Michelle Arant Coaching

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There's a difference in holding yourself to high standards as the leader in your organization and beating yourself up over self-imposed short-comings.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So many of my clients think that if they don't keep pushing or if they stop being hard on themselves, they won't ever be as good as they want to be.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I always challenge them, just as I will challenge you, to notice how they feel when they criticize themselves. Usually the feeling is defeated or less-than.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And when they feel defeated or less-than, they don't take action. They sit around and mope or they avoid getting better at the things that they know they need to work on.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's always important to notice how you're self-talk is making you feel.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The good news is that self-talk is 100% controllable by you. Choose to speak to yourself in a way that is motivating and inspires you to take action. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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On Monday I encouraged you to speak in specific, observable behaviors rather than labeling your employees.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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After you tell someone on your team what they have been doing that is not acceptable, you have to be very clear about what you want them to do instead.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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"You've missed three out of five deadlines this month. You're expected to hit all of your deadlines moving forward."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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"You've come in late two mornings in a row. The expectation is that you will be here every morning at 8:00AM."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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"I'd love to see you take the initiative and volunteer for a new project that is presented to everyone."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's easy for us to think, "Well, they should just know that that's what is expected." Maybe so, but if you're clear about what you expect and actually have a conversation about it, then you know that THEY are clear, too.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The next time it happens, you will know it wasn't from a lack of understanding and then you can take further action if needed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When you label your people instead of speaking in specific, observable behaviors, you not only frustrate yourself but you can't help them change.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For example, instead of labeling an employee as unmotivated, get specific about what you see them doing that causes you to label them that way. Have they not met their project deadlines the past 3 out of 5 times? Have they not volunteered to take on a new task that was presented to the group? Do they not come in late 75% of the time?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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See how different the specifics are?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Speaking in behavioral terms helps you stay calm when you have to have a conversation with your employee. PLUS it helps them understand what they are doing that needs to be corrected.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's better for everyone. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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On a coaching call today, my client updated me on a situation that, one month ago, was driving him crazy. He was losing sleep, working extra hours, and pretty much throwing up his hands because he thought, "This is hopeless."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Luckily, he reported today that he had resolved his problem and was feeling much more relaxed.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What helped him?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Figuring out the THOUGHT that was causing him to feel hopeless. Once he was able to see that that THOUGHT wasn't helping his situation at all, he decided to choose to think differently. He began to implement the ideas that we discussed. And, guess what! He resolved his issue.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If he had stayed stuck in, "It's hopeless," he wouldn't have tried anything different. He'd still be dealing with his problem.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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That's the power of coaching. Sometimes, we need someone to help us see what we are choosing to think that leads us to feel stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated about something happening with your team or in your business, ask yourself WHY. Write down the answers. Let it all out; don't hold back.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Then take a deep breathe and go back through what you wrote and underline only the facts. Make sure they are really facts that we ALL would agree on and see the same way.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Doing this helps you see that everything else are just thoughts that you're thinking about your situation.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The good news is that we get to choose how we want to think about something. Once you see what thoughts are causing you to feel frustrated, stressed, or overwhelmed, you get to change the way you're thinking.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Not sure if something is a fact or a thought? Post below in the comment and we'll figure it out together. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do me a favor and make a list of the ways you are a good leader.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So many of my clients focus on what they think they aren't doing well.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Of course, it's good to improve in areas where you struggle, but if you spend ALL of your time picking yourself apart, you stay frustrated and defeated most days.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Good things don't usually come from negativity.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So, I give you permission to look for what you do well and celebrate those things.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Post at least one thing below. =] ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So many of my clients want the environment to be fun for employees.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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They balk when we start talking about the importance of setting expectations and high standards for their employees and holding people accountable.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It seems that they believe that work can't be fun if there is structure in place.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You can create a fun environment and still hold people accountable to the result that their position is responsible for.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And, trust me, when you get the right people on your team, they WANT that structure and think it's fun to work in a business where people do their jobs and get things done. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you can't articulate the result each position should produce, why do you pay someone to fill the position?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Don't make the costly mistake of having a position with no real way to determine its benefit to your organization.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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And remember that results can be MEASURED - more revenue, higher customer retention rate, or x-number of orders filled, for example.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do you need help with determining the results your positions should generate? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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An employee can be a wonderful person and still need feedback on his/her performance.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's not personal.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Feedback won't change who they are as a person. It will only improve how they perform. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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How do you want to be remembered as a leader? What was your contribution as a leader?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Mine is. . .She helped me believe in myself and grow past what I thought was possible for myself.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Share below what you want your employees to say about you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When you have to give feedback to your employees or contractors, it's best to have objective data and examples so that they can understand exactly how to improve.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you just tell your team that they need to "improve" or "do better", they don't know how. You have to do the work of getting specific and helping them see a clear plan for how to reach the set expectation. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I do agree with so many things that Simon Sinek says.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But with this quote, I love it that I can disagree. Let me explain.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Giving feedback, figuring out a performance issue or making a big change in your organization are ALL IMPORTANT, but you don't have to be scared of it. . .ever.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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With the model that I teach, you can identify what is important and choose to feel confident, empowered and resolved rather than scared.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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How cool would it be to feel confident in the important things you need to do so that you actually DO THEM?! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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