Ophelia Flame

I had a powerful dream about my own death, which revealed the collective amount of time spent worrying about what people think. After a lifelong journey of trying to fit myself into tiny little boxes, I am officially DONE.
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Now a decade into my own journey, I can see clearly that the fire that burns away the bu****it in Midlife is an opportunity to liberate ourselves from expectations, while stepping into the joy of being who we’re truly meant to be. THIS is real power and at the root of why the cultural norm hates and fears aging women. We let them steal our power by believing them when they say we’re ugly, useless and invisible.
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I will no longer subscribe to unrealistic expectations of beauty and behavior. Instead, my mission will be to demystify aging and empower myself and other women to embrace their evolving identities with more strength, pleasure, and joy. As an angry, punk rock GenX woman, unapologetic aging may be my greatest act of rebellion yet.
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Heeeeey!
It’s been almost a week since my return to the stage after a nearly 5 year absence. I’m happy to report that thanks to the cast and crew of Golden Garters Burlesque R***e, The Southside Aces, and YOU my debut as Dame Ophelia Flame was very sweet and it felt really awesome. My dear family, hilarious neighbors, beloved former students and long time friends came to the show. I wasn't nervous and my intention was simply to share and receive joy. It is after all what I’ve done my entire adult life so it felt a little like ridding a sparkly bike. SUCCESS!
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It also had me reeling with nostalgia thinking of the THIRTY THREE years that I’ve been parading and peeling having started at the club, Solid Gold Mpls in 1991. Ironically this was after years of saying I would NEVER be a stripper.
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Friends, never. Say. Never.
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It’s mind boggling to think of a time that I danced 5 days a week for 8-12 hours in 4 inch heels and that I eventually traveled across the globe to teach and perform. Burlesque was not a just my hobby. It had become my entire life. It was my livelihood, my friend group, my support group and creative outlet. I happily had all my eggs one basket which was fine until well, it wasn’t. Which is likely why that is a cautionary term. Letting go and essentially disappearing was one of the most difficult things I’ve even done.
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I knew I was on a collision course leading up to my departure but was unsure how to make a change. Like a lot of folks, it took the stillness of a global pandemic and getting my ass kicked by peri-menopause to stop the insanity of ignoring my failing health and utter exhaustion. I look forward to sharing some of the wisdom I’ve gleaned about self-care and aging in future posts.
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I took only three photos that night. Thanks to my dear friend Ariel for creating this little reel which allowed me to just live in the moment. Something I intend to keep on doing. I’m grateful my creative spark has returned and I’m dreaming up a new routine. Though I’m happy to back to the stage and you will see me again, you should know my whole mission has changed. I’m no longer the fiery, red haired, people pleasing Maiden who pushes her way through the world. Instead, I have arrived as "her royal highness of Midlife Mischief" who intends to f**k s**t up by finding irreverent pleasure and joy in living this Third Age of life. Anyone with me?
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