Play to Learn Consulting

Recruited my mom to taste test finds for my particular, zesty, spunky 3 year old ARFID client. She’s currently surviving on 5 foods and that brand loyalty is as real as her fear, which lives deep inside her body and her mind. It is her truth and that is where we are starting with therapy.
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The other truth is that today I’m not a parent. And to be honest, I don’t know what it’s like for her mom to watch her struggle with eating. The struggle isn’t just inside of this highly intuitive girl. Eating challenges and disorders are a family struggle. BUT (and I use that word infrequently) I do know how silent eating disorders can be and what it’s like to hide them from those you love.
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So, I may not be a mother today, and yet I can still show up for this family with compassion and gracefully guide them in their ARFID journey.
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For those curious about my unique approach to ARFID, I’ve created a course just for you! Check out the link 🔗 in my bio to access The “Not So Picky” Picky Eater. Your families and clients will thank you!

If I have to hear (again) that a 6 year old autistic child is getting suspended from a program that was specifically designed for autistic kids, I may lose it. But, before I do, let me tell you what others won’t:
1- telling a kid you love them and then taking away what they worked so hard for is showing them how conditional your relationship is
2- negating what the child is saying because it doesn’t fit within your idea of appropriateness is showing them how conditional your relationship is
3- calling the child aggressive and unsafe when they’re in emotional distress is showing them how conditional your relationship is
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Autistic and ADHD kids aren’t here to make your life difficult. They’re here to shed some light onto what it’s like to be neurodivergent.
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If you’re ready to level up your therapy game, I have a course that will show you how. Link 🔗 in bio.

When parents of autistic or ADHD kids reach out, it’s not because they found me first. It’s because they’ve struggled until they found me. It doesn’t matter if their child is 3 or 8 or 15. They’ve struggled hard!
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So when I ask, “What had you reach out now?” I hear:
- I’ve gone the behavior route and it’s not working
- His behaviors are escalating in school and they’re at a loss…and frankly so are we
- She got kicked out of school because she had a tantrum
- Everyone is telling me to just be stricter, but I know it doesn’t work for her
- My family says I’m too soft on him and he’s getting away with everything
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As a parent, trust yourself. Trust that you are putting in the effort. Trust that you know your child. All you need is a bit of support so that you can prioritize connection, ensure competence, and enhance the feeling of autonomy. Everything else will fall into place.
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If you’ve been struggling with behavior challenges, check out the link in my bio for your FREE NDChild Blueprint. And send this to a friend who’s been looking for me 😉

It’s always that 1 disgruntled person that wants to sink you. And darn the negativity bias is strong. BUT what I’ve learned as a neurodivergent therapist for autistic and ADHD kids is that they have me to fight for them! Growing up, I didn’t have anyone to let me know how my brain was uniquely wired. Plus, as a girl, it was better to keep my head down, excel beyond my breaking point, and forgo my own needs for the sake of others.
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Today, I know better. I know the roots of self-abandonment. I know how quickly protectors show up for autistic and ADHD kids. I know how to tap into my 17+ years of knowledge and 40+ years of lived experience to advocate for those who cannot yet advocate for themselves.
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So, if you thought your keyboard warrior skills were going to cause me harm, sorry (not sorry) to disappoint. And, in the spirit of Good Will Hunting, “How do like them apples?”

It’s been a long therapy day, but when your nieces call to have a 5 minute dance party, you know it’s not about the dance party. It’s about connection. It’s about the relationship. It’s about meeting a need.
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I hear it all the time in my therapeutic relationships. It doesn’t come out as, “I need to talk to you” or “I’d like to maintain the trust between us.” It comes out as:
❤️ you know no one tells me anything…except you
🧡 why can’t we get rid of pain
💛 can we play the animal game
💚 Peena write numbers
💙 make a rainbow road?
💜 I was thinking of the dinosaur idea
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However connection comes your way, listen. Your (autistic or ADHD or PDA) child isn’t a problem to be fixed. They are a nervous system in need.

You may not have been looking for that research 🧐 but I found it for you anyway. I did a deep dive into “screen time use and HPA axis upregulation.” What in the world does that mean?
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It means that the messages your adrenal glands (which sit on top of your kidneys) are sending up toward your pituitary gland (base of your brain) and higher up to your hypothalamus (deep within your brain connecting the nervous system to the endocrine system) are essentially a cry for help!
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Regulation isn’t learned from a screen. It comes from co-regulation, deep connection and a secure child-caregiver relationship.

Language nuances are part of therapy dynamics, especially when you focus on the relationship. For autistic and ADHD kids past relationships have been fueled by disconnect, broken trust, or a lack of support during the times they need a regulated adult the most (yes, the times of chaos and disarray).
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These one liners are a way for you to see the challenge from a kid’s perspective. Of course, a “no” is needed during situations where a quick reaction is a must. The other times…you can hold a supportive boundary while remaining connected. It’s like a formula 🔬
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The kind of formula that I will be breaking down during my live webinar on Thursday, February 19th. It’s a full day filled with the complexities of executive function skills, areas where autistic and ADHD kids struggle, how to encourage and know when to pull back, an SO much more!
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Click the PESI 🔗 in bio to register. And no, you don’t want to miss it 😉

This was a doozy! When advocacy is labeled as aggression, start to reconsider. As a parent, is this what you really want for your autistic or ADHD child? As a professional, are behavior plans really going to drive connection? Sure, you’ll make a child compliant. But at what cost?
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There is another way! I’m doing a live webinar with PESI on February 19th. I submitted my slide deck and am so ready to give the world a different perspective on behavior through the lens of executive function skills and relationships. Come spend the day with me on Thursday, February 19th. You won’t regret it! 🔗 in bio to register 😉

I hear these terms all the time: aggressive, behavioral, noncompliant, oppositional, violent. And what’s used for kids who struggle with executive function skills? All the nonsense that doesn’t work: sticker charts, freshly outlined behavior plans, rewards, punishments, and of course, calls to parents to tell them, “Your child pushed someone and that’s inappropriate!” Right…blame the child rather than change the system.
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What’s missing isn’t more sensory “corners” or fidgets. It’s actual training and a deeper understanding of what it takes for an ADHD or autistic or AuDHD child to be in school. Seriously. Just to step into the building. It’s the kind of education that should be required.
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I know I can’t make it a requirement (yet). What I can do is offer it myself! I’m teaching a live webinar through on February 19th. Link in bio to register. Looking for a discount code? I got that too! Comment CODE and I’ll DM you.
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Let’s bring this discussion into all schools!