LAC Consultants

As many of you may be aware the election on Tuesday left a lot of people with mixed feelings. I am seeing a rise of individuals who are experiencing stress and anxiety from the election. This includes children, high school students as well as young adults and older individuals. They are experiencing certain emotions which are making them scared, frustrated and they do not know how to handle them. The emotions are real and should not be dismissed as it can manifest into something much bigger.

The election was not about who won or lost but a much bigger picture. The uncertainty of the future of this country. We have weathered many elections and after a few days settled back into our routines. But not this time. Many of our immigrant children are wondering if they will be pulled from school because of the color of their skin. Young women are scared because they fear they may be may to feel less than what they are (in other words, groped, pawed at, called names etc...) because someone in authority said it was okay. Many are scared because they will be loosing insurance if they repel Obamacare.

This is not about complaining or griping about who won or lost. This is a real issue. So when your kids come to you for an explanation or you see your friends expressing their frustration know their concerns are genuine. They are searching for answers that may never be answered or will be answered over the next few months.

I am giving presentations next week in several schools explaining what post election stress is and ways to cope with the feelings you are experiencing.. So listen to your fellow neighbor, your friend, your children because what they are experiencing is real.

Have you had your mental health checkup yet? Getting a mental health check up is just as important as getting a physical. Do not delay. You never know what is going on in your mind.

Many individuals live with a mental health illness every day. For some it is hard for them to get out of bed. For others they walk around in a stupor because they cannot function. Mental illness is not something to be taken lightly. Do not assume people can snap out of it. They cannot. Do not assume they want attention because they do not. What you can assume is they need kindness, understanding and in most cases someone to lend an ear and not judge them. They want to be normal but they cannot. They can only learn how to cope with the bad days and enjoy the good days. They do not want to burden their love ones so they say nothing. If you know someone living with a mental illness, please do not ignore them. Instead ask if they would like to go for a walk or even have a conversation. Because for some the smallest act of kindness could mean they will get up the next morning and keep fighting the fight.

Before you judge one's life or one's character, walk in their shoes, walk the path they have traveled, live their sorrow, their doubts, their fears, their pain, their laughter. Everyone has their own story. Words said without thought only cause pain.

Remember mental health is an illness it does not define the person.

In order to know who we are we have to look into our minds and souls. This can be very difficult to do as it can bring back memories we do not want to deal with. But until we do this we can never truly be free. Take the time to explore your feelings, do not let them scare you, embrace them and learn from them. Learn to love yourself and loving others will come easy.

She was finally strong enough to leave and said I don’t have to take this anymore and she walked away.

Communication is the key to all relationships. If we do not communicate then we cannot fully understand what the other person is saying. So how do we communicate? We listen and respond. When we respond we can either agree or disagree and offer insight. No person is right or wrong because we all are unique individuals and with that different points of view. We may share similar likes and dislikes, however, we all the right to speak and say what we feel. So next time you think you want to get into an argument, listen first to what the other person is saying and think before responding.

Remember “Words are singularly the most power force to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to be humble.” ____Yehuda Berg

Social media is way for family and friends to stay connected. It is not a contest on who gets the most likes or comments. Do not let social media take over your life. Take time to step away from social media and find yourself. You will be surprised at how amazing you are.

For the first time in years, she walked along the shore line breathing a sigh of relief, and whispered to herself, “I am free.”

For so many years she was victimized by the one person who was supposed to love and protect her forever. All that was taken away the first time he called her stupid, ugly, fat or less than a woman. Sometimes he would hit her because she forgot to pick up a toy or he was in a bad mood. Many times she was threatened and taken by his force.

She hid the emotional pain and would not leave the house till the bruises healed. On the outside she smiled, but on the inside she fought every day to stay alive. The world never knew what she was going through and she felt alone.

For years she could not escape because of the threats. She knew he would go through with them. She stayed because she wanted to live. When she tried to fight back she lost and each time the consequences would be worse. But she kept telling herself she is alive. She will be strong one day and walk away.

Does this sound familiar? Please do not let domestic violence or abuse stand in your way of freedom. There is help and you do not have to do it alone. Reach out, let your friends know, your pastor, your teacher or your boss. There is help. Do not be a victim any longer.

One person may not be strong but together we are invisible. WE ARE SURVIVORS!!!!!!!!!

CHANGE!!!!! That 6 letter word. Scary is it not? Why change? What happens when I change? Why can't others change and I stay the same?

Good questions. Miriam Webster defines change as "to undergo transformation, transition, or substitution." Imagine if we all did not change in some way. Women would be abused and no one would do anything about it, because that is the way it is. Children's voices would not be heard, causing many to feel abuse everyday. Regardless we do change and change can be a good a thing or it can be a bad thing and consume you.

Think about this for a moment if winter was always winter and we never felt warmth, how would we feel? But winter eventually turns into Spring and Spring into Summer and Summer into Fall. We go through many changes as this happens.

Now think about the women and children who are abused everyday with no hope of changes. What if this was your mother or sister or daughter or even your son? Kind of makes you sad doesn't it. It makes me sad and angry at the same time. We need to change and open our hearts and eyes to those changes. Embrace the change and help end the cycle of domestic violence and abuse.

John Rohn stated "Life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change."

It was quite funny in a sense as I opened up the internet today. All I saw were sayings or pictures about loneliness. It made me think. How many of us go home to an empty house without anyone there to share the day’s events. How many of us eat alone or go to bed because there is no one to talk to. What happens to the soul when you have no one to share it with? Does it whither up and die?

What about children? Do they feel lonely as well? Do they feel lonely when they are around family and friends? Do we as adults gather around the table at dinner time and share their day? True we are not a traditional society these days. But in my opinion we have lost our way to communicate with each other. Dinner time used to be one of those ways to reconnect. We now have internet, social media, television, and games to keep us from being lonely. Or so we think. But what if that all went away? What would happen then? How much loneliness do you think we would feel then?

We all have experienced loneliness at one point in our lives and some still do. According to research loneliness can make you sick, destroy your sleep, raise your blood pressure, and shorten your life. Loneliness isn't just a momentary pang—it's a chronic emotional ache that affects up to 15 percent of people. That equates to about 29 million people. That is a lot when we live in a world with so many people. In addition, research showed loneliness can lead some people to turn to drugs and alcohol just to relive the pain they are feeling. What is even worse is loneliness can lead to depression or su***de. As a counselor and psychologist this has me concerned. As a society it should have you concerned as well.

What can we do? Is there a solution? How many times do we pass somebody on the street and say nothing? How many times do we sit around people and say nothing? Maybe a hello or have a good day would be all that person needs to feel not so alone. I challenge you to give it a try. Call your mother or father if you are grown, take your children away from the games and social media for an hour, and tell the one you love how much they mean to you. Learn to re-connect so lives are no longer lonely.

What do you see each morning when you look in the mirror? Do you say something nice to yourself? We all should be impressed by what we do everyday. Give yourself a break if you did not get it done the day before and quit beating yourself up about things you have no control over. Make the most of your day and tell yourself you are worthy. Tell yourself "I love me".