LoveWorks Solution

Call Directions Website Contact the school

LoveWorks Solution LoveWorks is a happy alternative to traditional relationship counseling, for couples and singles.

Our unique and happy approach to love and relationships allows couples to revive and sustain the love they shared in the beginning, and singles to create their relationship dream while having ten times more fun with the dating process.

“I need to multiply my sources of fulfillment.”A client said this after a period of real reckoning in her relationship. ...
10/13/2026

“I need to multiply my sources of fulfillment.”

A client said this after a period of real reckoning in her relationship. She’d been leaning on her partner for almost everything — companionship, validation, excitement, a sense of purpose, the feeling that her life was going somewhere.

He’d been doing the same with her. They loved each other. And they were slowly smothering each other.

The problem wasn’t the relationship. It was that the relationship had become their only source of aliveness. Every unmet need, every moment of loneliness or boredom or restlessness, pointed straight at him.

No one person can hold all of that. No relationship can survive being someone’s entire world.

“I need to multiply my sources of fulfillment” is about taking responsibility for your own aliveness — finding the other places that fill you up, so you’re bringing something to the relationship rather than arriving empty and hoping your partner can fix it.

What changes when you do that is remarkable. The pressure lifts. The resentment softens. The time you spend together becomes genuinely chosen rather than desperately needed. You miss each other in a good way instead of a hungry one.

Your partner can be a primary source of fulfillment. Just not the only one.

What are your other sources of fulfillment right now — and are they enough?

Your ego talks to you in questions. Spirit talks to you in sentences.The ego spins: should I do this, should I stay, wha...
10/01/2026

Your ego talks to you in questions. Spirit talks to you in sentences.

The ego spins: should I do this, should I stay, what's my purpose, am I making the right choice? It feels like figuring things out. It's usually just more spinning.

Spirit doesn't ask. It tells. Quietly, matter-of-factly, without much fanfare. Call this person. Take that class. Not yet. Yes.

Most of us have heard both voices. The question is whether we've learned to tell them apart — and whether we're giving the sentences enough space to be heard before the questions drown them out.

This month's newsletter article is about exactly that. Including a personal example from Christian that he still can't fully explain — and what it has to do with your relationships.

Full piece on the blog: https://www.loveworkssolution.com/post/ego-asks-questions-spirit-speaks-in-sentences-relationship-advice

She'd been deep into a wellness approach they'd both agreed on — reading the books, using the app, watching the content ...
09/14/2026

She'd been deep into a wellness approach they'd both agreed on — reading the books, using the app, watching the content consistently. He'd watched one video early on, genuinely liked it, and then life got in the way.

Her trigger: she was doing this largely alone, then telling him about it afterwards. It didn't feel like the shared commitment they'd agreed to.

They talked it through well — no blaming, no defensiveness. He acknowledged the gap, said he was genuinely on board. "I'll definitely get this into my regular schedule and watch some of the videos."

She felt heard. He felt clear. The conversation moved on.

I stopped them there.

Because if they'd ended it at that moment, they would have walked away with completely different ideas of what had just been agreed to.

He had a loose sense that he'd watch something, sometime soon. She was picturing him catching up on the ten videos she'd already watched — within the week.

Same conversation. Same apparent agreement. Completely different expectations. A perfect setup for the next fight.

We spent the next few minutes making it specific. What exactly would he watch, how many, and by when. Simple questions.

Once it was nailed down — once there was a real who, what, and when on the table — she noticed that the anxiety she'd been carrying in her body through the whole conversation just dissolved.

She hadn't named it until it was gone. But it had been there the whole time.

That's what an unspecified commitment does. It lives in the body as an open loop, quietly running in the background, draining energy.

Closing it down into something specific isn't nitpicking. It isn't distrust. It's what lets both people relax.

How many open loops are you carrying right now?

Sonika found a reel on FB recently (don't know source) — a man reflecting on the moment he corrected his wife's memory o...
09/09/2026

Sonika found a reel on FB recently (don't know source) — a man reflecting on the moment he corrected his wife's memory of a story in front of her family. He wasn't angry, wasn't trying to embarrass her. He just knew he was right about the detail.

On the drive home she went quiet. And when he asked what was wrong, she said: "I wasn't asking you to remember it the way you do."

What she eventually told him stayed with him: "Sometimes I don't need you to remember the moment correctly. I need you to remember that it mattered to me."

This is a common way couples miss each other. One person is telling a story about how something felt. The other is fact-checking it. Both are doing what comes naturally. But they're not in the same conversation.

Being right about what happened and being kind about what someone remembers aren't always the same thing. And in a relationship, when you have to choose between the two, the choice matters more than most of us realize.

Have you ever been corrected on a memory — or been the one doing the correcting?

When he finally agreed to get help, she felt two things simultaneously: relief and resentment.Relief because she'd been ...
08/28/2026

When he finally agreed to get help, she felt two things simultaneously: relief and resentment.

Relief because she'd been asking for years for them to get help. Because something was finally happening. Because maybe it wasn't too late after all.

Resentment because it took this long. Because she'd had to threaten divorce to get him to take seriously what she'd been saying since the beginning.

Because the version of him sitting across from the coach now — open, willing, engaged — is the version she'd been asking for all along, and his arrival feels like both a gift and an indictment.

This is a delicate moment in couples work. Both feelings are completely valid. The resentment doesn't cancel the relief. The relief doesn't cancel the resentment.

And the partner who finally showed up — however late — deserves credit for showing up, even if the credit comes with an asterisk.

Have you ever been in this position — on either side of it?

She'd been saying "I can't keep going like this" for years. He kept saying "we don't need help, we can figure this out o...
08/24/2026

She'd been saying "I can't keep going like this" for years. He kept saying "we don't need help, we can figure this out ourselves." He wasn't lying — he genuinely believed it.

This is one of the most consistent patterns we see in couples work. One partner keeps raising the alarm. The other keeps minimizing. "It's not that bad." "All couples go through this." "We don't need a stranger telling us what to do." “We can sort this out ourselves”.

There's actually research behind (some of) this. John Gottman's work shows that many people — men especially, though not exclusively — experience what he calls "flooding" during relationship conflict: a physiological overwhelm where the body goes into fight-or-flight. This same avoidance mechanism can extend to resisting outside help altogether.

This same avoidance mechanism can extend to resisting outside help altogether.

There's also something researchers call optimism bias — a well-documented tendency to believe that bad outcomes are more likely to happen to other people than to us. "We can work it out" isn't always denial. Sometimes it's a genuine belief, held against mounting evidence.

And then there's the oldest one: asking for help feels like admitting failure.

So the alarm keeps getting raised. The reassurances keep coming. Until one day the person raising the alarm says something different — not "I can't keep going like this," but "I'm done." And suddenly, everything changes.

I’m currently working with three different couples who came to coaching only after one partner threatened divorce. In each case, the other had not been open to it before that moment.

The smoke had been there for years. It took the house being on fire.

Have you ever been on either side of this pattern?

And why do you think it takes someone saying "divorce!" before they take action?

"There's all this stuff I only look at when I'm moving ..." My brother-in-law said this recently — about boxes in storag...
08/12/2026

"There's all this stuff I only look at when I'm moving ..."

My brother-in-law said this recently — about boxes in storage he only opens when he's packing up to move somewhere new. He never uses what's in them. Never thinks about them. But he keeps moving them from place to place anyway.

It made me laugh. And then it made me think.

How much do we carry — physically, emotionally, in our relationships — that we only ever confront when something forces us to?

The grievance that sits untouched until a big fight drags it back out. The old story about ourselves that we never examine until a crisis makes us. The version of our partner we formed years ago and haven't updated since.

Most of us have a storage unit inside us. Full of things we're not ready to look at, things we forgot were there, things we kept because getting rid of them felt like too much to deal with at the time.

The question isn't whether to keep it or throw it all out. It's whether you know what's in there. Whether you're choosing to hold it, or just moving it from place to place because it's easier than deciding. Or simply choosing to look at it another time when you feel ready?

What's in your storage unit that you haven't looked at in a while?

Pick one judgment you're currently holding about your partner. It doesn't have to be a big one — just something that's b...
08/07/2026

Pick one judgment you're currently holding about your partner. It doesn't have to be a big one — just something that's been sitting there, recurring, familiar.

Now run it through two questions:

How am I just like this? Where does this quality show up in me — even in a subtler or more acceptable form?

And if that draws a blank, try this one:

How could I stand to be more like this? Is there something in this quality, at its best, that I actually need more of?

We call this the Judgment Flip.

And the reason we've been teaching it for years is that it consistently takes people somewhere more useful than the judgment itself ever could.

What did you find?

She'd been judging him for being selfish for years. Always focused on his own needs, his own schedule, his own preferenc...
08/03/2026

She'd been judging him for being selfish for years. Always focused on his own needs, his own schedule, his own preferences — with little apparent consideration for hers. It was a real grievance, and he’d played his part in it, too.

In a session recently we introduced a tool we call the Judgment Flip, and asked her the first question: How are you just like that?

She went quiet. Then said, honestly, that she wasn't. She was the opposite — someone who always took everyone else's needs into account, so attuned to others that her own needs regularly went unmet.

She wasn't being defensive. She was being accurate.

So we moved to the second question: How could you stand to be a little more like that?

That answer came quickly. She could stand to prioritize her own needs sometimes. To stop organizing her life around what everyone else wanted — including him — and to actually ask herself what she wanted. To be, in the best sense of the word, a little more selfish.

The judgment she'd been directing at him was real. But underneath it was something she'd never given herself permission to do — and had been, perhaps unconsciously, resenting him for doing freely.

That's the Judgment Flip. And it rarely takes you where you expect to go.

Full article link in comments ...

What if you're further along than you think — and just haven't noticed yet?One of the things we see with couples is that...
07/31/2026

What if you're further along than you think — and just haven't noticed yet?

One of the things we see with couples is that progress often arrives quietly.

The fight that would have lasted three days now resolves in an afternoon. The topic that used to be untouchable gets raised and somehow don't explode. The moment of genuine appreciation comes out before it gets swallowed. Small things but easy to miss.

And because they're easy to miss, couples often discount them. They're still measuring themselves against the version of the relationship they want, rather than against the version they had a year ago. Which means they're living inside a story of not-yet when the evidence of already is sitting right in front of them.

A successful relationship, when you look back, is a myriad of small, good choices. The question is whether you're making them — and whether you're noticing.

What's something in your relationship that's quietly better than it used to be?

Address

Meadow Vista, CA

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

+18007017043

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when LoveWorks Solution posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The School

Send a message to LoveWorks Solution:

Shortcuts

Share

Category