Michael Zick Coaching

I used to be in love with being a victim. Ick.

Today, I watch my attraction to victimhood through a telescope; wise to its gravitational pull. Like two planets swirling around a black hole, I’d form relationships with other victims until we were consumed by its absence of light.

I try to avoid black holes but sometimes I get too near; into the interstellar dance I go. I make efforts to listen but it requires a special kind of strength.

The black hole is only a text message away.
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Add another one to confirmation bias, because we’ll unconsciously reject any treatment that’s outside our matrix of beliefs.

If we believe we are unloveable, we’ll surely invite people who don’t love us, or we’ll make sure the situation doesn’t work out. It’s not so much self-sabotage but a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Therefore, if you want to be treated well, start with yourself.
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I can’t think of a time when running from my emotions did me any good.

In fact, it wasn’t the emotions that harmed me, it was the running. Avoiding, numbing, and distracting — all fruitless, and kept me emotionally immature for decades.

It wasn’t until I decided that I couldn’t run anymore; when it all caught up with me and I hit bottom that I realized I’d better face the music.

Today, I ask that you face your own music and allow yourself to feel what you’ve been hiding from. And with that, remember that feelings are just feelings, but what we do to avoid them often comes with steep consequences.

You may not see it now but there will come a time when there’s no way out but through.
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Flirting tips for men:
1. Don’t hide your intent
2. Give intelligent compliments
3. Pay attention to non-verbal cues
4. Escalate when appropriate
5. Take rejection gracefully

Don’t be a Nice Guy and think that hiding your intent will score points with women. Conversely, don’t be a brute and tell her how hot she is before getting to know her. Tread lightly when giving physical complements and don’t be generic.

Learn to read womens’ non-verbal cues as you test for interest, then escalate appropriately. Lastly, take rejection gracefully and move on. It’s ok to feel hurt and disappointed, but women are approached all the time no matter what, so try not to take it personally. Congratulate yourself for trying!
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Today is the day.

No more denial, procrastination, excuses, and false paths. I’d like you to get out a piece of paper and write down everything that’s true for you and about you.

What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are you great at? What do you suck at? What fills you with joy and what bored the s**t out of you?

What do you do for validation, money, attention, accolades, followers, admirers, and anything else to fill that bottomless chasm you feel on a daily basis?

What do you do out of love, passion, service, flow, and intrinsic fulfillment?

Getting clear on these things is STEP ONE in any of my coaching programs that helps people find careers, relationships, and TRUTH. No more bulls**tting yourself.
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I'm very excited to announce that I've created my own Medium publication called Shortcuts. It's going to cover topics such as social engineering, persuasion, influence, manipulation, and disinformation.

I'll be looking for writers, so if you know of anyone who's an accomplished social psychologist or behavioral analyst, send em my way! https://medium.com/shortcuts

Shortcuts Whether you’re an average person looking to protect yourself or a Social Engineer looking for a way in, this publication will give you the tools, tactics, and techniques used by the world’s most powerful persuaders.

When you stop listening to the inner judge…the inner critic…that voice that keeps you in a cage of fear and anxiety, you will separate from the virtual reality programmed by your early childhood experiences. You will understand that self-punishment and perfectionism are not the great motivators you thought they were.

Make no mistake, I battle the judge and it’s accomplice saboteurs multiple times a day, and need constant reminders that most of what they say isn’t true, and what I feel as a result does not require action.

Today, I invite you to recognize the negative voices that exist only in your mind, and label them for what they are: ghosts of the past that attempt to keep you safe through isolation, rigidity, and attachment.

📷 by
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I’m super excited to announce that I’ve been added as a writer for Better Humans, a self development publication and one of the top pubs on medium.com!

My first piece is about a 5-step emotional regulation process that I’ve used to get back to center quickly after an upset. While it’s not a comprehensive recovery program, it can be used at any time in part or in full to handle the triggers and self-judgement we can face at any moment. Try it for yourself!

1. Question the meanings and beliefs
2. Feel through the feelings
3. Do something that scares you
4. Do something kind for yourself
5. Do something kind for others

You can find my writing at michaelzick.medium.com
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The vast majority of conflicts arise from an inability or an unwillingness to understand another’s perspective. However, some conflicts arise from fear, insecurity, or a blatant desire for power.

The poet in me would like all conflicts to be resolved with peace and negotiation, yet the warrior in me knows that force is sometimes necessary. The king knows when to use one or the other, which is where many men fall short. I hope the U.S. knows which way to go in the current conflict.
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“You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy.”

— John Calvin
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