Burnout Made Me Do It

If you're struggling with a manager and trying to figure out how to make the relationship with them, work better for you, you NEED to listen to the latest episode of the Burnout Made Me Do It podcast. I'm talking with talent consultant and bestselling author, Roberta Matuson, about the skill of 'managing up' - what it is, why it matters and how to do it!

Link to the podcast in my bio or search for Burnout Made Me Do It, wherever you get your podcasts!

You know those rare conversations that just light you up and energize you all over again about your purpose and path?? This was one of them! I had the great pleasure of talking all about burnout in corporate life with for their podcast. It’s such a serious topic but we had so much fun talking about it - what it is, how it happens and what we can do to stop it. I hope you have a ton of fun, and learn a little something, when you listen! You can check it out right now!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/s-o-s-why-burnout-is-increasing-and-why-leaders-dont/id1587233441?i=1000586411706

“I have to always be busy.” “I feel bad if I’m not doing something, I need to be productive”. “I have to be working toward a goal or I feel pointless”. I’ve said all these things. My clients have said all these things too. The things we busy ourselves with and validate ourselves with may differ but we agree on one thing - focusing constantly on the future, neglects an equally important part of life - the ‘now’! When was the last time you gave yourself permission to do whatever the hell you wanted, not because it was productive, not because it contributed to a bigger future goal, or because you “should” but just cos it felt good in the moment. That s**t is important too.

Want to know how to stop a classic ‘task dumper’ manager? Get my free cheat sheet “5 ways to say ‘no’ to work without getting fired”. Link in bio!

“How is it only Wednesday?” - Everyone everywhere. If you need a little something to shake it off and face the day, try this mini yoga sequence I designed for a fabulous client. File under grounded but energized!

🐫

Some of you may know that one of my self care activities is the swim, bike, run sport of triathlon. I’ve been doing to for more than a decade and it’s been a real lesson in monitoring my own headspace, physical energy levels and burnout.

Sometimes I’m super in to it, I really care about the challenge and wanna WIN!
Sometimes I just want to move my body and feel the pleasure of that, without a training plan, expectations, or timing. But the triathlon race world tends to involve signing up for races a year in advance and I have found I’m a very different person when the race arrives versus when I signed up!! And that’s okay.

So what do we do when we change but an old goal - that we no longer care about - is hanging over us? Whatever the hell@we want. While some will tell you to stick with the original goal and ‘see it through’ using determination and self discipline when motivation fails you, I will tell you that you better save that s**t for the real priorities in your life cos it can burn you the f**k out if you’re not careful.

Putting in that disciplined hard work when you no longer value the goal is a recipe for burnout.

So….This weekend I half assed my way around the Ironman Santa Cruz 70.3 course - a race that when I first signed up for my plan was to crush and get a personal record - but times have changed for me and that goal didn’t excite me anymore. I didn’t want to win. I didn’t want the challenge - at least not in this area of my life. And so this weekend, with no real care about the outcome, I just turned up with a desire to hang out with all the cool people that I’d be racing alongside and be a part of the good vibes these events put on. And you know what - I finished. It was far from perfect for my original goal but it was perfect for my new goal of just having a laugh and not wasting my registration fee!

Are you working toward a goal that no longer serves you? If so, ask yourself why? Does it still matter to you? If so, I know how to psych yourself in to getting there, but if not, why not give yourself permission to change that goal to suit who you are today?

Where are my SPSS users at??!
And so it begins… analysis of the data gathered in my ‘burnout and wellness factors in agency life’ study is starting now. Exciting! (SPSS data work is the less exciting part for me but watch this space for the findings wooooo, that’s the good stuff!!)

How many times have you said yes to tasks or ‘little favors’ you didn't particularly want to do. But then found yourself giving that task the same amount of commitment and effort as your priority tasks?

Being an overachiever can be exhausting.

No matter what we were asked to do or what we decided to do - we always end up giving 100% and then some!

It's like we're constantly trying to prove ourselves. Show our worth…or at least see it being recognized. We strive for perfection time after time - knowing that’s not really attainable but we damn well keep trying, don’t we? Even when this jeopardizes our personal time, our health and our happiness.

Here’s the pattern… we take on a task - maybe something simple that could take 5 minutes - but then we just can’t help ourselves. Our perfectionistic, overachiever kicks in and this task must now be completed to a standard of excellence that would make Olympian’s cry with envy.

And we behave like this with the major things - maybe thats okay, but we even do it with the small, everyday things.

If we are having a dinner party for our friends, our house has to be spotless and the dinner worthy of a Michelin-starred restaurant.

If we are asked to make a report it will be the most thorough report in the history of business.

Are we responsible for making a presentation? Then you can bet that it will take us 40 hours to create the 10 most perfect slides that ever existed and then another 40 hours to practice the presentation.

It’s simply exhausting.

And worse than that, useless and fruitless. Because you know what? Nobody notices.

Nobody notices that extra 40% you gave.

Nobody will know that you went to bed at dawn the other day so that the colors in your presentation would perfectly match each other.

No one cares about the wonderful dinner you cooked because eating pizza was just as good (or even better!!!).

The only person who is aware of the effort you put in, the time you waste, the fatigue you have...is you.

I have to be honest with you. Today I am writing about something I am guilty of. Maybe we all are a little bit, but I have definitely been and more times than I can count!

We all have things that are important to us. Maybe it is our quiet time, our family, our health and well-being, peace of mind, succeeding at work, being a good friend, living a happy and fulfilled life. Whatever it is, even if we never stop to think about it consciously, some things in our lives are more important to us than others.

But this is where the paradox begins and the craziness of being human kicks in!

Most of us don't actively make our priorities a priority. Yep, read that again ‘cos it sounds weird. But it’s true.

Maybe we are someone who wants more family time but then we work every day, long hours or take work home hoping that one day, if we earn enough money, we can finally have that free time to be with the ones we love.

Maybe we are someone who wants to have more peace of mind but we always end up saying ‘yes’ to things that we want to say ‘no’ to or put ourselves in situations that cause us stress and anxiety.

The truth is that our priorities in life are often put aside for this or that reason. They are postponed. They don't take the center stage in our daily lives. They get the scraps of time left after the other s**t gets done.

And the result is often dissatisfaction, unhappiness, demotivation, frustration and burnout. Because we are not really living a life aligned with what we really consider most important.

But time passes my friend. It never stops and we can’t have it back. When it’s gone is gone.

So we can start making the best of it today! Are you with me?
Let’s just take a moment to think about what our life priorities are and whether these have been the guiding light for our decisions and choices. If it hasn't perhaps it's time to consciously change that!

If we don't do this we run the risk of living a lifetime without ever having been true to our life priorities. And that quite frankly, doesn't sound like the life you deserve.

Let's make living by our priorities our top priority.

NEW EPISODE RELEASED!!!

The field of therapy is a profession that by nature subjects its practitioners to high levels of stress and challenges, sometimes even secondary trauma. In today’s episode, we take a deep dive into how burnout affects therapists and mental health professionals.

Kristin Baker is a licensed clinical social worker who specialises in helping burnt-out therapists see the beauty in burnout.

Kristin joins us to talk about the prevalence of burnout among therapists, and how she helps her therapist clients reframe their outlook. Despite the difficult experience that burnout is, the perspective of seeing the ‘beauty’ in burnout helps her clients look at what burnout is telling them about what needs to change. We talk about how physical and emotional symptoms can communicate to us what is and isn’t working in our life

Kristin also talks with us about her personal experience with burnout, including ignoring some very clear warning signs. She shares with us what exactly the straw that broke the camel’s back was, and how she was able to recover from burnout. She also tells us her recommendations for therapists currently experiencing burnout.

Dr. Kim reveals the three phases of burnout that she sees in her clinical practice, and how she helps people at each point to recover and live a happier and more fulfilled life.

Listen Now 😍 - https://anchor.fm/kim-hollingdale