01/11/2025
How to Support Friends Displaced by Fires: What to Do (and Not to Do)
When someone you care about has been displaced or lost their home due to a fire, your support can make a big difference. Here’s how to genuinely show up for them, without unintentionally adding stress:
What to Do:
✅ Reach out. A simple “I’m thinking of you” can go a long way. Call or send a message to let them know you’re there, and ask, “Do you need anything right now?”
✅ Ask about long-term concerns. Beyond the immediate crisis, many people are anxious about rebuilding, finances, or stability. Ask open-ended questions like, “What’s worrying you most about the next few months?”
âś… Be a listener. Sometimes, the best support is letting them vent or process without offering solutions. Just being a calm, compassionate presence can be incredibly comforting.
✅ Offer practical help. If you’re in a position to help, offer something specific: a meal, temporary housing, or childcare. Even small gestures can ease their load.
✅ Check in regularly. Support isn’t a one-time thing. Fires leave lasting impacts, so ongoing check-ins can remind them they’re not alone.
What Not to Do:
❌ Don’t remind them it could be worse. Comments like “At least you’re safe” or “Some people lost everything” can feel dismissive. While well-meaning, they minimize what they’re going through.
❌ Avoid unsolicited advice. Unless they ask, resist the urge to offer solutions like “The SBA will help” or “Have you looked into XYZ?” Often, people just need empathy, not fixes.
❌ Don’t compare struggles. Even if you’ve been through something similar, avoid centering the conversation on your own experiences. Focus on their situation and feelings.
Supporting friends in a crisis means meeting them where they are and prioritizing their needs over your instinct to solve or console. Thoughtful listening and tangible actions can make a world of difference—and help you avoid being that friend.