08/17/2026
You’ll hear me talk often about how you should know yourself so intimately that no one’s negative or ill perception of you can rock what you know about yourself, and it’s so true — but we can’t forget that we have to apply that to the folks that say we’re so great, too.
I confess: flattery worked on me for a really long time.
I let a lot of takers and even a few nefarious folks blow smoke up my ass about how brightly I shined because I didn’t know how to affirm it in myself, and that’s just honest. I sat very closely to folks that liked how I made them feel or look to others, fully thinking I enjoyed *them*
…but to be real? What I really enjoyed was what they mirrored to me about myself, and the version of myself I could be with them.
Y’all, that sounds so ridiculous, and it is. I had no inner understanding whatsoever about my own light! I survived on external validation, and that got me taken advantage of time and time again.
But waking up to the fact that what I actually liked about someone else was MYSELF, meant 1) finally seeing the other person more clearly, but 2) most importantly, it meant I could finally see myself more clearly.
If I actually liked HER (ME) all along, I could just BE HER (AKA ME) all the time!
And I could protect her, and her light, like a valued human should be.
In a weird, toxic, and unfortunate way, yeah— those folks helped me learn to affirm myself, and the lasting impact of those relationships helped me learn how to better protect myself. So no, I don’t have any hate towards them because they have their own lessons to learn too, and the lessons I learned were so rich.
But let’s not get it twisted: the credit for what I’ve done with that information still lies in me as the alchemist transmuting the lessons from energy draining, light dimming relationships into fuel to burn as a brighter, more authentic, more powerful, and more protected ME.
So bright girl, shining girl, kind girl, enthusiastic girl, supportive girl…
please know it’s so important to KNOW YOU for yourself so well that no one else can tell you anything that robs you of your own autonomy and light. 🫶🏻
