Happily Whole.

4🎈happiest (early) birthday my raven jae…the sassiest, silliest, spunkiest, most special little bird. mama loves you to the stars, to the moon, and through the milky way.✨

lately. 💛

my only wish for you is that you feel so loved every single day of the year. 💌

filed under: rebuilding inside & out.💛the kids were so excited to finally step inside after four long months.🏠 they’re obv in their new favorite room in the house: the pantry! 🤪

2022 knocked me on my ass in so many ways.😮‍💨
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i can’t quite put into words how I feel as I’m looking back on the last year. i am flooded with so much emotion, both good and bad, both bitter and sweet. there were days I literally didn’t think I’d make it to 2023. there is absolutely nothing more scary and isolating than when you’re feeling so sick and no one can help you. when you can’t find the answers you need. when you have two children to take care of despite how you feel. i will never again take for granted the simple act of eating food without pain. the simple act of walking on my own two feet. the simple act of being able to lift my child when she wants to be lifted. my body has been through so much, but I am so grateful for its endless strength and it’s patience.🙏🏻
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yes, I am frustrated it took almost 20 years to identify my lyme and exhausting list of co-infections and to find the right treatment, and I am angry that our beautiful new mold-infested home almost killed me. with that said, i feel endlessly grateful to have a roof over my head as we rebuild ours 🏠, and the resources and support to be able to heal and rebuild myself from the inside out…and I am.❤️ I feel more alive and hopeful than I have in so long.
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I ended the year with most of my favorite people in NY, I have a new beautiful & healthy niece, and I hiked in the mountains of CA. 🙏🏻
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and I feel the need to also say…if you too are suffering from “invisible illness” don’t give up on finding answers. you know your body best and no, you’re not f*cking crazy. no, it’s not in your head. you’re also not alone. there is light at the end of the tunnel. healing is possible…and you deserve it. please msg me if you are a lyme and/or mold warrior so we can stick together. 💌

soaking up the moments of joy [between moments of chaos]. 💛💫

dough bugs…a favorite around here.🐛🐜🐞
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all you need is some dough or clay & bits and bobs. 🪵👀🌀

it’s not too late to decorate!🎃
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before you recycle those pumpkins, try doodling on them with acrylic paint markers. 🎨 sticks work well, too!

the switch witch delivered a box of goodies via Amazon today (JK, but that was the story I told). 📦🧙🏻‍♀️🍭🍬🍫
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the kids traded in their candy for healthier treats, coins, gem stones, etc. each type of item cost a certain amount of candies. In a note, the kids were asked to put their candy back in the empty box to send back to her tomorrow. 📦🧚‍♂️
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such a fun way to end Halloween on a slightly healthier note, without making the kids feel like they’re missing out. i mean…the amount of candy they collected was excessive, let’s be real. and yes, they did enjoy some of it yesterday. raven had trouble giving up her beloved pops. I’m picking my battles. 🤪🍭

number play. 🔢

most days, momming feels like being on a hamster wheel that you just can’t get off of.🎡 your mind and body endlessly running circles.🌀no time or place to stop. no sick days. it just keeps going and going. even when the world is seemingly turning upside down. and for what? often to feel like you’re only doing a subpar job.😞
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then there’s the quiet moments where you can actually sit down. you feel like you can finally take a breath. dare I say, pat yourself on the back? you realize that everything your busting your tired ass doing actually makes a difference.😅
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the kids are listening. they’re observing and absorbing…and learning.💡 you’re responsible. you feel proud and worthy. you remember that you’re actually a badass and then you bask in that feeling for a hot sec.🦸🏻‍♀️ it me.
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all this to share that cam pulled this empty juice carton out of his school backpack today.🧃 me: uh why would you bring this empty box home?! 🙈🐜 cam: oh, ya! i had this for lunch. I wanted you to read me the ingrediences (*ingredients) and tell me if it’s good for me! 🥹
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if you know me, you know that sending cam off to kindergarten and letting him order lunch there was a huge step. 🥴 such a loss of control after attempting to keep such a healthy home and monitoring every bite. but how do they learn if they are not eventually trusted to make their own decisions? ordering lunch at school is now his favorite thing. i’m confident it’s not even about the food. he feels independent, intelligent, and trusted. 🥰
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anyway, I’m enjoying this small win during what has felt like a long battle of endless tests from the universe this year. at the end of the day, don’t we all just want to raise thoughtful, intentional, and kind humans? sharing my thoughts and this story bc I know I’m not alone in this journey.💛 hugs!

maybe don’t buy this if you hate slime [I thought it was playdough🤪], but how cute is the color wheel packaging? 🌈
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anyone else panic purchase crafts for the storm? ⛈ sending so much love to everyone further north. 🙏🏻❤️