GIVING THE TALK

1 in 4 people with a uterus in the U.S. will have an ab0rtion by the time they’re 45 years old (American Journal of Public Health, 2017).

Why am I talking about ab0rtion on Mother’s Day? Because becoming a parent should be a choice.

If you’re engaging in s*xual activity that involves a peni$ and a vu!va, there’s a chance you can get pregnant. Though highly effective when used correctly, every method of birth control can fail. Emergency contraceptive methods aren’t accessible or effective for all, and not all people know when they’ve engaged in an activity that might have put them at risk for pregnancy.

In spite of best efforts, like access to s*x education and high quality healthcare, many people still find themselves unexpectedly pregnant. While choosing to terminate a pregnancy may be an incredibly difficult decision, it shouldn’t be a shameful experience.

No one should be forced to become a parent who doesn’t feel ready, equipped, supported, or able.

When aborti0n is illegal or when access is limited such that safe methods become inaccessible, people don’t stop terminating unwanted pregnancies, they simply resort to extremely dangerous methods - threatening the life and health of the pregnant person.

This Mother’s Day, let’s celebrate the powerful bond between parent and child. Let’s honor the love, selflessness and compassion that motherhood demands. Let’s show our appreciation for all those who provide us with support and care. Let’s also respect the fact that each person should decide for themselves if, when and how they become a parent.

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March 31st is , but right now, trans people don’t just need visibility - they need protection, advocacy, love, support, respect, resources, and a break from this constant onslaught of indignity, harassment and hate.

Elected leaders across the country are taking steps to eliminate trans people’s ability to exist; from invalidating driver’s licenses to placing bounties on trans people using bathrooms, to banning access to basic life-saving care, there’s a full-scale and coordinated effort to erase, deny and prevent the existence of trans people. It won’t work - trans people have always and will always exist.

Today and always:
* Speak up—silence enables harm
* Defend trans people, online & offline
* Share trans voices (not just headlines)
* Donate to trans-led orgs
* Support mutual aid, especially efforts to help people relocate to safer states
* Support trans-owned businesses
* Call out misinformation
* Push for protections at work/school
* Vote like lives depend on it 🗳️
* Check in. Show up. Stay loud.

Trans people deserve safety, dignity, and the right to make decisions about their own bodies - just like everyone else. The same forces targeting trans people are attacking abortion access and healthcare rights for all. What’s happening now won’t stop with one community. Now is the time for solidarity and a deep recognition that all of our rights are inextricably intertwined.

Yes, it also has educational value!

This time of year we’re expected to eat a lot while simultaneously facing potential scrutiny of our bodies. The presence of comforting and delicious foods alongside pressure from family and friends to appear smaller, skinnier or more “fit” can make for a pretty challenging situation.

For some, holiday gatherings can feel like a welcome, safe and relaxing tradition that they eagerly anticipate. Others feel stressed out, scared, unsafe, or overtly criticized - especially those with a family culture of dieting, or personal struggles with disordered eating and body image.

Let’s enter this season confident in what we know to be true:

▪️Size doesn’t indicate anything about your health, value, or worthiness
▪️Criticism we receive from others says more about them than about us
▪️You don’t need to “earn” the right to eat and enjoy food
▪️Food is essential for survival
▪️Food is one of life’s great pleasures, providing comfort, connection, and joy

We’re taught that pleasure is something we should feel guilty about, but the more we believe that we are entitled to pleasure and fulfillment, the more we stop fearing food and food-centered gatherings, and instead focus on the enjoyment and nourishment that food provides.

Eat what you want, knowing full well that you deserve to enjoy yourself.

And if your great aunt comments on your body, kindly tell her that your body is great and that how you look is none of her damn business.

Touch your boooooobies & chests.
Touch your balls.
Get to know what’s normal!

One of the most important reasons to get to know your body is to learn how your body experiences sensation and touch. One of life’s great joys is the process of getting to know what feels pleasurable to you, feeling empowered to touch yourself & explore the spectrum of sensation, and to learn how to create and receive the most pleasure for your unique body. Your relationship with your body should be about comfort, safety and empowerment.

Another really important reason to touch your body? To check for abnormalities. There are lots of different reasons why your body might feel different from day to day. Bre@sts and chests change in texture, size, and tenderness throughout a person’s monthly cycle: some days they might feel denser, bumpier or squishier. It’s important to know your body’s patterns so you can identify when something is out of place and might benefit from medical support/intervention.

Being proactive about your health care isn’t easy. We’re taught to be passive in the care of our bodies and rely on doctors to be the experts. In reality, you know your body better than anyone, so:
▪️Pay attention to your body’s cues
▪️Touch yourself (all over) to become familiar with how things look and feel
▪️Note when things feel well & good (to establish a baseline sense of your body’s “normal”), but also note when there’s pain or things just don’t feel right
▪️View your relationships with your health care providers as partnerships. Feel empowered to be the expert who consults with them when you think you need care

We deserve to live happy lives. Knowledge of our bodies and our pleasure are important tools to help us on the journey.

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Repeat after me:
A COSTUME IS NEVER CONSENT.

No matter how:
▪️short
▪️tight
▪️low-cut
▪️see-thru
▪️ripped
▪️playful
▪️attractive
▪️s€xual
▪️”suggestive”
▪️”s|utty”
▪️or any other descriptor that might suggest you are aroused by its appearance, no Halloween costume (or any clothing, for that matter) EVER indicates consent. Only a person’s explicit consent can indicate their desire to be s€xual with you.

People often use Halloween as a chance to be creative and try something new; to step out of their comfort zone and express themselves in novel and possibly taboo ways. It’s an opportunity to safely explore the intersections of identity, s€xuality and fashion in a public forum where your exploration will be celebrated in good company.

The costume a person chooses to wear is simply an expression of their creativity and desire to present themself in a new way. It is NOT an invitation for comments, touching, or any other non-consensual s€xual advances. What complicates things is that people often engage in intoxicating activities on Halloween. Let’s remember that being intoxicated isn’t a valid excuse for violating someone else’s boundaries, either!

Attracted to a person’s Halloween costume? Talk to them like a decent human. Engage in direct conversation and gauge whether the attraction is mutual. If they appear uninterested, leave them alone. If they appear too intoxicated to consent, make sure they have a friend to care for them, then leave them alone. All of the normal rules of consent apply on Halloween, just like any other day of the year.

A costume is never consent. Have fun expressing yourself, communicate your wants, needs and boundaries and respect the boundaries of others!