10/13/2026
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“Why didn't she just leave?”
It's a question I've heard for decades, and one that still reveals how little we understand about the realities of domestic abuse.
Leaving requires more than courage. It requires somewhere safe to go, money, transportation, access to documents, and often a way to protect children. It may mean leaving behind a home, a job, a community, and everything familiar.
I left with just the clothes on my back.
And for many survivors, leaving is the most dangerous time of all.
When we ask why someone stayed, we often overlook the circumstances that made leaving so difficult, and the enormous amount of planning it can take to get out alive.
Before asking why someone didn't leave, perhaps we should ask what stood in their way, and what we might do to help remove those barriers.
With survivors, always.
꩜ Ella