Briana MacWilliam Inc.

The can’t-miss attachment book you’ll blow through in 3 days on summer vacay by the pool, and keep thinking about for years.

I recently read an early copy of Amir Levine’s new book, Secure, and wanted to share why I think it’s such an important evolution in the attachment conversation.
(Thank you for sending and !)

Like many people, I first discovered Amir through Attached, which was one of the most catalyzing books I read at a pivotal point in my life. It gave me language for patterns I had been living but didn’t fully understand yet, and in many ways, helped spark the work I do today around attachment healing.

What I appreciate about Secure is that it’s grounded in neuroscience, but still deeply practical.

Amir introduces the acronym CARRP: consistent, available, responsive, reliable, and predictable. He connects this to SIMIs, or seemingly insignificant minor interactions.

And I love this because secure love is so often built in the little things.

The answered text.
The steady tone.
The small moment of reassurance.
The signal that says, “I’m here. You matter. We’re okay.”

For anxious partners, this can be a powerful antidote to attachment gaslighting, that painful spiral where you judge yourself for having needs, or feel anxious about feeling anxious.

For avoidant partners, I appreciate that this book does not pathologize the need for space. It offers a more nuanced view of distance, autonomy, sensitivity, and emotional overwhelm.

And for fearful avoidant or disorganized attachment, Amir offers the beautiful image of the tightrope walker, trying not to fall into anxiety on one side or avoidance on the other.

Overall, Secure is compassionate, substantial, and deeply useful. It reminds us that secure love is built through repeated experiences of steadiness, responsiveness, and care.

If you’re interested in attachment theory, nervous system healing, or creating more secure relationships, I highly recommend checking out Secure by Amir Levine.❤️

I recently had an amazing opportunity to do an interview with Julie Mennano, a renowned attachment informed couples therapist with more than 1 million followers , and author of the book “Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime.”

We had a wonderful and lively conversation, and I was so excited to share it, only to realize that we forgot to record it. 🫤🥹

But that’s not gonna stop me from talking about what I love about her book, which is practical, grounded, and emotionally intelligent! 📖

Julie takes attachment theory and makes it deeply usable for couples in particular, helping readers understand what secure love actually looks like, not as some perfect, conflict-free relationship, but as a bond where both people can return to safety, repair ruptures, and stay connected through vulnerability.

One of the parts I found especially helpful was her discussion of the “four C’s” in relationships: comfort, connection, cooperation, and conflict.

She explains how all couples experience discomfort in these areas, but negative cycles begin when attachment wounds get activated and partners start protecting themselves instead of reaching for each other.

I also loved her section on how “working on the relationship” can sometimes become its own negative cycle, especially when one partner is anxiously pursuing repair and the other feels criticized or overwhelmed.

Rather than asking, “Who is the problem?” she helps couples ask, “What pattern are we getting pulled into?”

And from there, repair becomes about slowing down, creating emotional safety, and validating what is tender underneath the reaction.

This book is a compassionate, clear, and incredibly useful guide for anyone who wants to understand their relationship patterns and build a more secure, lasting love.

It has my highest recommendation!

Can we talk about this part that no one prepares you for?

You start doing the work…

You become more aware…

And suddenly, your relationships feel more confusing instead of less.

You’re noticing things you didn’t see before.

You’re feeling emotions you used to override.

You’re questioning dynamics you once tolerated.

And part of you wonders…

“Wait… shouldn’t I feel better by now?”

This is where so many people get discouraged.

Because the expectation is: healing = calm, clarity, and instant peace.

But the reality?

Healing your attachment style doesn’t just make you feel better.

It makes you feel everything.

The confusion you avoided.

The resentment you suppressed.

The grief you bypassed.

The fear you managed by overgiving, overthinking, or shutting down.

At the same time…

You’ll start to experience something new:

-Moments of real clarity.
- A deeper connection to yourself.
- The courage to set boundaries that actually honor you.
- Glimpses of what authentic love really feels like.

This is the in-between space.

Where old patterns are dissolving, but new ones aren’t fully embodied yet.

And if you don’t understand this stage, it’s easy to think you’re doing something wrong and go back to what’s familiar.

You’re not stuck.

You’re expanding your capacity.

This is what it looks like to move from insight into real change.

If you’re in this space right now, you don’t need more information.

You need support learning how to be with what’s coming up without abandoning yourself.

That’s exactly what we practice inside Secure Spark Studio.

A weekly space to stay grounded, connected, and supported as you build secure love from the inside out.If you’re ready for that kind of support,

👇Comment “spark studio” for more.

Most people try to heal their relationships by thinking their way through them.

But your patterns don’t live in your thoughts.
They live in your body, your nervous system, and the deeper parts of you that remember.

I’m Briana,
a licensed, board-certified art therapist and attachment coach with 20 years of experience.

But more importantly,
I do this differently.

Because I don’t just talk about your patterns.
I help you experience your way out of them.

Through somatic art therapy and attachment work, we go beyond insight and into integration.

We slow things down.
We get into the body.
We use creative, experiential practices to access what talking alone can’t reach.

And we connect you back to your spiritual core,
the part of you that already knows what’s true, what’s safe, and what’s aligned.

Because when that part of you comes online…

✨ You stop confusing anxiety for intuition
✨ You stop chasing chemistry that costs you your peace
✨ You stop abandoning yourself to stay connected
✨ You start feeling grounded, clear, and deeply self-trusting in love

What I bring to the table is a bridge
between psychology and spirituality
between insight and embodiment
between who you’ve been and who you actually are when you feel safe to be yourself

This work doesn’t just change how you think about love.

It changes how you experience it.

If you’d like support on that journey, you can work with me through private coaching, the Studio membership, or my online courses.

To learn more, check out the link in my bio.

Here’s what most people don’t realize: What feels like “chemistry” in the beginning is not always compatibility.

Sometimes, it’s your body recognizing something familiar.

The push-pull.
The unpredictability.
The waiting.
The wondering.

That spike you feel when they text back after pulling away?

That’s not necessarily connection.

It can be your nervous system cycling through stress, relief, and anticipation.

Intensity often feels magnetic because it activates survival patterns:

• hyper-focus on their cues
• overthinking what they meant
• feeling euphoric when things are good
• crashing when they pull back

Your body starts confusing activation with aliveness.

But real intimacy feels different.

It feels like:

• being able to relax around someone
• not needing to perform to feel chosen
• feeling grounded after connection, not depleted
• trusting what’s true without chasing certainty

At first, this kind of steadiness can feel unfamiliar.

Even boring.

Because your body may be more practiced in an attachment style that understands chaos rather than calm.

That’s why healing isn’t just mindset work.

You can’t think your way out of a body that still expects love to feel like tension.

You have to teach your system, through repeated somatic experiences, that safety can be exciting too.

That’s exactly what we practice inside Secure Spark Studio: weekly somatic tools, guided practices, and creative support to help you stop mistaking intensity for intimacy and start feeling safe in love.

If you’re ready for love that feels grounded, reciprocal, and real, come join us.

👇Comment “SPARK STUDIO” and I’ll send you the details.

As a therapist, I wish every woman in an unhealthy relationship knew this:If they like you, you won’t have to decode everything.

But that doesn’t mean you won’t encounter confusion.

Healthy love can feel confusing at first; not because it’s chaotic, but because ease might feel unfamiliar.

Someone being clear.

Someone being consistent.

Someone considering your feelings without games.

That kind of steadiness can feel disorienting when your nervous system is used to mixed signals.

But there’s a difference between confusion that comes from unfamiliar safety…and confusion that comes from inconsistency, ambiguity, and unmet needs.

Hear me when I say: The right relationship feels like ease, even when you’re still learning how to trust it.

And the more you soften into that ease, the clearer your emotional truth becomes.

What’s one piece of wisdom you’d add to this list?

👇Drop it in the caption or comments, and 💌share this with the bestie who needs the reminder.

My secret confession of going from an insecure attachment style to secure attachment and a conscious relationship. 🤫💕 Feeling hopeful or discouraged? Let me know! 👇