Expecting a second baby? Things are different in SO MANY ways. I find that my families expecting their second baby appreciate learning just how different it can be.
Prelabor does a lot of work for you. The labor you do in advance of labor is often more dramatic than with your first. You might have off-and-on-again labor for days or even weeks before labor actually starts. This is your body getting work done, little by little. There is nothing “false” about it!
2. Labor can move quickly. During your birth, you might still have a good amount of early labor, but once it gets going, things might progress quickly. People often wait until the last possible moment to go to the hospital, especially if they went in way too early with their first. Don’t wait too long with your second! Your body knows how to birth at this point.
3. Parenting two!!??!!?/ It’s hard to feel like you are not giving enough to either of your babies. Here is what a wise friend said to me at the end of my first year parenting two little ones: “Your first baby got your attention and your second baby got your body.” It’s true. Your second baby will not be the sole focus of your attention, and this is just fine. Your second child is being born into the excitement of a family. It is different and it is okay.
4. Your older child’s reaction to baby? Your big kid is going to have big highs and some low lows with the arrival of their sibling. They might seem overjoyed and hyper one moment, and devastated about a seemingly minuscule thing the next. Ride the wave with them. They are discharging the tension they are feeling with their big emotions. Learning that the sun does not rise and set on them alone is a hard lesson, but ultimately a good one. Do you best to stay in close with them through the storms when they come. Besides, once they look at their little sibling as a friend, they have a built in playmate and life gets a good deal easier.
For more practical information and emotional support as you transition into a bigger family, please join me at my childbirth refresher next Wednesday, June 24, 7:30-9:15 PM EST. One night only! Live online!
Mindful Birth NY - Mary Esther Malloy
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Mindful Birth NY classes offer in-depth, highly practical preparation & support for birth/parenting.
Also offering doula services, new moms' groups, toddlers-and-up parenting groups, workshops, and The Mindful Cesarean.
Every parent wants their birth experience to be straightforward. For many of us, however, our journey to parenthood can be filled with unexpected challenges, like, for example, an unexpected cesarean.
This year, 1 in 3 pregnant people will birth by cesarean in the U.S. Whether a cesarean is planned or unplanned, the experience - both physical and emotional - can sometimes be challenging.
Join Mary Esther Malloy and other parents to work through your birth experience in a workshop developed for families with ANY unexpected difficulty in birth or postpartum. Live online.
📅 WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24
⏰ 12-1:45 PM EST
What to Expect :
💫 Find peace with your experience with practices that for years Mary Esther has shared with families healing from challenging births
💫 Discuss health and healing with other parents
💫 Consider options for future pregnancies (including VBAC and repeat cesarean)
No matter if your baby was born last month, last year, or many years ago, we welcome you to join us in a safe and supportive environment.
Thinking about healthy mindsets for birth and parenting, here we are contemplating “horticultural time.”
There is no question that childbirth unfolds on its own timeframe. And young children teach us pretty quickly that society’s industrial clock is not their main organizing principle. In fact, it is rather heartbreaking to get them onto industrial time, hurrying them along to nursery school simply because it is almost nine o’clock, when all they want to do is smell the flowers.
In her beautiful book Mindful Birthing, Midwife Nancy Bardacke contrasts the industrial clock with another clock, one defined by the rhythms of living things and the cycles of nature. She calls this horticultural time. Holding this in mind helps us meet the pace of labor with greater equanimity, and to slow ourselves down to meet our children where they are… in the present. 🙂
For a childbirth class that readies you for more than just the day of labor, consider joining us!
I have two birth classes starting in August:
🌊 4-Week Summer Mini Series starts 8/10
🌊 8-Week August Comprehensive Series starts 8/12
Live online for ease of access. Check out my website for childbirth class info (and more).
05/28/2026
They don’t just hand out VBACs where I’m from. No. In NYC, you work for a VBAC with great determination and the hope of a straightforward labor. This family had determination in buckets, but did not have a typical labor. And they did it. The finale was such a joy that even our initially skeptical doctor had high praise for this mom’s incredible presence and was overheard (by me) bragging to her colleagues about this beautiful delivery. Here’s the tale:
Baby 1 was breech and ultimately born by cesarean. Things went well but my clients felt that if conditions permitted, they would do all they could for an unmedicated vaginal birth next time.
With Baby 2, labor started slowly and continued to progress over many, many nights. This couple’s shared patience was beyond impressive. Finally, the work was next level and we left at dawn for the hospital. TENS on her back, her mindfulness training and eye mask keeping her in the zone, she felt her way step-by-step, in darkness, into the hospital, hugging her husband with each surge. She was 6 cm.
She worked through wave after wave with a grace that’s hard to describe. A few hours later she was 8cm. The doctor confirmed my suspicions, the baby was OP.
Inspired by VBAC moms I’ve supported (almost as if they were pulling for this mama & baby), I said, “Don’t worry. Just stay upright and keep moving.” She took on the project with gusto. Walking, straddling the bed, arms up, squatting. She knew an exam would come soon. Suddenly, she started dancing. I mean dancing. She rocked this child down and around & finally to 10cm.
Pushing in bed, contractions spaced out. The doctor thought pitocin a good idea. This mom did not. She hopped out of bed and didn’t get back in until the last minutes. She pushed on the toilet. She pushed walking and drop squatting, wrist-to-wrist with her husband. I joined her on the floor with each squat, candle in hand to see the baby’s movement. The doctor let me know she would not be dropping to the floor. But with the next contraction, doctor & nurse caught the spirit and crouched beside me, rewarded by a sizable bit of baby’s head emerging. Soon after, a beautiful little boy was born into our world.
05/24/2026
Bo graduated college...!!! This scholar-athlete is a remarkable young man and we could not be prouder of him.
Bard turned out to be a great place for Bo -- 4 years of cross country and track, an impressive history department, travel abroad, academic conferences and his wonderful friends.
And graduation was SO moving -- seeing the impact of Bard's refugee programs and the famous Bard Prison Initiative. With so much pain in the world, it was a balm for the soul to witness an abundance of support for human potential, no matter the circumstances. Truly inspiring.
Bo, we love you! Congratulations! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
05/21/2026
5/27- Parenting Toolkit 4- Play and Laughter: Diffusing Power Struggles- Building Cooperation through Connection and Fun-the science of how laughter dissolves tension and shifts power dynamics. A webinar for parents of children of any age.
📅 Wednesday from 12-12:45 PM EST
6/24- Cesarean Healing Workshop- Join other parents to work through your experience of birth in a workshop developed for families with ANY unexpected difficulty in birth - vaginal or cesarean. No matter if your baby was born last month, last year, or many years ago.
📅 Wednesday from 12-1:45pm EST
6/24- Childbirth Refresher Course- One evening refresher course for second (and third!) time parents.
📅 Wednesday from 7:30pm-9:15pm EST
8/10- Childbirth Mini Series- a mindful birth and parenting comprehensive mini series that’s about more than just the big day.
📅 Mondays from 6-8:45 PM
8/12- Childbirth Comprehensive Class with Practice Intensive- a mindful birth and parenting comprehensive series that’s about more than just the big day.
📅 Wednesdays from 6-8:45 PM EST, plus 1 Sunday from 1-4 PM EST with practice intensive 9/13 from 1-6 PM EST
💻 ALL SESSIONS ARE LIVE ONLINE. JOIN FROM ANYWHERE!
For more information visit my website. Link in bio! And DM me with any questions ❤️
05/18/2026
Parenting Toolkit 3️⃣ is happening THIS WEDNESDAY!
Dr. Aisha Williams and I are so excited to continue with our May webinar series. This week:
Warm Authority: Setting Limits with Love
A Focus on Sleep and Other Major Transitions
How do we say “no” without losing the connection—or, for that matter, losing our cool? This webinar focuses on tools and perspective to bring a warm authority to setting limits with children. We explore how to handle setting limits around off-track behavior and take a deep dive into major transitions, including nighttime weaning, moving to a big-kid bed, changing beloved routines, or welcoming a new sibling. Learn a practice to support how to set firm, clear limits while staying emotionally available, helping your child feel safe and secure even when they don’t get their way.
Setting limits doesn’t have to mean ‘mean.’ It’s about Warm Authority.
Link in bio to register. And as always, DM me with any questions you might have! ❤️
05/13/2026
Why is doula care becoming so popular?
Join and for a FREE virtual lunch hour workshop to find out!
We will discuss:
🌺 What a doula does before, during, and after a birth
🌺 How to go about finding the right doula for you
🌺 How you might be able to get a doula fee covered
🌺 When the best time in pregnancy is to hire a doula
🌺 PLUS- open Q&A on any pregnancy or birth related questions. Step away from Google!!
Welcome to: people who are pregnant or planning to become pregnant and their partners (or other family members who want to understand).
FRIDAY, MAY 15 at noon
Link to register is in bio!
05/12/2026
5/13- Parenting Toolkit 2- Meltdown Magic: Listening for the Message- a webinar designed to a give parents a bigger perspective that can help transform draining meltdowns into a foundation for greater emotional intelligence and trust. A webinar parents of children of any age.
📅 Wednesday from 12-12:45 PM EST
5/15- FREE Pregnancy Workshop- Why is Doula Care So Popular and How Do I Know if it’s for Me? Join two doulas—including one of the nations most experienced doulas—to talk about it all. Open pregnancy/birth Q&A at the end.
📅 Friday from 12-12:45 PM EST
5/20- Parenting Toolkit 3- Warm Authority: Setting Limits with Love- A Focus on Sleep and Other Major Transitions, as well as how to say “no” without losing the connection. A webinar for parents of children of any age.
📅 Wednesday from 12-12:45 PM EST
5/27- Parenting Toolkit 4- Play and Laughter: Diffusing Power Struggles- Building Cooperation through Connection and Fun-the science of how laughter dissolves tension and shifts power dynamics. A webinar for parents of children of any age.
📅 Wednesday from 12-12:45 PM EST
6/24- Cesarean Healing Workshop- Join other parents to work through your experience of birth in a workshop developed for families with ANY unexpected difficulty in birth - vaginal or cesarean. No matter if your baby was born last month, last year, or many years ago.
📅 Wednesday from 12-1:45pm EST
6/24- Childbirth Refresher Course- One evening refresher course for second (and third!) time parents.
📅 Wednesday from 7:30pm-9:15pm EST
💻 ALL SESSIONS ARE LIVE ONLINE. JOIN FROM ANYWHERE!
For more information visit my website. Link in bio! And DM me with any questions ❤️
05/11/2026
THANK YOU to everyone who came to our first of four parenting webinar series- Special Time: The Power of Presence. It was inspiring to see how many parents want to put in the work to make sure their kids feel their presence.
NEXT UP: Meltdown Magic: Listening for the Message ❤️ Navigating Our Children’s Big Emotions with a Bigger Perspective with Mary Esther Malloy and Dr. Aisha Williams.
Meltdowns aren’t “bad behavior”—they are a physiological release. We explore how to stay anchored when your child’s emotions boil over. Instead of distracting, bribing, or joining the meltdown yourself, we consider a bigger perspective that can help you hold space for the hard time your child is sharing with you, transforming these draining meltdowns into a foundation for greater emotional intelligence and trust.
This Wednesday at noon EST.
The link to register is in my bio. And as always, DM me with any questions. Really looking forward to this one.
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