Modern Leadership Coaching

Two weeks ago I joined a mentorship with Stacey Boehman.

I almost didn't.

On the outside it looked like a sales program.

Sales is not something I felt like I needed.

So I talked myself out of it.

More than once.

What finally moved me wasn't the curriculum.

It was knowing who I would become in that room.

I always learn, implement, and show up as the best student I can be in containers like this.

I make real friendships. I connect with people I would never have found otherwise.

Knowing that was enough.

Two weeks in I'm thinking at a completely different level.

What Stacey actually teaches isn't sales.

It's how to think like a master coach who runs a serious business.

I didn't know that until I got inside.

The label said one thing. The room was something else entirely.

I teach this. The environment shapes the belief system.

I knew that. And I still almost talked myself out of it.

I wonder how many rooms you've talked yourself out of for the same reason.

I could feel it starting.

The frustration building. The story in my head taking over.

And I could watch it happening in real time.

Which made it more frustrating, not less.

Because being able to see the spiral coming never seemed to be enough to stop it.

For a long time I thought I just needed more willpower.

More self-awareness. More discipline.

None of that worked.

This week Teresa and I talk about why.

Seeing the pattern and being able to stop it are two completely different skills.

Most people only ever get taught the first one.

New episode is live.

How to Stop the Spiral Before It Takes Over.

Search 'Modern Leadership Coaching' wherever you listen.

Link in the first comment.

You're in a meeting and a colleague gets emotional about a decision affecting their team.

Everyone goes quiet.

You're not their manager. You're not in charge.

But you can feel the moment sitting there.

Do you say something?

Do you stay quiet?

And whatever you'd do... do you actually know why?

I'd love to hear your thoughts below.

There isn't a wrong answer, but thinking about it is going to help make sure you step into YOUR right answer next time.

When is the last time you were indecisive but you took action anyway, and found out later that was one of the best decisions you ever made?

Someone started working with us a few weeks ago.

He almost didn't.

Not because of the cost. Not because of the time.

Because he looked at what we do and decided it wasn't for him.

He's a leader. He's driven. He's already done a lot of work on himself.

He didn't think he needed what we were offering.

Two weeks in, he called it a necessary life skill he wished they taught in school.

He said it was the missing piece.

I share this not to promote what we do.

I share it because I know some of you reading this have already made the same decision he almost made in another area of your life.

You've looked at something and decided it wasn't for you before you really knew what it was.

Sometimes the thing that's most for you is the thing that looks least like what you think you need.

That's been true for me more times than I can count.

Someone asked me this week when it would finally just happen automatically.

When the new way of thinking would stop feeling like work.

I recognized the question because I used to ask myself the same thing.

Here's the honest answer.

Your belief system is not a problem you solve once.

It's something you tend to.

Because it's constantly being shaped by your environment.

Every conversation you have. Every room you're in. Everything you let in.

It's all landing somewhere.

Which means the real skill isn't just changing a belief.

It's learning to notice which beliefs are running, deciding if they serve you, and choosing which ones you let stay.

I'm in multiple environments right now because I want to keep growing in multiple areas of my life.

Not just one.

The Dad Edge keeps me growing as a father and husband.

A coaching environment keeps me sharp in my craft.

I still find myself picking up beliefs I didn't choose in each of those spaces.

The work is noticing. Deciding. And being intentional about what gets to stay.

That never fully stops.

But it does get easier when you know that's what's happening.

I said this to someone this week and I could see something release in them, just like when It was said to me.

Not because it lets us off the hook.

Because it tells us the truth.

Most people who are stuck have spent a long time wondering what's wrong with them.

Why they can't figure it out.

Why everyone else seems to have this handled.

Nothing is wrong with them.

They just haven't had the right support in the right moments yet.

That's a very different problem.

And it has a very different solution.