Sharlene H McClendon

04/10/2026

What if the way you’ve been taught to handle emotions is actually disconnecting you from yourself?

For a long time, I didn’t have language for what I was experiencing internally. I knew I felt things deeply, but I didn’t fully understand what those emotions meant—or how they were shaping the way I saw myself, my worth, and my relationships.

Over time, I started to notice a pattern: I wasn’t just reacting to emotions, I was interpreting them in ways that often led me further away from myself. And I realized I wasn’t alone in that experience.

In this new blog, I explore the difference between emotions and feelings—and how that distinction quietly influences our sense of self-worth, the decisions we make, and the way we show up in our relationships with others and with ourselves.

Many of us were never actually taught how to build a relationship with ourselves. We were taught how to function, how to push through, how to be productive—but not how to pause, reflect, and listen inwardly. And over time, that absence becomes normal.

This piece is a reflection of what it looked like for me to begin unlearning that disconnection and learn how to reconnect with myself more intentionally.

If you’ve ever felt “off” but couldn’t quite explain why or found yourself moving through life on autopilot while still showing up for everyone else, this may resonate more than you expect.

We often talk about improving relationships—with coworkers, partners, friends. But one relationship shapes all of them: the one you have with yourself.

03/23/2026

What if the way you push yourself is holding you back?

As an LPC, I often see very capable and powerful individuals struggle—not because they lack skill or drive—but because their relationship with themselves is missing. They push themselves to produce outcomes, meet expectations, and “keep going,” yet this constant pressure can hold them back from making decisions that truly honor their needs, values, and well-being.

Many of us are experts at managing tasks, meeting deadlines, and keeping up appearances—but in the process, we may be neglecting the one relationship that matters most: the one we have with ourselves. Constantly pushing forward can feel like discipline, strength, or responsibility—but underneath, it often comes with pressure, guilt, and disconnection.

In this newsletter, I explore the difference between managing yourself and believing in yourself. You’ll learn why early experiences shape these patterns, how our inner voices can shift from supportive to critical, and practical ways to move from constant pressure to inner trust and sustainable self-support.

Includes reflection questions to help you pause, check in, and start relating to yourself in a more compassionate, resilient way—so you can perform at your best without sacrificing your own needs.

Do you feel like you’re constantly managing yourself instead of trusting yourself? When was the last time you truly believed in your own ability to handle what comes your way? It doesn’t always look like a problem. You get things done.

03/09/2026

Do you know if you’re truly connected to yourself?

Sometimes life moves so fast—or so quietly—that we gradually lose touch with who we are. Responsibilities, expectations, and stress can pull us outward, leaving our own needs, emotions, and sense of direction behind—sometimes without us even noticing.

In my latest newsletter, “How Do You Know That You Are Lost? — Discover the signs and begin the journey back to yourself”, I explore:

What it means to be lost to yourself

How can this disconnection happen gradually or suddenly

Common emotional, mental, and behavioral signs

Reflective steps to begin noticing and reconnecting

This newsletter isn’t therapy—it’s a guide to recognizing when we’ve drifted from ourselves and considering small steps toward reconnecting with who we truly are.

Have you ever wondered if you’re moving through life without truly being present with yourself? Sometimes life moves so fast—or so quietly—that we gradually lose touch with who we are. We keep working, caring for others, and meeting expectations—but whether quickly or over time, we may stop ...

02/24/2026

Pain Is Inevitable. Suffering Is Learned: Transforming Your Relationships

What if the key to stronger relationships, better decisions, and greater resilience isn’t avoiding pain but understanding it and suffering?

In this piece, I explore the powerful distinction between pain and suffering, how pain is a natural, human experience, while suffering is often something we learn through stories, self-criticism, and inherited patterns.

When we fuse the two, we get stuck.
When we separate them, we gain clarity.

This newsletter dives into:
• How early experiences shape our relationship with discomfort
• The impact of pain and suffering on self-talk and identity
• How these patterns spill into romantic, family, and professional life
relationships
• The role they play in boundaries, career choices, and daily decisions
• Practical reflection questions to help you shift from reacting to
responding

If you’re interested in personal growth, emotional awareness, healthier connections, and breaking generational patterns, this piece offers both insight and actionable reflection.

Pain is human. Suffering is learned, and it can be unlearned.

Knowing the difference between pain and suffering helps us move through life and relationships instead of being trapped by them. Pain signals that something matters, while suffering occurs when we attach stories, self-criticism, or “shoulds” to that pain, letting it shape our identity, decisions...

02/08/2026

I’ve seen, both in my work as a counselor and in my own life, how early relationships shape the way we see, value, and connect with ourselves. Sometimes, we search for belonging outside ourselves—through achievements, approval, or fitting in—only to find it leaves us feeling disconnected.

True belonging begins internally. It grows when we honor our authentic selves, listen to our emotions, set healthy boundaries, and show up consistently for ourselves.

Reflective Questions:

1. Where in your life are you seeking belonging from others instead of
creating it within?

2. What is one intentional action you can take today to strengthen your
relationship with yourself?

Belonging isn’t found—it’s built. From the inside out.

Belonging isn’t found—it’s built from within. Have you ever felt like you don’t belong… anywhere? I know I’ve felt that way at times, even in spaces where I “should” have fit in.

01/25/2026

Most people don’t choose relationships; they repeat them.

Have you ever wondered why certain patterns keep showing up in your friendships, family dynamics, or romantic relationships? Often, the answer can lie in the relationship you have with yourself.

Our earliest experiences, the ways care and boundaries were modeled for us, and the messages we internalized about our worth shape how we relate to others and, more importantly, how we treat ourselves. These patterns aren’t flaws; they’re learned responses, but they can quietly influence the choices we make in every relationship.

This newsletter explores how your inner relationship can affect the people you choose to connect with, the boundaries you set, and the way you show up in your interactions. It offers a framework for awareness and reflection, helping you recognize patterns and empowering you to make conscious choices that honor your needs and values.

Inside, you’ll find reflective questions to help you explore:

The recurring patterns in your relationships

How your self-relationship may shape your choices

Ways to strengthen the connection with yourself

Small, actionable steps that can influence how you engage with others

Strengthening the relationship with yourself isn’t about perfection—it’s about awareness, choice, and care. As you nurture this inner connection, your relationships with others often begin to shift naturally, bringing more balance, authenticity, and fulfillment into your life.

Read the full newsletter to start exploring how your inner world shapes your external relationships and discover ways to reclaim your sense of agency and self-care.

Most people don’t choose relationships—they repeat them. We often look to our relationships to understand what is working—or not working—in our lives.

01/05/2026

When Emotions Speak Louder Than Words

For many women, emotions can feel overwhelming—loud, constant, and hard to define. When we don’t have the language to understand them, feelings can quietly take over our sense of self.

In my latest blog, I share how learning to understand and ground emotions helped me reclaim my identity, find my voice, and create space for both myself and others. It’s a gentle guide for women ready to separate their emotions from who they are—and step into their true selves.

For much of my life, my emotions spoke louder than my words. I felt everything—deeply, constantly, and without pause. But feeling everything without understanding what I was feeling, or having the language to define it, ...

01/05/2026

Many women spend their lives caring for others—being a wife, mother, sister, or friend—while slowly losing touch with themselves. Quietly, their own needs, dreams, and voice can fade into the background.

My latest blog explores what it feels like to be “invisible” within these meaningful roles—and how you can begin reconnecting with the woman you were always meant to love and see. It’s a space to reflect, acknowledge, and take the first steps toward being truly seen, known, and valued.

If you’ve ever felt unseen or lost in the midst of your responsibilities, this one’s for you.

This blog is not a critique of being a wife, mother, sister, or family member. Far from it—these roles are meaningful, sacred, and full of purpose. What I want to speak to is the woman who feels invisible within these ro...

10/17/2025

Consistent Care is Loving Yourself Well

We talk a lot about self-love, but the real question is:

Are you showing up for you consistently?
💡 Self-love isn’t just about feeling good; it’s about being reliable for yourself.

Love shows up in actions:
✨ Listening when your body says “rest”
✨ Saying no when your peace is at stake
✨ Making space for your emotions—even when they’re messy
✨ Choosing routines that support you, not sabotage you

And yes—even when it’s inconvenient.
It’s not about grand gestures.

It’s the small, quiet, everyday things that build real trust between you and you.

🪴 A glass of water before coffee
🛑 A pause instead of pushing through
🗓️ A moment to breathe instead of scrolling

This is what loving yourself well looks like.
Consistency > intensity. Every time.
How have you been caring for yourself lately—in small, faithful ways?

10/16/2025

To be loved well isn’t about grand gestures or perfect words. It’s about being cared for in a way that is genuine, respectful, and deeply attuned to who you truly are. May you choose relationships, especially the one with yourself, that reflect this kind of love. Because you deserve to be met with the same care you offer others.

10/15/2025

Willingness to Grow is Loving Yourself Well.
Self-love isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present, especially when things get messy.

Loving yourself well means:
✨ Being curious about your patterns
✨ Asking why instead of rushing to fix
✨ Learning how to do better without shaming where you are

You don’t have to have it all figured out.

You just have to stay in a relationship with yourself.
💭 Can you sit with your mistakes without making them your identity?
💭 Can you forgive yourself and still hold yourself accountable?

That’s growth.
That’s love.
That’s you becoming the kind of person you can trust.
Because the goal isn’t to never fall short.
The goal is to show up with intention when you do.

Growth is not proof of your worth. It’s an expression of it.