02/13/2019
There is another way.....
As I began to raise my children and felt either compelled to use bribery/ punishment or just ignore everything and "hope" for the best, I noticed neither way gave me peace of mind for long (if at all). I began a journey looking for another way. I discovered compassionate parenting, as I implemented those tools I quickly realized that it only works if I do my own work and have compassion for myself first. This wasn't an overnight change - this was a five year retraining of mind set. Last week, (and yesterday) I had another major breakthrough, thanks to my mentor Crystal Davis. I recognized this same pattern in every avenue in my life. Finances, self care, leadership, relationships. My mind/heart knows there is a better way yet my belief system kept me bouncing back and forth from 'head in the sand' to 'tightly controlled forced action', busy, busy, busy. This is also why I have been absent from Facebook for many months. I was hiding from my emotions. I feared sharing how I was feeling them and trusting them because I feared it meant I'd lose my tribe. I have been using my emotions to guide me but didn't know how to share this process. So I sacrificed, locked up, pushed aside my emotional process to cater to everyone else. I got busy and distracted myself. Our emotions are our guidance system, hiding them is like hiding your GPS. Have you ever felt stuck? To the point of contemplating drastic action- divorce, moving, su***de, running away, or just simply checking out for hours with your favorite distraction, (cleaning or netflix bingeing)? When we hide from our emotions we can only hide for so long until they overwhelm us. Not knowing how to navigate that overwhelm leads us to act out against our environment until the emotions are spent, then begin to build again. And the fight continues. Yesterday, I stopped the fight - I stopped abandoning my emotional self, my heart, and began to listen. Learning how to balance our minds, hearts, spirits and emotions is a process that requires us to learn how we show up in the world. Crystal Davis is the mentor to facilitate this growth. As I embrace myself - I can see my children more clearly. I homeschool them now because I want them to learn this balance and this guidance and to see themselves as whole beings. The magical details are unfolding. I look forward to sharing about that process, here.
