09/01/2026
Tip Tuesday:
Even though it might not appear so to their parents, teenagers usually go through a period of strong self-doubt. In fact, a person's self-concept is usually lower during the teen years than at any other time in life. Self-doubt in teens is normal. It usually stems from the enormous social, emotional, physical, and hormonal upheaval they are experiencing. Parents can help turn these feelings of self-doubt into healthy feelings of self-worth.
We Should Not Only See Our Teens but Hear Them Too
Simply telling teens they are good at something won't help them build self-confidence. They will often discount what we say. Whenever possible, notice what your teen is doing well at school, with chores, or in other activities. Say, “You're getting good at this! I bet that feels good.” Ask why things might be turning out so well. Then just listen and avoid excessive praise. When teens explain in their own words how they achieved success, they begin to build a stronger self-image and greater confidence.
Questions Instead of Criticism
Many of us are programmed to react instead of think when problems come up, and we end up being overly critical of our teens. This can contribute to their self-doubt by focusing attention on the negative. Instead of criticizing or giving orders, try asking questions. That doesn't mean interrogation. Ask a question and then say, “Is this what you mean?” or “Thanks for sharing that.” Long periods of silence between questions and asking open-ended questions will give your teen the chance to do the talking and fill in the blanks.
Focus on What a Teen Does Well
Maybe your teen struggles in one area but is talented in another. Wise parents encourage their teens to focus on what they excel at. Experiencing success gives them strength and confidence to try other things that may be more challenging.
Success comes in many forms. In our book. From Bad Grades to a Great Life!, you’ll discover how to identify and build on your child’s strengths, encourage effort and determination, and help them develop the confidence and motivation to succeed in school and in life.
Love and Logic®
Send a message to learn more