10/04/2026
😂😂😂😂
I would like to formally address the disgraceful events that occurred recently at a dog show.
Firstly, I would like to point out that I DID VERY WELL.
I entered the ring.
I stood beautifully.
I walked.
I was admired.
There may or may not have been ribbons involved.
Frankly, I was a professional.
And then… my human LOST HER MIND.
She picked me up.
IN FRONT OF EVERYONE.
I repeat.
SHE PICKED ME UP
Do you have any idea what this does to my reputation?
All the other dogs were there. They SAW IT.
I am supposed to be a sophisticated show dog. A respected member of the canine community.
And now the Golden Retriever from Ring 2 probably thinks I have tiny little legs that don't work.
The Border Collie definitely saw.
The Dachshund was practically laughing.
And don't even get me started on the Poodle. I could FEEL the judgement.
I would like everyone to know that I am perfectly capable of walking myself.
I have legs.
Four of them, in fact.
They work.
Very well.
I had just spent the entire day building a reputation as a dignified, accomplished aristocrat, only for my human to completely destroy it by carrying me around like a TINY BABY.
Apparently she was "excited."
Apparently she was "proud."
Apparently I was "such a good girl."
Honestly, I don't see how any of that excuses the public humiliation.
I will be taking some time to recover from this betrayal.
Preferably somewhere private.
With snacks.
And perhaps my ribbon.
Because while I may have been carried out of the show like an embarrassing handbag…
I WAS STILL THE ONE WHO DID VERY WELL
Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.
— The dog
*Champion of the ring. Victim of the human.* 🐾
