04/09/2026
Happy Autism Awareness Month!
I spent 28 years thinking I was the problem.
Crazy. Lazy. Too much. Not enough. Somehow both, in the same breath, without even trying.
This past January I finally got my autism diagnosis. After fourteen months of fighting for it against providers who looked at me โ articulate, composed, educated โ and said without running a single assessment: youโre not autistic.
Because I knew how to speak.
What they didnโt ask was whether I had always known how to speak. Or what it had cost me to learn.
Here is what I need you to know: I am not pro-pathology. I donโt think being neurodivergent is a disorder. Neurotypicality is largely a performance that got codified into institutional norms and mistaken for a baseline. The diagnosis didnโt pathologize me. It named the terrain. It told me: you were always a zebra. The problem was never your stripes.
And last month I got diagnosed with the Trifecta โ hEDS, POTS, and MCAS. Three conditions that arenโt actually separate. Theyโre one regulation network, running harder than average across every system, every day. My connective tissue, my blood vessels, my immune system, my nervous system โ all of it traces back to one body that was built more sensitive and more flexible than the world was designed to accommodate.
I was not broken. I was physiologically complex in a system that had never been designed to read me.
The chronic conditions didnโt arrive by accident. They arrived after years of masking. After forcing a neurodivergent nervous system through a 24-hour productivity model it was never built for. After running a 28-day operating system in a world that only recognizes 24 hours.
Your dysregulation is not a character flaw. It is your body keeping score of a world that was never built for your wiring.
And if you have spent your life feeling like a failed version of something you were never meant to be โ you were never the problem. You were just never handed the right mirror.