Life Transition Doulas

Here’s an invaluable resource for finding green burial options organized by state from The Modern Mortician. 💜

We can plan for our own deaths. Knowing and embracing your values and wishes is the first step towards creating a plan. This is such a beautiful and tender story of a woman who knew exactly what she wanted for her final days. 💜

When her cancer came back, she was really clear about what she wanted this time. No hospital room. No machines. No rotating strangers. She wanted to be at home. In her own bed. Window open. Wind in the trees. Her people nearby.

As things changed, her family stayed close. Someone was always sitting with her taking turns reading, brushing her hair, holding her hand when talking felt like too much. When she died, it wasn’t dramatic. It was quiet. One breath… then stillness. The whole room just felt calm.

Later, her daughter warmed water and brought washcloths. The family washed her together. Slow. Careful. Tender. They dressed her in her favorite blue silk pajamas. Exactly how she wanted it. No chemicals. No rush. No strangers taking over.

People came by all day. Food in their hands. Stories. Tears. Some laughter, too. They sat with her, touched her hand, said what they needed to say.

When it was time, they laid out her shroud handmade by Sanctum Shrouds and gathered around her again. Everyone placed a rose. One by one. The whole room smelled like a garden.

The next morning, they carried her out to the family van. No hearse. No casket showroom moment. Just sunlight, trees, bees buzzing somewhere nearby.
At the green burial cemetery, she was laid into the forest wrapped in her shroud, roses still around her. Moss. Soil. Roots. Back to the place she loved.

Her husband said something I’ll never forget while we placed the last rose on the grave: “No fuss. Just the forest telling her story.”

When someone dies, I want to assure you that the clock doesn’t start ticking the way most people think it does.

You don’t have to rush, you don’t have to immediately call for removal, you don’t have to give up those first sacred hours.

A home funeral or vigil gives people the option of keeping their person at home for a period of time before cremation or burial. It can be a few hours, up to a day or two (depending on circumstances and body cooling options). It can include body washing, dressing, storytelling, music, prayer, silence, grandchildren visiting, dogs laying at their feet, the works.

It doesn’t have to be complicated, doesn’t have to be dramatic, either. This moment in time can be tender.

This is where an End of Life Guide or Death Doula can step in when family isn't prepared or wanting to assert their desires outside what society considers the "norm.".

A death doula doesn’t replace the funeral home. We work alongside them when needed. In short, a End of Life Guide, or Doula can help families:
• Understand what is legally allowed in their state
• Slow the process down so decisions aren’t made in shock
• Teach safe body care practices (cooling, positioning, bathing)
• Create ritual that feels personal instead of procedural
• Coordinate timing with cremation or burial
• Advocate when families want to participate in meaningful ways

Many people don’t realize you can sit with your person, touch them, comb their hair, say what you couldn't or didn't get to say.
Let children ask questions, let the family dog come in and understand.l, let life unfold with death in the room.

Home funeral before cremation.
Home vigil before green burial.
Time to exhale.

Death care does not have to be cold or clinical; It can be hands-on, heart-led, and gounded.

If this is something you’d want for yourself or your family, talk about it now. Planning ahead is what protects your wishes later.
And if you ever need guidance navigating those first hours, that’s exactly what I’m here for. 🌿

Melissa, The Modern Mortician
End-of-Life Guide & Funeral Consultant

Hope to see you there. 😊

Using a gentle and loving approach, we guide you through three very special workshops to create an Advance Care Plan that—like your fingerprint—is designed specifically for you. ✨

This Willow series is truly a perfect gift for yourself; a chance to create a plan for the future rooted deeply in your personal values. 🌿

Join us to turn "what if" into "I’m prepared."

Each session starts at 2pm on 3 consecutive Saturdays. Please register using the below links:
Jan 31st:
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924279

Feb 7:
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924280

Feb 14: ❤️
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924282

A gentle tap on the shoulder about tomorrow’s Willow’s Workshop 🌿

We’ll be focusing on advance directives—what they are, why they matter, and how they fit into your overall end-of-life plan. Having these documents in place can bring you a deep sense of peace, knowing your wishes are clearly outlined.

And just as importantly, they’re a true gift to your loved ones and caregivers, sparing them from having to guess what matters most to you. 💜🩷

Please join us for this session that will be packed with critical information. We’ll send you home with essential forms., along with a DIY guide. 📄

Using a gentle and loving approach, we guide you through three very special workshops to create an Advance Care Plan that—like your fingerprint—is designed specifically for you. ✨

This Willow series is truly a perfect gift for yourself; a chance to create a plan for the future rooted deeply in your personal values. 🌿

Join us to turn "what if" into "I’m prepared."

Each session starts at 2pm on 3 consecutive Saturdays. Please register using the below links:
Jan 31st:
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924279

Feb 7:
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924280

Feb 14: ❤️
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924282

💚💚💚💚

Our Volunteers help make our garden grow! We are so grateful for all of our Volunteers at ABODE, they are the foundation of our organization. Here are a few members of our Gardening Group who spent this past Wednesday beautifying our back yard.

There are many ways to serve at ABODE. Learn more and apply HERE --> https://abodehome.org/volunteers/

Oklahoma Small Business Files Lawsuit Challenging State’s Unconstitutional Restrictions on Selling Caskets - Institute for Justice OKLAHOMA CITY—Today, a Hughes County small business filed a lawsuit challenging an Oklahoma law that arbitrarily restricts who can and cannot sell caskets in the […]

🌻🪷 A gentle reminder that tomorrow at 2pm we’ll be facilitating the first of our three Willow Workshops on creating a meaningful, personalized plan for how you want your end-of-life journey to look.

Part 1 focuses on the emotional work—creating space to explore your wants, wishes, and values, and laying a loving foundation for the plan that reflects who you truly are.

Join us for a compassionate, supportive approach to end-of-life planning. You don’t have to do this alone. 💛

Registration info is on our original post. 💜💕

PS…there is no cost for this workshop.

Using a gentle and loving approach, we guide you through three very special workshops to create an Advance Care Plan that—like your fingerprint—is designed specifically for you. ✨

This Willow series is truly a perfect gift for yourself; a chance to create a plan for the future rooted deeply in your personal values. 🌿

Join us to turn "what if" into "I’m prepared."

Each session starts at 2pm on 3 consecutive Saturdays. Please register using the below links:
Jan 31st:
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924279

Feb 7:
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924280

Feb 14: ❤️
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924282

Using a gentle and loving approach, we guide you through three very special workshops to create an Advance Care Plan that—like your fingerprint—is designed specifically for you. ✨

This Willow series is truly a perfect gift for yourself; a chance to create a plan for the future rooted deeply in your personal values. 🌿

Join us to turn "what if" into "I’m prepared."

Each session starts at 2pm on 3 consecutive Saturdays. Please register using the below links:
Jan 31st:
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924279

Feb 7:
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924280

Feb 14: ❤️
https://www.mysapl.org/Events-News/Events-Calendar/id/pan?trumbaEmbed=view%3Devent%26eventid%3D194924282

To all of our Doula friends and folks who are interested in the work that's being done to widen availability of end-of-life options in the US, I encourage you to check out / follow / familiarize yourself with Compassion & Choices. They have also been a very helpful resource for all things Advance Care Planning. And a very worthy cause to donate to.💜

Compassion & Choices | End-of-Life Resources Compassion & Choices improves care, expands options and empowers everyone to chart their end-of-life journey.