School of Self-Study

Tips for making contemplative practice a part of your days:
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Pick practices that you feel genuinely drawn to or already know you enjoy.
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Do it for yourself and your peace, not for optics or identity.
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Pick a practice amount that is attainable and sustainable.
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Be easy about it. Your self-care is not one more place to shoulder the burden of “not good enough.”
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Want one-on-one support? Ask me about “Gifted & Talented,” the School’s program for Recovering Perfectionists



(I’m a Contemplative Educator; I teach contemplative skills and tools. I’m not a therapist or a doctor, y’all! It’s not within my legal or ethical scope of practice to assess mental health, nor provide diagnosis, treatment planning or treatment for any mental health or substance use condition. I’d be so happy to help connect you to resources outside my scope.)

Are you operating your human vehicle with Spare Tire Strategies?
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What is a Spare Tire Strategy?
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Your spare tire strategies are composed of who you had to be and how you had to perform in order to stay safe and connected.
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They were excellent at getting you out of a tough spot, but they were not built to last a lifetime.
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If you’ve noticed that these methods aren’t working very well, know that another way is possible.
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Ask me how to notice and gradually swap out your spare tires for fresh ones that can carry you where you really want to go.



(I’m a Contemplative Educator; I teach contemplative skills and tools. I’m not a therapist or a doctor, y’all! It’s not within my legal or ethical scope of practice to assess mental health, nor provide diagnosis, treatment planning or treatment for any mental health or substance use condition. I’d be so happy to help connect you to resources outside my scope.)

There is much to be unfolded and enjoyed in relationship to yourself.
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In this intimacy, you’ll find your inner system is rich with resources.
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You have a personal reservoir of intuition, wisdom, clarity, courage, power, resilience, and skill.
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It’s always there, but the only access points are within you.
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You won’t find your way home following someone else’s map.
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Follow your own lead.



(I’m a Contemplative Educator; I teach contemplative skills and tools. I’m not a therapist or a doctor, y’all! It’s not within my legal or ethical scope of practice to assess mental health, nor provide diagnosis, treatment planning or treatment for any mental health or substance use condition. I’d be so happy to help connect you to resources outside my scope.)

Is consistency boring, or are you afraid of change?
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Our days are filled with all kinds of automatic repetition.
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You don’t resist this consistency, so why is it so hard to maintain new practices?
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The healthy things we claim to want are different from what we’ve had, and they will change our lives.
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You’ll get good at whatever you repeatedly do.
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Choose your consistency wisely!
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This is how we become active, collaborative co-creators with life.



(I’m a Contemplative Educator; I teach contemplative skills and tools. I’m not a therapist or a doctor, y’all! It’s not within my legal or ethical scope of practice to assess mental health, nor provide diagnosis, treatment planning or treatment for any mental health or substance use condition. I’d be so happy to help connect you to resources outside my scope.)

It’s entirely normal to have needs that vary across seasons.
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Your needs are meetable and it’s ok to change.
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You don’t have to worry or spin a big story to explain.
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Your job is just to notice and respond to what’s there.
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No one outside you can ever know you as well as you can know yourself.
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You can trust yourself, and that knowing.



(I’m a Contemplative Educator; I teach contemplative skills and tools. I’m not a therapist or a doctor, y’all! It’s not within my legal or ethical scope of practice to assess mental health, nor provide diagnosis, treatment planning or treatment for any mental health or substance use condition. I’d be so happy to help connect you to resources outside my scope.)

Try to see it as Both/And, rather than either/or.
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If you witness and affirm yourself, outside support remains important.
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If others witness and affirm you, it’s still really helpful to support yourself.
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If you were alone a lot in caring for yourself, it can feel like more of the same to be alone again.
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But you’re not an abandoned kid anymore. You grew up. You got out.
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We have the capacity to show up for ourselves now in the ways we needed before.
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If you can be that compassionate presence for yourself, you’ll have a light inside you that’ll illuminate your path no matter where you go.
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(I’m a Contemplative Educator; I teach contemplative skills and tools. I’m not a therapist or a doctor, y’all! It’s not within my legal or ethical scope of practice to assess mental health, nor provide diagnosis, treatment planning or treatment for any mental health or substance use condition. I’d be so happy to help connect you to resources outside my scope.)

Did you know School of Self-Study has a sweet, bimonthly newsletter? The next one goes out this Friday and will feature the usual love letter plus an exclusive offer for some free swag. Hop in here:

What are we up to?

Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed, so I took my own advice and went back to basics.
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I realized I was hungry and restless, so I fed myself some hummus and took myself for a walk.
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I’ve radically overhauled my life many times. Quit jobs and relationships. Moved cross country. Sometimes you do need that.
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Other times, it’s just a snack and a walk, or a nap, or a bath. Solutions can be immediately, easily accessible and low cost.
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Trust the small and simple. Start there.
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(I’m a Contemplative Educator; I teach contemplative skills and tools. I’m not a therapist or a doctor, y’all! It’s not within my legal or ethical scope of practice to assess mental health, nor provide diagnosis, treatment planning or treatment for any mental health or substance use condition. I’d be so happy to help connect you to resources outside my scope.)

Are you accountable to yourself, or only to what other people need or ask of you?
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Being accountable is an important part of adulthood, but if we’re only accountable to others, we leave ourselves out.
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You are worthy of care and respect from a variety of sources, including from yourself.
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Giving without consideration for yourself is a recipe for resentment.
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You’re the only person with which you’ll spend every moment of your life.
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Build love and trust into that relationship by answering the whispers of desire and yearning and need echoing through the sacred halls of your body.
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(I’m a Contemplative Educator; I teach contemplative skills and tools. I’m not a therapist or a doctor, y’all! It’s not within my legal or ethical scope of practice to assess mental health, nor provide diagnosis, treatment planning or treatment for any mental health or substance use condition. I’d be so happy to help connect you to resources outside my scope.)