Highlander Aquatics

Introducing: The Swimmer’s or Swammer's Corner

Highlanders,
Over the years, many of you have received my “CC’ed Coach’s Corner” Thoughts for the Week.
Some were about swimming.
Some were about life.
Most were really about both.
Last week at my retirement celebration, one of our swimmers handed me something unexpected and meaningful:
His own version of a “Thought for the Week.”
His words reminded me of something important:
Leadership is not supposed to stop with the coaching staff.
So I came up with an idea.
The Swimmer’s Corner.
A place for YOU to share your thoughts, lessons, observations, struggles, breakthroughs, humor, perspective, or experiences with your teammates.
Maybe it’s something swimming taught you.
Maybe it’s something life taught you through swimming.
Maybe it’s about failure.
Confidence.
Pressure.
Friendship.
Fear.
Leadership.
Motivation.
Balance.
Gratitude.
Or simply something you noticed sitting behind the blocks one day.
The goal is simple:
To learn from each other.
Some of the strongest voices on this team have never picked up a microphone.
This is your chance.
If you would like to contribute a Swimmer’s Corner Thought for the Week, send it to me.
It can be short.
It can be deep.
It can be funny.
It just needs to be real.
______________________________
Below is the very first submission that inspired this idea:
Swimmer's Corner
Thought for the Week
I Hope/I Will
I spent about three years hoping for things to happen.
In the pool.
At home.
In relationships.
But I never got anywhere.
NOT ANYWHERE.
I didn't believe the things I wanted were possible; they were just wishes.
When you think about it, it's easy to see why.
If you don't believe in yourself and your abilities, you've already failed.
So I failed. A lot.
You get passed in the pool.
Relationships are starved.
At home, your parents wonder why you aren't achieving what they know you can.
Once you believe in yourself,
And that your dreams are achievable,
You work harder.
You work smarter.
And eventually you get there.
I will get there.
(anonymous - for now)
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE
Anonymously or acknowledged…
Please send me an email,
or stop by the office
and share it with me personally.
Coach Curley

CC'ed
Coach's Corner by Coach Curley
Thought for the Week
Just Deal With It – My Dad would be 89 today…
Happy Memorial Day

I can still hear my dad’s voice:
“Life’s not fair, son. Just deal with it.”

At the time, it sounded harsh.
But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized it wasn’t about
being tough for toughness’ sake.
It was about learning the difference between complaining and confronting.

See, “Just deal with it” isn’t a dismissal—it’s an invitation.
An invitation to stop fighting reality and start working with it.
To take whatever’s in front of you—
the cold pool,
the long day,
the tough loss—and handle it like a pro.

Because the truth is, life’s not waiting for your ideal conditions.
It’s happening right now.
And if you spend your energy wishing things were different,
you miss the chance to grow stronger right where you are.

“Just deal with it” doesn’t mean “shut up and suffer.”
It means face it, own it, and move forward anyway.

Like sitting in class and realizing the test is harder than you expected—
you don’t crumple it up and walk out.
You take a deep breath, read the next question,
and figure it out one problem at a time.

That’s the power of acceptance—it’s not giving up.
It’s gearing up.

So this week, when something doesn’t go your way—
when plans fall through, people disappoint,
or the day doesn’t run smoothly—
pause for a second and tell yourself:
“I can’t control everything. But I can deal with it.”

Because that’s what winners do.
They adapt.
They adjust.
They deal with it—and keep moving forward.

Take Care,
Coach Curley
“Do not pray for an easy life.
Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.”
— Bruce Lee

CC'ed
Coach's Corner by Coach Curley
Thought for the WeekEND
The Unlived Life — (It’s Your Swimming)

At my retirement gathering
After practice last week,
A swim parent handed me a copy of
Psychology of the Unconscious by Carl Jung.

Now… let’s be honest…
I haven’t exactly finished the book yet.
I’m still somewhere between the introduction
and pretending I understand Carl Jung.

But one quote stopped me cold.

Carl Jung once wrote:

“The greatest burden a child must bear
is the unlived life of their parents.”

That one sits heavy.

Because I think what Jung meant was this:

Where we stay stuck…
our kids often learn to stay stuck too.

If we avoid hard conversations,
they learn avoidance.

If we bury our dreams,
they learn to lower the ceiling on theirs.

If we never deal with our pain,
our anger,
our disappointments…

our children often end up carrying emotional weight
that never belonged to them in the first place.

Kids are always watching.

Not just our words.
Our patterns.
Our reactions.
Our courage.
Our fears.

They build their internal world
from the blueprint we hand them.

Maybe that’s part of why I’ve always told swimmers:

“It’s your swimming.”

Not mine.
Not your parents’.
Yours.

Your discipline.
Your mistakes.
Your growth.
Your joy.
Your responsibility.

Because young people deserve the freedom
to become who they were created to become—
not spend their lives carrying
the weight of who we never became ourselves.

As a husband and father,
that quote made me pause.

What part of my own life
am I still leaving unlived?

Where do I still need to grow?
To heal?
To forgive?
To step forward instead of backward?

Because the greatest gift we give our kids
isn’t perfection.

It’s seeing an adult
still becoming.

Still learning.
Still changing.
Still willing to do the hard inner work.

When we grow,
they grow freer.

When we heal,
they carry less.

When we live honestly and fully,
we hand them a lighter map.

So this week,
take a look inward.

The work you do on yourself today
may become the freedom
your children walk in tomorrow.

Take Care,
Coach Curley

CC’ed
Coach’s Corner by Coach Curley
Thought for the Week
The Things We’ll Never Know

Had a moment the other day.

Standing on deck after practice—
one of the swimmers lingered.
Bag over the shoulder.
Looked like they wanted to say something.
Hesitated.
Waited.
Then… just walked off.

And I caught myself thinking—
I wonder what that was.

And the truth is…
I’ll never know.

Which got me thinking—
Isn’t it strange how much we’ll never know?

The moment someone almost walked up to you…
but backed out.
The message they typed…
then erased.
How much you mattered to someone…
But they got scared.

So many things left unsaid.
So many moments
that never quite made it out into the open.
And they’re gone.

Not because they didn’t matter—
But because they never got spoken.

So maybe there’s something in that.

Maybe we start saying what we feel a little more often.
Not perfectly.
Not with some big buildup.
Just… say it.

Because letting yourself be known—
letting yourself be seen—yeah, it’s uncomfortable.

But so is wondering what could’ve been.
What might’ve happened if you just took the step.

So this week—
don’t let the moment walk out the door.
Say the thing.
Start the conversation.
Take the step.

Because the moments you’re brave enough to speak into—
Those are the ones
that actually turn into something.

Take Care,
Coach Curley

More Amazing pics from the Patriot LC Meet - courtesy of Brad Fletchtner (THANK YOU!!)

AMAZING pics from the Patriot LC Meet - courtesy of Brad Fletchtner (THANK YOU!!)

Great pics from the Patriot LC Invite this past weekend... Fast is in us!!!

CC'ed
Coach's Corner by Coach Curley
Thought for the Week
The Trade Worth Making

“To gain that which is worth having,
It may be necessary to lose everything.”

Now that’s a heavy quote.
One that makes you pause—and maybe even wince a little.

But in coaching, parenting, and marriage,
I’ve found it rings true more often than we’d like to admit.
Sometimes, to grow into who we’re meant to be,
We have to let go of things that once felt essential:
—Our pride.
—Our comfort zones.
—The illusion that we’re in control of everything.

I’ve watched athletes chase greatness and realize that reaching the next level meant making tough decisions:
Waking up five minutes earlier to eat before practice.
Leaving the Homecoming Dance early.
Finding a club to train with while out of town.

I’ve seen parents—myself included—learn that to truly connect with our kids,
We have to lose the need to be right all the time.
We have to trade control for relationship.

And in marriage?
Whew. It’s not about keeping score or winning arguments.
It’s about surrendering your need to be
“the one who’s always right”
And instead being the one who always shows up.

The truth is, the things most worth having—trust, connection, purpose, love—
They don’t come cheap.
They come with sacrifice.

Sometimes it’s letting go of your schedule to make room for someone else’s needs.
Sometimes it’s letting go of being the star to help someone else shine.

But here’s the beautiful part:
When we let go of what we think we need,
We often find what we really do.

The athlete discovers the sacrifice is worth it in the end.
The parent gains a child’s trust.
The spouse gains a partner, not a competitor.

It’s not about losing everything—
It’s about losing the right things to gain what truly matters.

Take Care,
Coach Curley