Carly Woods Wellness

Perfectionism is a prison. 🗝️

It locks us in the perpetual pursuit of the impossible.

It keeps us ruminating over the past.

Or, attempting to ignore it.

While trying to get everything “right” may be a losing battle…

…we can WIN by admitting defeat.

By acknowledging and owning our imperfections.

Yes, the process stings at first.

Especially if we grew up associating achievement with love or acceptance. 🤍

Witnessing our shortcomings is never easy.

But healing requires we don’t bypass the truth.

It takes time, growth, and humility.

But, it does mean we can begin to LIGHTEN our burden.

We can make forward PROGRESS.

We can stop wasting energy on things we can not change.

Instead, we can begin to pursue the honest, true, and LOVELY things of this world.

Just think of ALL you could do without the weight of an impossible standard!

When life feels heavy, remember that you get to CHOOSE.

It doesn’t have to be today, but the choice is always yours. 🕊️

When you feel anxious, remember this…

Anxiety is your body’s way of PROTECTING you. It may not feel like it in the moment, but it is the truth. 🤍

Our nervous system handles many bodily functions, including our breath, heartbeat, digestion, thirst, how we heal, and our thoughts and emotions.

It is also in charge of how the body reacts when we perceive a THREAT in our life - be it a hungry predator, a car accident, or an aggressive email.

〰️ When our safety is (or feels) threatened, the nervous system will kick in and put us into a state of FIGHT-OR-FLIGHT, readying us to defend ourselves or run away.

〰️ Our bodies are designed for short period of this kind of stress, after which it tries to bring us back down to a regulated state where we again feel SAFE AND SOCIAL.

〰️ If we experience acute or chronic stress, the body may pull us even deeper into a FREEZE state. This is the body’s way of forcing us to slow down, take shelter, and conserve resources.

Unfortunately, today’s world of hustle and bustle, commutes, deadlines, and demanding careers means constant stress makes it harder for our body to relax.

If you are ANXIOUS more often than not, chances are your nervous system is stuck in an OVERACTIVE state! You are not alone (I have been there myself).

Anxiety is not all in your head, it is also in your BODY!

Fortunately, there are many things we can do to get back to a calm, regulated state. My favorites are breathing exercises, grounding practices, body scans, and movement.

And, simply understanding our nervous system can be indispensable to how we view, experience, and manage anxiety and stress! 🪞

My ALIGN 1:1 coaching program is designed to help women do just this, as as they also reclaim meaning, purpose, and vibrancy in their lives.

If your curiosity has been sparked, I’d love to connect over DMs or a free Connection Call! (Book here: https://tinyurl.com/cww-connect)

(Note, healing anxiety can often require the help of a licensed professional, so please reach out to a provider if facing a deeper issue.) 🕊️

If I had to start over again, I would do things differently. 🎬

I spent years battling chronic stress, burnout, and multiple autoimmune conditions with strict nutrition and wellness protocols.

They helped, but they didn’t solve the problem.

The MOST impactful thing I did was regulate my nervous system.

When stress knocks us out of balance, our body uses all of it’s energy to PROTECT us in the moment, leaving little to heal and restore the body.

This can feel like being on high-alert, hyper-vigilant, or perfectionistic and can become a never-ending cycle of chronic stress and compromised wellbeing.

Fortunately, regulating your nervous system doesn’t have to be complicated! 🕊️

Simple daily steps help in the short-term AND make a notable difference over time. We just have to be willing to begin.

Once our body knows how to find balance, not only do things like nutrition and exercise have more impact, but they also become EASIER!

If you are chronically stressed, please ignore anyone telling you to TRY harder to create physical change. You may just need to try something DIFFERENT. 🤍

Yes, nutrition and physical movement matter - but there is so much more to healing from burnout.

Want to learn more? Shoot me a DM!

Are you a successful woman who constantly feels stressed? 🕊️

Let me guess, you’re proud of the success you’ve achieved and the life you’ve built, but you often feel like something is missing.

Perhaps, you also…

〰️ Have had many successes in life, yet don’t feel fulfilled.

〰️ Are on the go constantly, moving from one responsibility to the next during the day.

〰️ Wonder why you can’t relax, even on the weekends.

〰️ Have trouble sleeping at night, but need ALL the caffeine to keep yourself going during the day.

〰️ Give everything to those you love and don’t regret it for a minute. But, you also find it challenging to make time for yourself.

〰️ And, even if you had more you time, it is hard to imagine how you would even use it.

〰️ Feel far from the girl you used to be, and you dearly miss parts of her.

〰️ Know you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to, but don’t know where to start.

Can you relate?

If so, I’d like to introduce you to ALIGN! ✨

A six-month, transformative personal coaching program designed to help driven women find balance and build a vibrant, harmonious life!

ALIGN is optimized to help women just like you balance their nervous system, reconnect with their soul, and optimize their physical wellbeing.

So you can continue being successful while also feeling GREAT and LOVING life.

The program includes diverse education, continuous support, and hands-on guidance to support you in shifting perspective, removing roadblocks, and enhancing vitality and joy.

If you are saying “This sounds like me!” and want someone to walk alongside you, send me a message or schedule a free connection call through the link in my bio.

Questions? I also love to chat over DM! 🫶🏻

This will change the way you look at STRESS. 🤍

Understanding how our nervous system works can help us understand and regulate our emotions.

Dan Siegel’s Window of Tolerance suggests we have an optimal state of being in which we are able to REGULATE our reaction to stress.

However, when we experience stressors, we can be pushed out of this Window of Tolerance into an over-active or under-active state.

This is particularly true if our stress is ONGOING, as our body may become less effective at resetting between stressful events.

It is also true if we have experienced TRAUMA (either in childhood or as an adult). 🫶🏻

Fortunately, there are many strategies available to help us return to the Window of Tolerance.

These tools can also help us recognize the effects of stress on the body in the moment, minimizing their impact and ability and throw us further off BALANCE.

Take a moment to check in with yourself and notice where you are within your Window of Tolerance right now. Are you over-activated, under-activated, or balanced?

If you feel overwhelmed or anxious, try some breathing exercises or self-soothing activities to bring yourself back into your tolerance window.

What activities or practices help you stay within your Window of Tolerance during times of stress? My favorites are to take a short walk or listen to some uplifting music. 🪽

FOUR things most self-help books won’t tell you about healing chronic stress… ✨

⓵ CHRONIC STRESS = DYSREGULATION - When we are under constant (or near-constant) stress, our nervous system will stay on high alert. Over time, this can become a self-feeding system resulting in hyper-vigilance, overwhelm, and/or apathy, plus physical symptoms like poor sleep and digestive issues.

⓶ IT’S NOT ALL OUR FAULT - Factors such as genetics and trauma can lead to nervous system dysregulation and downstream behavior patterns such as overachieving and people pleasing. Eventually, we can find ourselves in a place where we are unhappy, unsure how we arrived there, and unaware of the way out.

⓷ MINDSET WON’T SOLVE IT - We can’t out-think your body’s stress reaction. No amount of time spent in positive thinking, doing affirmations, or reading self-help books will regulate our nervous system. In fact, the act of repeatedly seeking unfruitful solutions may add to our stress and frustration.

⓸ THERE ARE SOLUTIONS - Learning to regulate our nervous system is a life-changing, life-long skill. A knowledgeable coach or counselor, and simple self-care practices can help us feel more regulated now while restoring our ability to stay balanced long-term.

If you feel like you are always stressed and don’t know how to fix it, I can 100% relate. 🫶🏻

I tried SO many different tools to relieve stress - and most were only slightly helpful UNTIL I healed my nervous system.

From a regulated foundation, my day-to-day life feels completely different.

Everyone who feels chronically stressed should have access to this knowledge!

If you’re interested in learning more about how to heal from chronic stress and move from BURNOUT to balance, let me know in the comments or via DM - I’d love to share more.

This concept may be nothing new, but it can still change your life. 🤍

Humans have talked about the benefits of focusing on what we CAN CONTROL for millennia (beginning with the ancient Stoic philosophers).

The “Circle of Control” model centers around three types of human concerns:

⓵ CIRCLE OF CONCERN - The wide range of things that matter to us. Many of these things we will have NO POWER to change, including: the weather, your past, accidents, traffic, other people’s behavior, the economy, etc.

⓶ CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE - Important things that we CAN do something about, such as: performing well for a job interview, eating healthily to prevent disease, or communicating clearly to build relationships. Outcomes in this area are not completely up to us, but we can impact them.

⓷ CIRCLE OF CONTROL - Important things that are ONLY up to us. This includes our “inner life” (e.g., perspectives and attitudes), as well as our decisions, what we watch, how we react to others, and where we put our energy. Focusing here creates the greatest impact and empowerment.

The secret is to focus on ACCEPTING any areas where we lack influence or control. Acceptance is easier said than done when something matters to us, even if we KNOW it is outside of our control.

However, concern without acceptance creates ANXIETY. Anxiety is a physiological call to action, to do something new or differently. Focusing on things we can’t control can build anxiety without an appropriate path to release.

Wherever possible, please allow yourself to LET GO of what you can’t control. This will not only enhance how you feel today but will also free your energy to take constructive steps towards what you can actually change.

Take a deep breath and ask yourself “is this something I can even affect?” If the answer is “NO,” move on and find something you can! 🫶🏻

STOP making the mistake of losing your time off. ⏱️

Q: If your employer handed you a check for time already worked, would you give it back…?

Q: Of course not!

However, HALF of us don’t use the time off we are provided!

Here are some reasons why:

〰️ WORKLOADS are heavy in the current economy. Plus, we aren’t getting the communication and resources we need to be efficient.

〰️ Our workplace CULTURES don’t support time off. In fact, HALF of us say our employer doesn’t encourage breaks and/or respect time off.

〰️ Vacation GUILT is real. We are afraid to let our coworkers down or to appear uncommitted. We also worry that stepping away will result in greater stress upon our return.

I know that taking a step back is often easier said than done.

I worked MANY holidays due to overwhelm or trying to get ahead of deadlines. (With notable consequences - after working one Christmas I ended up with shingles at age 28).

Our work will still be there tomorrow. But, we NEED restorative time in order to function our best.

Plus, time off is typically part of our COMPENSATION plan. Employers often budget for time off using the hours we’ve already worked; we EARN it.

So, NOT using our time off is like working for free. Seeing it as INCOME can help reframe our perspective and overcome any blocks holding us back.

Please take your time off, guilt-free, and encourage others to do the same. No fancy vacation needed; running errands, napping, or binge-watching Netflix all count.

Not only will the time away help you be more effective when you return, you may even lead by example and foster a healthier work environment for your coworkers.

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t take all of your time off? Anyone have crazy stories? I’d love to hear them in the comments!

If you could use 1:1 support, my coaching program is designed specifically to support driven women who want to create more balanced, peaceful, and joyful lives. Book a free connection call here: https://tinyurl.com/cww-connect.

Want to know the truth…? 💬

Despite growing support for mental health in the workplace, HUSTLE CULTURE is alive and well - leaving us stressed and depleted.

Mental health is of growing concern among employers, who are now providing better resources for stress management.

However, most employees still experience one or more symptoms of BURNOUT, including emotional exhaustion, lack of motivation, difficulty focusing, and desire to keep to ourselves at work.

Many of us are also also typically TENSE or stressed during our workdays and/or believe our work environment detracts from our mental health.

We also hesitate to tell our employers about mental health struggles for fear of negative consequences.

Likely because they tend to be overoptimistic about the mental health of their workforce in the first place.

PLUS, workplace cultures aren’t consistently encouraging breaks, time off, or flexibility for personal issues.

To summarize, employers are making an effort, but those efforts just aren’t having the impact they think.

Fortunately, companies will continue to learn and expand towards what their employees actually need.

In the meantime, know you are not alone - everyone else is still STRESSED too.

Take your time off, make time for your mental health, and advocate for yourself. 🤍

What do you think - does any of this surprise you? I’d love to know your take on this big issue.

Data Source: 2024 Work in America Survey (https://www.apa.org/pubs/reports/work-in-america)

You may not want to hear this.

Proponents of quick solutions probably don’t want you to hear it either.

Frankly, they’d rather sell you the latest FLASHY new key to understanding yourself. 🗝️

The truth is, no external source can deliver true self-understanding and healing.

For example, I USED to love typologies like Meyers-Briggs, Enneagram, Human Design, DISC, etc.

It all started with the quizzes in Seventeen magazine as a teenager. (Remember those?)

Over time, in my own journey and as a coach, I’ve realized how LIMITING these can actually be.

It is far too easy to attach our identity to a “type” or use it as an excuse.

〰️ Always late? “I can’t help it, I am X type.”

〰️ Don’t feel like making human connections? “That doesn’t matter, I’m a Y.”

〰️ People say I’m overbearing? “They just don’t know what it’s like to be a Z.”

It can be incredibly validating to have your perspective reflected back by an external source - in the form of a quiz, new book, or “expert.”

However, without discernment this can become a perpetual, futile quest for knowledge that takes us nowhere.

We DO each have unique gifts and a purpose we’re meant to understand, yet we’re also meant to evolve.

As multifaceted beings, our intricacies weave a tapestry far more complex than any external source could ever pin down.

Think of a flower unfurling as it blooms, revealing innate beauty over time.

A flower never asks to be defined, nor does it seek to understand why it is a rose instead of a daisy.

It simply becomes more and more beautiful as it grows into itself.

So, have fun, learn, and explore.

But please know, who YOU are is ONLY between you and who you were created to be. 🌸

If you’re feeling stuck, a good coach can help you hone your perspective and chart your unique course.

…

What do you think? Is this a controversial opinion? Share your thoughts in the comments!

Just a friendly reminder… 🤍

You can’t improve BURNOUT by working harder.

You are likely smart, driven, and have a great work ethic. You’ve probably also learned how to solve most problems with long hours, late nights, and coffee.

However, if you’re feeling burnt-out, these solutions will only make things worse in the long run - like throwing gasoline on a fire.

If you feel stuck in a perpetual cycle of effort and exhaustion, I get it. I’ve muscled through deadlines, sacrificing sleep, sanity, and self-care to deliver on expectations, only to crash and start again.

I won’t tell you to stop striving, excelling, or working late. Sometimes this is necessary (and I still do it on occasion).

That said, our human tolerance for pushing through is like a rubber band. We can flex and adapt to meet demands, but do it too often and we lose the ability to snap back or hold things together.

The truth is, overcoming burnout is not just a career problem. Better life balance requires a HOLISTIC, whole-person approach. Think of it in three parts:

⓵ PHYSICAL - Burnout is inherently tied to our nervous system, sleep, nutrition, hormones, weight, and more. Supporting our body’s unique physical needs is crucial to feeling better in all parts of life.

⓶ MENTAL - Shifting our perspective is key to moving past overwhelm and exhaustion. Support from a coach or counselor can help us refine our mindset and effectively approach challenges.

⓷ EMOTIONAL - Juggling life’s responsibilities can feel isolating and dim our connection to our innate self. Reconnecting to our soul’s intrinsic nature can reignite wonder and joy.

If you feel burnt-out, DO NOT pressure yourself to do more or be better. Chances are, you are already doing SO much. 🫶🏻

Give yourself grace, allow yourself rest, and seek support when needed. 🕊️

If you are curious about how working with a coach can guide you out of burnout, let’s chat!