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Enquiry Co. • Layne | toddler behavior (ages 1-3)
• demystifying adult-toddler dynamics
• less conflict, more connection
• 10 years in early childhood

10/13/2026

New propaganda from Big Toddler: we’re chaining the world, folks. 

I’ve always had an ulterior motive for this account.

YES, I care deeply about the individual kid in your home or classroom and YOU, their adult.

But reeeeeallllllyyyy… I care about every single one at scale.

I’m so interested in early childhood as the medium for changing the world.

In some says, I think it might be the only one.

That might be cynicism peaking through, but even at my most cynical I can rally a sense of purpose about the equipping the littlest/newest/freshest humans we have with better tools than I was given.

And that is an endless source of motivation and hope.

What you’re doing matters.
For that kid.
For yourself.
And for all of us, collectively.

THANK YOU.
(you’re doing a great job)

10/09/2026

This is not a knock on OTs (I would NEVER). It’s a true story about how few toddler parents are presented with essential child development knowledge, sometimes even when they’re getting specialist support.

Send this to a friend who needs to hear it and follow for more 🤍

10/08/2026

“They won’t let me” gives all the power in the relationship to the toddler…who does not know what to do with it.

We have to be the calm, confident leaders in the relationship.

It’s our job to teach them how to live. Full stop.

Yelling, whining, clinging. These are normal toddler responses to things they don’t like while they are still developing the ability to express and regulate themselves.

These behaviors can’t control you. You have to be the one in charge.

Let’s be clear: these behaviors are TOUGH to deal with. And in certain moments, you’ll give in. You’ll lose that battle.

But it’s not because your child “won’t let you”…make dinner, put them down, buckle the car seat, etc.

It’s because those behaviors are tough and you didn’t feel up to it in that moment. That’s ok.

Make a plan for next time and try again.

You got this.

xo, Layne

10/08/2026

I always forget what’s inside so every Wednesday it’s Christmas!

Harmony Beus | Hair & Beauty this deodorant rec did not disappoint 🫡🌹

10/06/2026

Toddlers read bodies and faces better than words. If listening is a huge struggle or following instructions, in particular, start here:

Next time you need toddler attention, drop down to their eye level before you speak.

And see what a huge difference this one simple change in the adult side makes on the child’s behavior.

I’ve been in conversation with hundreds of you over the last two days and there are 2 clear themes emerging.1. We are st...
10/03/2026

I’ve been in conversation with hundreds of you over the last two days and there are 2 clear themes emerging.

1. We are struggling to function through the surging flashbacks to our own experiences with every repost.
2. You are looking at the precious little boys in your homes wondering “What can I do to help you keep your humanity when you go out into the world and make your own choices?”

This is just a few ways that *are* within your power to do that.

There will be many different conversations and teachings you give your children as they grow more capable and responsible for their actions and their impact on their social circles but…

These are some of the EARLIEST skills we can start to practice with young children that have an impact on life-changing moments like those students were in.

If you get these in place, you’ll have a really solid foundation to build on with your kids as their lives grow more complex.

10/02/2026

Play is a super powerful place for all parents but *especially* dads to teach toddlers how to express and respect boundaries.

Horrific incidents like the one at Cornell happen when young men do not fully grasp or believe that an entire person lives inside the body they are interacting with.

This is an awareness that is cultivate in EARLY CHILDHOOD based on how adults encouraged and respected our expressions of discomfort AND held their own personal boundaries with us.

One simple practical tool for this:

Establish a family “safe word”. My family LOVED wrestle play but the rule in the house was: if someone says “please, stop” we have to stop.

Sometimes we said it when we didn’t mean it and the play stopped.

That was an important lesson in how powerful your words can be and taught us to say what we mean.

And sometimes it meant one person was done and the other person was bummed about that.

Tolerating the feeling of NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT because another person’s preferences also matter is an *essential* skill for all of life….

…and especially the kinds of life shattering moments those college students were in.

This is just one way that *is* without your power as a parent to set your kids up to decide differently in those moments.

09/30/2026

This is NOT on you, to be extremely clear. I am not laying the responsibility of an entire societies failures at your feet to fix, toddler mom.

I am reminding you that you do have AGENCY.

I’ve been in conversation with hundreds of you over the last two days and there are 2 clear themes emerging.

1. We are struggling to function through the surging flashbacks to our own experiences with every repost.
2. You are looking at the precious little boys in your homes wondering “What can I do to help you keep your humanity when you go out into the world and make your own choices?”

This is just one way that *is* without your power to do that.

I have a few more and I’ll post about them in the coming days.
But the main things are:

- Noticing another person’s experience
- Being required to respect personal, physical boundaries (starting with mom)
- Not getting to have what you want and tolerating that feeling
- Recognizing your own impulses and pausing before acting
- Saying “No” and meaning it (boys and girls alike)

These are the EARLIEST skills we can start to practice with young children that have an impact on life-changing moments like those students were in.

If you get these in place, you’ll have a really solid foundation to build on with your kids as their lives grow more complex.

09/29/2026

I frequently try to force you into becoming obsessed with toddlers. Here’s a recap of my top 6 reasons, as I hand the floor over to you:

1. This is the rawest form of humanity—the most raw and authentic that a person will ever be. They literally just realized that they exist, but they have not yet realized that other people are also people like how they are. Pure ego marching around, crashing into things, trying to figure out how it all works.

2. This is the last time any human being can or will tell you the entire truth. They don’t have a single social skill. Couldn’t possibly care to spare your feelings. They don’t have any self-consciousness, and they don’t have any skills for hiding what’s going on inside. What you see is exactly what you get, no guessing. Incredible.

3. They 100% absolutely do not tolerate uncomfortable clothes, and they are entirely correct about this. Why are clothes allowed to have itchy tags? Why do we have to break in our own shoes? Why are pants allowed to squeeze in the middle. We just walk around in uncomfortable clothes and accept it? Ridiculous. They do not, and I love that about them.

4. You experience the full spectrum of human drama in the course of just one day. I used to come home from teaching preschool, tell stories, and be so confused about why they sound so small. Because when I was living them earlier, they were the valleys and peaks, triumphs and tragedies—even if it was just a lost shoe we finally found.

5. They are 100% present. There is no future, and there is no past. Yesterday is the same as two months ago, and tomorrow may never come. Their experience is 100% in the now, baby.

6. And it’s all sensory. When I see them dumping a tub of tiny toys on top of their own head, what I see is them making a colossal mess. What they see is nothing because their eyes are closed, feeling the soft, smooth edges of those tiny plastic pieces falling all across their face. Their ears hearing nothing but the tinkling waterfall sound. What a way to live! A privilege to observe. They’re just the coolest.

What’s your favorite thing about them?

09/26/2026

Toddlers need to hear “no”. They literally need to hear, feel, and learn how to survive that actual word.

More importantly than that, toddler development DEPENDS on loving adults providing clear, comprehensible boundaries: teaching them the edge of what’s safe / good and what’s dangerous / relationally inappropriate.

That’s ALSO “no”.

Now, there totally *are* more and less effective ways of communicating with young children.

But the parenting-internet-whirlpool has turned valuable communication tools (like tell them what you want them TO DO instead of what NOT to do) into flat, black & white restrictions on your language.

It’s confusing and exhausting.

And when you “have” to use language that’s unnatural to you, it often disconnects you from the child in front of you.

I DEFINITELY want to talk about the valuable parts of the communication tools that have gone through this gnarly game of internet telephone…

… cuz I want you to have as many tools to CHOOSE from as possible.

But for today: lets just set them all down and focus on being normal and honest — which is the best way to connect and communicate to anyone, including toddlers.

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