10/21/2021
BH
This past Shabbos my wife and I were bestowed with a Heavenly gift of becoming a Zayde and Bubby. It is an absolutely exhilarating moment, because as parents we invest our souls in our children, we feel their pain and we celebrate their triumphs, and we pray for their success.
בני בנים הרי הם כבנים
and in a way a grandchild is a child. They say you get all the perks of having a child, without the responsibilities.
But it's more than that. There's something unique about a grandchild....
As we prepare for a bris this coming Shabbos my daughter, who is now a mammy, commented: "Do we really need to hurt the child this way....?". It's what every parent feels as they lead their child to the bris, it feels like you're offering a sacrifice to Hashem....and as your child cries, you cry. Everyone else enjoys themselves, but the parent feels the sacrifice....in their bones....
And you know what, it's only the beginning. The soul of a parent is vested in their child. That little baby captures your heart. And as he grows, you realize your heart is intertwined with his
I looked at my precious daughter and I said: "But I want to tell you the greatest sacrifice of all.....letting go..... because your child doesn't have the same intensity of feelings about you as you do about them. He is his own person and he will want to make that known. He will want to ride his bike on his own, and walk up the stairs for the first time without you, and make his own decisions. And he will want to leave home one day, for his own independence.
And your soul might ache....
But to be a parent means to accept the individuality of each child and relinquish control and to give the child space to be their own person.
And if you live a life of authenticity, then this child whom your neshama is bound to, will, one day, emulate you. Albeit with their own distinct touch
Then when that child one day has her own child and she senses the mesirus nefesh that comes with raising a child, then she will appreciate the sacrifice of being a parent.
Such is the power of a grandchild.
Lechayim! May we always share simchas in good health and happiness
Rabbi Vigler