10/08/2026
It can feel uncomfortable when a family member expects a hug and a child doesn’t want one. Feelings may get hurt, and the moment may feel awkward, but children should not be responsible for managing an adult’s disappointment.
Parents and caregivers can help by getting ahead of the conversation before a family gathering:
“We’re teaching them that they can choose how they say hello. If they don’t want a hug, please offer a wave, high-five, or another option, and respect their answer.”
Consent is not taught through one big conversation. Children learn it over time as adults ask, listen, notice their cues, and consistently respect their answers.
Those answers may also change as children grow. A “yes” last year does not guarantee a “yes” today, and a “no” today does not mean “no” forever. Keep asking instead of assuming, and let the child’s words and cues guide the moment. 💙