Captain Grammar Pants

JIVE (Wolof, “to talk disparagingly about someone who isn’t there”) is a noun (both a dance and a slang word for African-American Vernacular English), a verb (both to dance and to taunt), and an adjective (worthless). JIBE is a verb (both to be in accord and to change course while on a ship). GIBE is a noun (an insulting remark), but it is often spelled jibe. Oh, such rich and varied possibilities for errors! Here is my suggestion: use JIVE for dance/speech, use JIBE for being in accord, and use GIBE for an insult. Otherwise, you might talk jive jive while jiving that might not jibe with someone if you offer a gibe while jibing.

The combination of two words to create a new word appears as slang in many languages. This combination is known as a PORTMANTEAU (French, “carry [a] mantle,” but meaning a suitcase with two independent but joined sections). For example, consider brother + romance = bromance; internet + citizen = netizen; teen + between = tween; romance + comedy = romcom; hazardous + material = hazmat; and bold + audacious = bodacious. Sometimes the words leave the realm of slang and become a part of regular speech. The guilty pleasure of joining these words is that they are very much of the moment. Are you ready to chill + relax?

To BEG THE QUESTION is to presuppose an answer. Based in logic (from Latin, “assuming the initial point”), it means to AVOID examining the question. Other names for this phenomenon are “tautology” and “circular reasoning.” The phrase “his bad grammar offends me because his grammar is bad” offers no new information. In addition, a new usage has developed for asking a question, as in “this begs the question of what’s for dinner.” Differentiate “begs the question” and “raises the question,” and you are already on firmer ground. However, expect to hear and see it used incorrectly more often, because most writers have lost track of its roots in logic.

English has two reciprocal pronouns: EACH OTHER and ONE ANOTHER. Use them when you wish to indicate that both subjects of the sentence are performing the same function in reciprocation. The statement “Sue and Joe have already corrected each other’s essays” reveals that they have reciprocated an action (even if the degree of work varies between them!). Reciprocate (Latin, “to move backwards and forwards”) means to act in a way that corresponds to the same action by another person. But do they like one another? It depends on the degree of reciprocation.

Today is a rare moment of confluences (Latin, "a flowing together of two streams"). My conferral of emerita status from The Evergreen State College (today!) includes a mention of Captain Grammar Pants! Readers, I laughed. :)

In recent years we have all witnessed an explosion in the inappropriate use of MYSELF, as in “She and myself went to work.” This word (along with yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, and themselves) is a reflexive pronoun. Use it as an object in a sentence that refers to the person doing the action; for example, “I could kick myself for making that typo,” and “he lost himself in the joy of reading.” In using it to lend emphasis, consider “He himself wrote the essay.” Do NOT, however, use a reflexive pronoun when a regular object pronoun will do, as in “please forward it to myself.” That’s just bad writing!

CUMULATIVE and ACCUMULATIVE come from the same root (Latin, "heaped"), and although they mean the same thing—more or less—subtle differences are at work. "To cumulate" is to gather together. "To accumulate" is to acquire an increasing number. Accumulative is mostly about someone physically accumulating, whereas cumulative is the totality of what was gathered. I can accumulate as much grammatical knowledge as I need, but my cumulative knowledge is less than that of the grammar guardians. When in doubt, use cumulative. When looking at a tall cloud heaped up with a flat bottom, use cumulus!

One single letter can make a difference in the contemporary meaning of a word. AVERSE and ADVERSE (Latin, “turn toward”) are both synonymous with against. I am not averse to changing my mind if I realize that I have made a mistake. Adverse means to be acting in a negative or hostile manner, as in “it was an adverse weather system” or “he was an adverse witness.” The problem lies in usage, as is often the case with words from the same root source whose meanings have diverged. In this case, the distinction is easily made: use averse for a person’s attitude, and adverse for actions or situations.

RANTCH. (Hat tip to Peter Breslin!)

ADVERBS OF FREQUENCY include always, ever, never, often, rarely, sometimes, and usually. These are used before other verbs (as in I USUALLY check my work), after a “to be” verb (as in he is RARELY in class), and after an auxiliary verb (as in she has ALWAYS made mistakes in her writing). Often, sometimes, and usually can begin or end a sentence or a phrase (as in SOMETIMES we misuse them). Only ALWAYS and NEVER can be used with an imperative (command). Always proofread; never mess up it’s and its! Having read these suggestions, you might not EVER forget.