to allow children to achieve their own good behavior and not have to manage it for them.
Picture the same water table scenario. Child ‘A’ is splashing again. This time the teacher approaches and asks what is going on. Several children give their version of the story including child ‘A’. The teacher asks the group to recount the water table rules of engagement and of course, they mention, “no splashing”. The ‘why’ of it is discussed and the teacher reminds them to play nicely using the rules. In this way, the perpetrator is not so singled out and it is a reminder for all of the children of the expected behavior. If child ‘A’ splashes again, the teacher returns and this time asks the child if they wish to continue playing at the water table or go somewhere else to play. If the child chooses the water table, the teacher will tell them that they must play without splashing or go somewhere else to play and asks the child if they agree to this. If the child agrees, they are allowed to continue at the water table. If the splashing resumes, the teacher returns and helps guide the child to another place to play with the opportunity to return at some point if they agree to comply with the no splashing rule.
This takes many more steps and involves a lot more patience and guidance on the part of the adult, but is well worth the effort. In the long run the result will be that children will learn to make choices for themselves about their own behavior and hopefully, become compliant because of their own understanding and desire. There are those children who have compulsive tendencies and all I can say is that it will take much more time and effort, but the end result of self-regulation is still the desired goal.
On a similar but slightly different note, making young children participate when they are reluctant or afraid and punishing them with a timeout if they do not, is just wrong. I only mention this because I know of a situation where the teacher used this with a young, timid child. I promise this will not instill trust and confidence. Modeling, encouragement and helping reluctant children to make friends is much more effective.
In sum, I wish I had known about more effective management techniques when I was a teacher. It took years of muddling through time out to see its ineffectiveness. If you feel you have to use it, use it wisely and with respect. Engage children in conversation about expectations, create and discuss rules with them and above all, keep your cool.
Time-Out for Exclusionary Tactics in ECE Settings: Leading with Heads and Hearts by Wendy Young. (April 26, 2011).Retrieved from Https://www.earlychildhoodwebinars.com
Time Out or Time Away? Consequences for Children. Retrieved from http://thebigtodolist.com/time-out-or-time-away.
Time Out vs Time In: What's the Difference? (July 2012) Retrieved from https://www.positiveparentingconnection.net/time-out-vs-time-in-whats-the-difference
