Help Find Their Voice

They do! 👏👏👏

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Us mothers that only have one child over the age of 4 have so many obstacles we face every day. Mom's that have a very strict rule on screen time . . . . we have an even harder time day in day out. Well and then if you add on top of all of that, a very busy boy, that acts so much and is in his own world most of the time, that he can't even listen to his own name(this makes things more interesting) . . . . . . . . that's my child, my world. That is the one I get . . . . . the one I was gifted from the universe . . . . The one I get to guide through this crazy thing called life. We as parents of only one child get to also be there number 1 everything. Whenever you only have one child you do whatever you can to help stimulate them and keep them busy. We spend lots of money and time buying them things to keep them busy. In hopes to having some time to catch up on house work, maybe make some calls, ect. It always works the first time maybe the second but at some point your child is going to crave human interaction. So with one child you are the only other human so they will throw a fit sometimes to just get some attention. We have to make time for that one child that we have. It my be our only. If we let our self's be consumed by our everyday tasks we miss it. Being there everyday and we still miss so much of it. I make sure I take a day to JUST BE. I do very little house work, and I make school time extra fun and different. We play most of the day and I just soak it all in. I don't think about anything other than making memories and do this each week.

I never wanted an only child. I wanted many children and still would love to have at least one more. The universe has a plan that we my not understand all the time but we are always given what we need and what needs us. I decided when my son turned 2 I could wait awhile for any more babies. He has kept me on my toes since the day I felt him moving inside of me. I knew he would be smart but I did not realize how smart. He will change the world with that smile and sweet heart. I just have to stay strong along the way so he will keep his passion and drive in life. Us parents of the strong willed and stubborn little ones have very important jobs. We have to make sure our child is understood and not changed. We have to help them understand where and how to use their strengths. These children need our love more then most and most of the time they show it in a very unloving way. They are rough and hurt us often, they don't watch where they are going or realize when they are making others unhappy. They are pushy and can be forceful at time. Then when you need it most they show you how much they really do love you and how gentle and sweet they can be.

My biggest struggle is being both the playmate and a mom. We have so many things to do and they pile up more every day it seems. Playing with your child can seem like a waste of time or its even hard for you to do, because you can't turn your brain off about all the things on your to do list. You over think every second you are on the ground and can't stay focused on your child. You keep trying to get up but they keep pulling you down and say "play with me mom! play with me!". In your head you wish you could be in 2 place at once so you could fully appreciate your time playing.

Please stop doing this, I have and I am so glad I take time each week to play with my son. Over thinking takes away our memories and the very little time we have with our children. Playing is never a waste of time, not with your child or others. You helped make a memory that will last them a life time. We have many hats we wear being a mom but a mom of an only child is even harder because you are also there only playmate.

You will always have things to do and you will always feel like you wish you could be in 2 places at once. These things will not change but you can choose to sit and play with your child each week. You can choose to let go and just focus on their little face. You can choose to watch them play and interact with their toys. You can choose to turn off the screen and JUST BE.

I became a mother at 30 for the first time. I thought I was beyond ready but I was very unprepared. Being a first time mother was the hardest time in my life. I also had no parents or grandparents to lean on. It was just me and so it was so much harder then I bet it would have been if I had more support. Jesse my sons dad was amazing and helped me a lot. He would come home and hold Jairon our son for an hour everytime he came home. He was my biggest support and still is. I could not be the person or mother I am today without my amazing man by my side. So grateful for him.

Our son has always been very active and moving always. I knew from the inside we would have our hands full. Kept me awake a many of night playing around in my belly. He took so many firsts in different orders then most babies. He really did not crawl tell he walked. He was a roller. Always moving as fast as he could. Rolling is easier and much faster then crawling. So finally walked right before 1( I was not rushing it) I sure had my hands full from that day on. He only walked for about 3 days and then he just started running every where. I was like wow he is giving us a run for our money( literally). After that we have just been going and going.

Now fast forward, he is 5. He is finally deciding he is big enough to do it all. Very independent now. This is new. Just one year ago was a fight about everything. What he was wearing, what he had to eat, why we had to leave. He was so frustrating at times I thought I might become MAD. I just kept telling myself I'm his mother because I'm what he needs. I'm very consistent and try to be patience(but still loose my s**t). I never wanted just one child in fact I told Jesse when I first met him I wanted 4 boys. Well that all very quickly changed. I have a boy and he is all I need right now. If I do get another child I feel its going to be a while tell Jairon is much older. He has a hard time sharing his parents but does with all the other kids that love us. He is growing and changing so much lately Its hard to catch it all. He is starting to be so helpful and wants to always know what I'm doing. He sure has not slowed down and I don't think he ever will. He is by far one of the most difficult childern I have ever been involved with but he is worth it. Every moment I feel like how is this my child or how did I get dealt this card. I remember that I waited along time to be a mom because I wanted to be ready and to have an amazing father for that child. I was as ready as you can be at 30 and I was given what I was meant to have. This phrase has carried me. Made me realize maybe I was not blessed before 30 with children because the child that needed me was not ready for the world yet and I needed to really be ready for what the universe had in store for me. We all have a story that is not written yet that we make the ending to. Choose to see your child as a blessing no matter how difficult. Make your self feel blessed instead of burdened, no matter what card you have been dealt. I have one of the more difficult child of the world but I love him more every trying day. I know he is teaching me so much more then I realize. Your child is doing the same, We just have to look at it as the biggest hardest blessing we will get in this life and to everyday fight for that child's future. I know my child will change the world, because I'm going to instill it into him. I tell him only positive things like. You are a nice boy please be a nice boy. Children have this funny way of becoming just what you tell them they will be. So keep your words positive and see them grow into amazing people that will make a difference in this world

I wanted to share my story with my friends/family and remind people how good their life has been. This will hopefully help inspire some of you . If you work hard at every aspect of life, and don't take the easy way out. Life can be great. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Well I had a pretty rough start as a child. Back and forth from my mom to my grandma tell I was 4. When I was with my mother, I never knew when I would eat next or if I would be left alone for long periods of time. In public a lot of times, at the beach, or park, I was very smart and would always befriend kids that had food. My mom always came back. I know I'm very lucky to be here, so many things could have happened to me. I never went with a stranger or never said I was alone. I always pointed to someone and said my parent is over there. Once the state of California took me, I was in foster homes for along time it seemed. My grandma finally won guardianship of me and I moved to Oregon. I was very timid and shy. My grandma put me right in counseling, this and her saved my life. This gave me the best chance at a normal life. Once becoming a young adult, I had anxiety and would stress about everything. I was only doing school counseling, but made some great friendships that have lasted a life time. With girls who had very similar starts as me. We helped each other have support out of the home. At some point in high school I just felt a switch in me. I felt confident and ready to take on the world. I stopped caring so much what people thought and just started getting my focus towards where my life was going. I started collage right after high school. I ended up signing up for the collage program to work at Disney.I worked there for 7 months and almost stayed to be a character but my grandma got sick, so I decided to come home. Paperwork got lost in the move to Florida and I ended up not being able to go back to school. Blessing in disguise ready did not know what I wanted to do at the time. I got my old job back, then moved to retail, then I worked at a call center, then a day care, then for 2 different car dealerships. Then I got pregnant, and after having the baby, I could not find safe affordable child care. So I decided to stay home and babysit a bit. It turned into much more and I fell in love with teaching. I started working with a special needs child and it was the most rewarding job a ever had. I helped her learn how to walk and eat on her own and do sign language. I decided this was my calling. Kids of all kinds. I slowly but surely got more kids and did it full time. I ended up working with a very severely autistic boy and it changed my whole direction. I started to write a book( still writing it) about my experience with this little boy. He showed me how very important detail is and that there is hope for all kids. Non- verbal and verbal. He started to slowly but surly came out of his autistic world and into ours. The family used a program called the sunrise program. It focused on being positive and thanking the child for everything from a simple look, to a word. I felt so amazing everyday going and seeing him change. I now run a little preschool out of my home and have helped many kids learn how to read early on. My son started to recognize words at 16 months and by 2 knew over 300 words. He is now 4 and reading so much. I could not have done any of this if I did not find my nutrition program. With my shakes they give me all the energy I could possibly need and it helps me save money and time on food prep. I have helped some family members/friends better there life with my nutrition program. I feel so fortunate for the life I have and I started a blog to use as an outlet for me to help other parents. A few months ago I took in my sister, It was very very challenging at first and put a big strain on our family. She has adjusted and is doing amazing. She has grown so much in the last 3 months, I'm so very proud of her. She is like many 25 year old's and has no idea what she wants from life. We are doing are best to help guide her. She helps out with the kids so much and is helping out on a farm with the nicest lady. This has been a great outlet for her and I know it will teach her a lot. I'm so ready for whatever life throws at me, I'm stronger then I have ever been and can't wait to see what is next.

Love you all and hope this helps some people get perspective that life is really great, you just have to work hard at it everyday.

Jairon is almost 4 and a half, We have been so busy and adjusting to aunt Kerry living with us. He started Karate a few months ago and is doing amazing. He is halfway to his test for his yellow belt. He is loving the time outside of home and is making friends. This makes us so happy as parents. He is an only child and human connection is super important. This is the first activity outside of home, T-ball is next, we are excited,as it starts in May. He may be home schooled but we will make sure he gets socializing outside of the home always. He is so coordinated when he focuses and can do anything for at least 15 mins, then he may lose interest. He is very, very smart but likes to play the" I don't know" card. He works it on anyone that will let him. He pushes and likes to break rules. He is impossible to punish, he acts like your punishment is what he wanted. I like the" I take what I get in life and roll with it, and nothing can get me down part" . . . . . . but dang this kid is so hard in so many ways. Remind myself every day he is worth it and he will be my biggest "Change Maker" . The future is so important and I will raise my son to know the difference between what helps the world and what fights the flow of earths harmony.

Jairon is reading words everywhere. Its amazing and it makes my heart happy every time. He is even reading Spanish words. He loves to do any kind of art and loves sticker projects. He is way to good at acting and freaks us out sometimes. We have to watch our reaction to his acting. It a bit much. He always wants to do math food, making math with his food is easy and has helped him start to do basic math very young. He is becoming quite my little teacher. He helps me teach the kids often. He is always asking to help me, clean, cook or even make smoothies. He has grown about a half inch in the last year. He is still so small but starting to get heavy. Its finally getting hard to hold him for long periods of time.

His love for music is growing everyday. He is starting to sing with such passion and emotion. He likes to do everything in the mirror( still, an only child thing). We play a lot of imagination games, most of the time we have to idea what we are reacting to. we just match his emotion. I love that he loves to play. He is great at playing by himself but also is learning how to play well with others. Some days he does great and then others he has a hard time. He keeps asking for a baby to be in my belly but he has a hard time sharing his parents. I'm glad he is open to the idea of us having another kid but I'm not quite ready. Plus he thinks he can pick a sister and on many days says no brothers. Well buddy we can't really choose. Only time will tell. He has a bit more growing to do. To be honest I would be happy with just him. Being a mother is enough.

We have decided to take this whole music thing to a new level and bought music equipment. Jairon, Jesse and I have been doing harmonizing at night. Every time we get our sound right, Jairon's eyes light up. I even got teary eyed and got goose bumps. I gave Jesse the best 37th birthday gift, the gift to learn music. He has taken 2 classes and is loving it. Jairon was so excited to see the sound equipment set up. I love when his eyes get so full of wonder and his smile is so big his eyes shut. This kid is going places and I can't wait to see where he is in a year.