Threaded LLC

05/24/2023

This pretty much says it all when you are trying to strengthen your mental and emotional health.

12/21/2022

Disenfranchised grief is not a joke. Loss is loss, and is equally felt for some when it is a beloved companion.

Disenfranchised grief refers to losses that society doesn’t fully appreciate or ignores

12/17/2022

During holidays and family gatherings it's easy to fall back into the patterns of our childhood. Henry has some great suggestions for serving like Jesus but protecting ourselves.

The Bible asks us to serve others but protect ourselves. People pleasing behavior can lead you down a road that God never intended for you.

12/03/2022

Watching a movie is a way to relax and feel good about yourself. How many times do we start watching a movie to relax? How many of us associate a certain film or television series with a particular period of our lives? Or how many people watch that film that cheers us up in moments of despair? One of my favorites this time of year is "Christmas in Connecticut". I loved it because there's an offbeat non-traditional female lead who reconciles who she is, and it's a great meet-cute love story. I always leave feeling a little validated. Cinema is often used in Narrative Therapy.

What's your favorite movie or series and why? How does it change or enhance your mood?

12/02/2022

Grief is a wilderness of trees, bushes and thorny things that are not planted in rows. Often you have to wander in circles for a long time before finding your way out into a completely new, and changed landscape.
Grief is one of my specialty areas. If you are dealing with loss, I would love to come alongside.

12/01/2022

Good Morning! Did you know that most coaching relationships are goal oriented? Yep, in a coaching relationship the first thing we establish are your goals. Coaching is what we call a "time-limited" relationship. Most of my clients will expect to see me for 12-24 sessions scheduled weekly, bi-monthly or even monthly.

In addition, most churches will assist their members with the fees associated with Christian coaching. If you are thinking of making a change and would like more information message me!

11/30/2022

You are not responsible for other people's feelings. In other words, it's not all about you. Ouch! Did that sting a bit? Let me sort it out...

Unless we do something intentionally hurtful to another person, the feelings that they experience belong solely to them alone. Similarly, others are not responsible for our feelings. This is called "the balance of responsibility" within a relationship. Failing to recognize where you end, and another person begins, introduces manipulation and codependence into the system. Mom, I hate to break it to you, but this is true even for our children. When we assume responsibility for someone else's feelings, we rob them of the opportunity to grow and develop by introducing a power differential. So how do we manage this?

1. Boundaries - You are not them, they are not you. Know what you are responsible for. Make a list of what you feel responsible for. Once you have that list, examine it and pull out the responsibilities that are not really yours into another list. Be patient and curious in this first step - the things that are NOT yours may be hard to spot at first.
2. Practice NOT rescuing others. This will be hard at first, it may create anxiety. Use positive self-talk to encourage yourself through this change.
3. Be Assertive - Be assertive about what you need from others, and ask them to be assertive about what they need from you. You have the choice to say no to their requests, and they have the freedom to make their own mistakes.
4. Inform others - Be open and honest with your family and friends about trying to make some changes. Communicate that you have your, and their, best interests at heart. There may be some frustration from those who are used to you "saving" them.

If this is something you'd like to work on then message me and we can set up an appointment. I have openings right now for time-limited coaching in the areas of codependency, trauma healing, grief and anxiety management.

Some great reading on this subject below:
Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life - Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself - Melody Beattie

Send a message to learn more

11/19/2022

A shout out to my friends - be sure to come by Beacon Learning Collaborative RVA for the Coffee Talk this morning at 10:00am. My coaching office is here, after coffee I'll give you a tour!

www.beaconrva.com | At Beacon RVA we offer enrichment for elementary, middle, and high school students both online and in person. We also have qualified teachers to provide online and virtual subject tutoring.