Polinder Coaching Group

Polinder Coaching Group

Empowering you through accessible affordable counseling!

Operating as usual

07/02/2023

Do you and your partner struggle with conversations going from 0-60 in half a second? Learn how to approach emotional reactions and what you can do to self-soothe and get to the root of your emotional dysregulation. Click to watch the replay of my latest virtual workshop. The workshop lasts 90 minutes with lots of Q&A with Kim!

To register: https://event.webinarjam.com/register/30/8or55hng

To gain complimentary access to all past and future workshops, join my private workshop community, where you can work with me in an affordable way. Your monthly membership gives you access to my two live virtual workshops each month, exclusive video Q&A content not posted on social media, weekly journal prompts, and live chats. To join: https://engineering-love.mn.co/spaces/11088591

kimpolinder - Link in Bio & Creator Tools | Beacons 07/01/2023

kimpolinder - Link in Bio & Creator Tools | Beacons

Do you and your partner struggle with emotions getting out of control when you argue? Or are you struggling to navigate betrayals or infidelity? Registration is $19 per workshop - free for all members of my workshop membership community. If you can't attend the workshop live, your registration will give you access to the replay.

Emotional Regulation workshop - watch the REPLAY:
https://event.webinarjam.com/register/30/8or55hng

Register for How to Handle Betrayals & Infidelity Workshop:
https://event.webinarjam.com/register/29/onxvvtwn

To gain complimentary access to all past and future workshops, join my private workshop community where you can work with me in an affordable way. Your monthly membership gives you access to my two live virtual workshops each month, exclusive video Q&A content not posted on social media, weekly journal prompts, and live chats. Click the link in my bio to join: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder

kimpolinder - Link in Bio & Creator Tools | Beacons | Check out my links to (LIVE Upcoming Workshop: Understanding Triggers & Mother Father Wounds, Join Kim's Private Workshop Community!). Check out my links to (LIVE Upcoming Workshop: Understanding Triggers & Mother Father Wounds, REPLAY: Couples Communication, REPLAY: How to Listen, Em...

06/20/2023

Virtual Workshop: Managing Triggers and Mother Father Wounds

Do you struggle with emotional reactivity in your relationships? Learn to navigate your deepest triggers and core wounds with partners, friends, and coworkers. Join me this Saturday, June 24th, at 11am PDT/2pm EDT, for my next virtual workshop! Workshop is included for members of my virtual workshop community. You can also register for just this one workshop. Link is in my bio/story, or go to https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder

06/20/2023

Do you struggle with anger outbursts and emotional reactivity with your partner and friends? Then come join my virtual workshop this Saturday, June 24th, where I'll be teaching you tools on understanding your deepest triggers and core wounds (i.e. mother wounds, father wounds).

Workshop starts at 11am PDT/2pm EDT and lasts one hour. Registration is $19 - free for all members of my workshop membership community.

Register for the workshop: https://event.webinarjam.com/register/26/3n855tln

To gain complimentary access to this workshop and all past workshops, join my private workshop community: https://engineering-love.mn.co/spaces/11088591

Your monthly membership gives you access to my two live virtual workshops each month, plus weekly journal prompts, live chats, and exclusive video Q&A content not posted on social media.

Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder

06/20/2023

How to Deal with Your Inner Critic

Our inner dialogue got conditioned in our home environment growing up. As an adult, these automatic ways of thinking can affect self-esteem and self-compassion. Before you can shift your inner thinking, you must understand the motives of your thought patterns. Often, our inner dialogue is trying to protect us or motivate us, even if it’s in a destructive way. The goal isn’t to eliminate your inner critic completely, but to learn how to have an honest sense of self. This involves the ability to see your strengths along with your areas for growth.

For more exercises and tools on emotional regulation, join my private workshop community where you can work with me in an affordable way. Your monthly membership gives you access to my two live workshops each month, plus weekly journal prompts, and exclusive Q&A video content not posted on social media. Click the link in my bio to join, or go to www.kimpolinder.com.

06/20/2023

How to Start to Regulate Your Emotions

The first step to regulating your emotions is to identify them. Many people find the “Feelings Wheel” helpful for identifying what specific emotion you are experiencing. A Feelings Wheel lists out various emotions based on the basic feelings of sad, happy, angry, etc.

Once you identify your emotions, then sit with it in a non-judgmental way. By focusing on what you’re feelings, you can then better understand where it comes from and what it’s there to tell you. One way of working with emotions is to think about the function of that emotion. What role does it play in your life? What is the benefit of your emotional response?

For more exercises and tools on emotional regulation, join my private workshop community where you can work with me in an affordable way. Your monthly membership gives you access to my two live workshops each month, plus weekly journal prompts, and exclusive Q&A video content not posted on social media. Click the link in my bio to join, or go to https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder.

06/20/2023

How to Receive an Apology

Repairing relationships through apologies involves a process that focuses on empathy, understanding, and genuine remorse.

When receiving an apology, express your feelings and concerns. This is an opportunity for the person who apologized to hear you and listen to how the apology was received.

Make amends: Depending on the situation, it may be appropriate to discuss and agree on steps to make amends or repair the damage caused. This could involve actions to rectify the situation or prevent similar incidents from occurring in the future. The person offering the apology should be committed to following through on these actions.

Give it time: Healing and rebuilding trust take time. The person receiving the apology may need space and time to process their emotions and decide whether they are ready to forgive and move forward.

For more exercises and tools on healing betrayals in your relationship, join my private workshop community where you can work with me in an affordable way. Your monthly membership gives you access to my two live workshops each month, plus weekly journal prompts, and exclusive Q&A content not posted on social media. Click the link in my bio to join, or go to https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder.

06/20/2023

Why Conflict is Good in a Relationship

Conflict in a relationship is not only inevitable but can also be a sign of health and intimacy if handled constructively.

Conflict can serve as a catalyst for open and honest conversations about disagreements, leading to a better understanding of your partner.

Conflict forces couples to communicate, providing a chance to develop and enhance these skills. Effective communication involves expressing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s, which helps build empathy and understanding.

Conflict deepens emotional intimacy: Successfully navigating through conflict can strengthen the bond between partners. It can build trust, as it shows that even during disagreements, both individuals are committed to the relationship and to resolving the issue.

Conflict is a part of life. When couples face it together, they can learn to solve problems more effectively, which is a critical skill not just in their relationship, but in all areas of life.

Conflict unmasks issues and patterns: Often, repeated conflicts are a sign of underlying issues or patterns that need to be addressed.

Remember, it’s not the presence of conflict that breaks a relationship, but rather how the conflict is handled. For more exercises and tools on resolving conflict with your partner, join my private workshop community where you can work with me in an affordable way. Your monthly membership gives you access to my two live workshops each month, plus weekly journal prompts, and exclusive Q&A content not posted on social media. Click the link in my bio to join, or go to https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder.

maritalcounseling

06/20/2023

Do You Plot How to Tell People Off in Your Head?

When you find yourself telling someone off in your head but not directly to them, it may be due to avoiding conflict, fear of negative reactions, or feeling uncomfortable with confrontation. Here are some suggestions on how to handle this:

Reflect on your feelings: Take a moment to consider why you’re feeling the need to tell someone off in your head.

Assess the situation: Consider whether it’s worth addressing the issue with the person involved. If it’s an ongoing problem or affecting your relationship, it’s important to address it.

Choose the right time and place: If you decide to confront the person, choose a private setting to have the conversation.

Open-mindedness: Approach the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to listen to the other person’s perspective.

Seek a resolution: Be open to compromise and be willing to take responsibility for your own actions.

Practice assertiveness: Practice what you’ll say in a mirror or role-play the conversation with a friend or therapist.

To continue strategies around communication and self-expression, come join my new private workshop community. I’ll teach you the same exercises, tools, and ways of approaching your problems that I do with my private clients. You’ll learn tools for improving couples communication, emotional regulation, managing resentment, and improving confidence! I answer daily Q&A, have live workshops twice per month, live daily chats, weekly journal prompts, and other ways to engage with me privately. Registration link in bio!

06/20/2023

How Mindfulness Helps with Worries and Sadness

Mindfulness is a practice of focused, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. It helps you observe your thoughts and feelings without trying to suppress or control them. Instead of getting caught up in worry about the future or regret about the past, you learn to stay focused on the present, which can help reduce anxiety and depressive symptoms.

For anxiety, mindfulness can help to break the cycle of constant worry and fear. By focusing on the present moment, you can start to prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed by future uncertainties.

In terms of low moods, mindfulness can help disrupt patterns of negative thinking and rumination. By observing thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can learn to disengage from negative thought patterns that can trigger periods of sadness and hopelessness.

Additionally, mindfulness encourages acceptance of your experiences, including uncomfortable or distressing emotions. Acceptance of emotions is a big part of or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. This acceptance can foster a more compassionate and understanding relationship with yourself, which can counter feelings of self-blame or self-criticism.

Mindfulness-based interventions, such as mindfulness-based cognitive therapy ( ), have been shown to be effective if you struggle with thoughts that keep you down. Through increasing self-awareness, promoting acceptance, and interrupting negative thought patterns, mindfulness can provide you with tools to improve your inner dialogue.

is a practice of focused, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. It helps you observe your thoughts and feelings without trying to suppress or control them. Instead of getting caught up in worry about the future or regret about the past, you learn to stay focused on the present, which can help reduce anxiety and depressive symptoms.

For anxiety, mindfulness can help to break the cycle of constant worry and fear. By focusing on the present moment, you can start to prevent yourself from becoming overwhelmed by future uncertainties.

In terms of low moods, mindfulness can help disrupt patterns of negative thinking and rumination. By observing thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can learn to disengage from negative thought patterns that can trigger periods of sadness and hopelessness.

Additionally, mindfulness encourages acceptance of your experiences, including uncomfortable or distressing emotions. Acceptance of emotions is a big part of or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. This acceptance can foster a more compassionate and understanding relationship with yourself, which can counter feelings of self-blame or self-criticism.

Mindfulness-based interventions, such as mindfulness-based cognitive therapy ( ), have been shown to be effective if you struggle with thoughts that keep you down. Through increasing self-awareness, promoting acceptance, and interrupting negative thought patterns, mindfulness can provide you with tools to improve your inner dialogue.

06/20/2023

Are You in the Therapist Role in Your Family?

If you’re still expected to be the “therapist” in your family and no longer want to be, it is essential to communicate boundaries and manage expectations. For example, “I’m here to support you, but I can’t always be available to talk about every family conflict.” You can also suggest having them read books, watch youtube videos, or find an actual therapist to talk to. You can also practice expressing your needs to your family and letting them know when you feel overwhelmed. This might open the potential for other family members to then step up. Another focus is self-care which can include everything from activities that you like, downtime, or regular exercise. Another tool you can employ is learning to listen without offering solutions. Practice empathy and mirroring exercises without offering solutions or giving people advice. This can help preserve your energy levels. Keep in mind that it’s normal and reasonable to feel overwhelmed when dealing with all of the emotional struggles of you family members. It’s okay to take a break, communicate boundaries, and seek support for yourself.

To continue working with me in an affordable way, come join my new private workshop community where you can work with me for $27/month! I’ll teach you the same exercises, tools, and ways of approaching your problems that I do with my private clients. You’ll learn tools for improving couples communication, emotional regulation, managing resentment, and improving confidence! I answer daily Q&A, have live workshops twice per month, live daily chats, weekly journal prompts, and other ways to engage with me privately. Registration link for my membership community is in my bio! Or open a web browser and type in www.beacons.ai/kimpolinder.

06/20/2023

Were You the Scapegoat in Your Family?

Scapegoating occurs when family members project their own issues onto a specific child. It’s easier to point the finger at a family member rather than take responsibility for themselves. The ability to use a scapegoat in the family provides a distraction for the family so that they can focus on the ‘bad’ child instead of getting to the root of problems in the family. Children can also become scapegoats if they attempt to break generational cycles of abuse or negative patterns in the family. No child deserves to be the dumping ground for the family’s problems. If you have been the scapegoat, learn to develop a sense of self to recondition you from the unhealthy narratives of your past.

To continue working with me in an affordable way, come join my new private workshop community! I’ll teach you the same exercises, tools, and ways of approaching your problems that I do with my private clients. You’ll learn tools for improving couples communication, emotional regulation, managing resentment, and improving confidence! I answer daily Q&A, have live workshops twice per month, live daily chats, weekly journal prompts, and other ways to engage with me privately. Registration link for my membership community is in my bio! Or open a web browser and type in www.beacons.ai/kimpolinder.

06/20/2023

Was Your Childhood Role the Hero + Lost Child?

Authors Hawkins and Hawkins described four childhood roles in dysfunctional families. Role #1 is the hero, who is driven, self-sufficient, and responsible. By being successful, they give status to the family. They might even become a parent for the family. Role #2 is the scapegoat, who gets blamed a lot for the family’s problems. Scapegoats often act out because they’re deeply affected by the volatility in the home. Role #3 is the lost child. They follow the rules and fly low under the radar. They don’t ask for anything, suppress their feelings, and tend to become people pleasers. Role #4 is the mascot who is the jokester. Many times, this is the youngest child who is a good distraction for the family. It is possible to be a combination of roles, and a popular combo is the hero + lost child.

To continue working with me in an affordable way, come join my new private workshop community! I’ll teach you the same exercises, tools, and ways of approaching your problems that I do with my private clients. You’ll learn tools for improving couples communication, emotional regulation, managing resentment, and improving confidence! I answer daily Q&A, have live workshops twice per month, live daily chats, weekly journal prompts, and other ways to engage with me privately. Registration link for my membership community is in my bio! Or open a web browser and type in www.beacons.ai/kimpolinder.

06/20/2023

How Do You Get Rid of Your Past?

When it comes to healing the past and traumas you’ve experienced, it is impossible to “get rid of” the past. However, you can overcome your past by learning how to process it effectively and challenging the negative thoughts and perspectives about yourself that your past created.

Additional approaches for processing your past include cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), narrative therapy, or mindfulness and meditation, to name a few. Find a professional who specializes in one of these techniques to help give you a different perspective and help you set goals for shifts in your life. As always, be patient with yourself. Would other people who have experienced your past be thriving easily? Probably not.

To continue working with me in an affordable way, come join my new private workshop community! I’ll teach you the same exercises, tools, and ways of approaching your problems that I do with my private clients. You’ll learn tools for improving couples communication, emotional regulation, managing resentment, and improving confidence! I answer daily Q&A, have live workshops twice per month, live daily chats, weekly journal prompts, and other ways to engage with me privately. Registration link for my membership community is in my bio! Or open a web browser and type in www.beacons.ai/kimpolinder.

06/20/2023

How is Stonewalling Different from the Silent Treatment?

To hear more Q&A, come work with me in an affordable way in my private workshop community. You'll learn tools for improving couples communication, emotional regulation, managing resentment, and improving confidence! I answer daily Q&A, have live workshops twice per month, live daily chats, weekly journal prompts, and other ways to engage with me privately. Next live workshop is May 13, 2023.

If therapy is too expensive, register now to work with me directly! https://engineering-love.mn.co/share/gqt40jODluLg4kyp?utm_source=manual

Kim's website: https://beacons.ai/kimpolinder

Kim's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kp_counseling/

Kim's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/

Kim's TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/

Podcast website: https://www.engineeringlovepodcast.com/

06/20/2023

Do You Plot How to Tell People Off in Your Head?

When you find yourself telling someone off in your head but not directly to them, it may be due to avoiding conflict, fear of negative reactions, or feeling uncomfortable with confrontation. Here are some suggestions on how to handle this:

Reflect on your feelings: Take a moment to consider why you’re feeling the need to tell someone off in your head.

Assess the situation: Consider whether it’s worth addressing the issue with the person involved. If it’s an ongoing problem or affecting your relationship, it’s important to address it.

Choose the right time and place: If you decide to confront the person, choose a private setting to have the conversation.

Open-mindedness: Approach the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to listen to the other person’s perspective.

Seek a resolution: Be open to compromise and be willing to take responsibility for your own actions.

Practice assertiveness: Practice what you’ll say in a mirror or role-play the conversation with a friend or therapist.

To continue strategies around communication and self-expression, come join my new private workshop community. I’ll teach you the same exercises, tools, and ways of approaching your problems that I do with my private clients. You’ll learn tools for improving couples communication, emotional regulation, managing resentment, and improving confidence! I answer daily Q&A, have live workshops twice per month, live daily chats, weekly journal prompts, and other ways to engage with me privately. Registration link in bio!

06/20/2023

Why You Should Socialize Your Problems

The primary benefit of socializing your problem is that you will finally realize that you can be accepted for the real you. So often we hide behind the mask of an edited persona. Doing so blocks our ability to receive love because others are loving a limited version of ourselves that we display. Being vulnerable with trusted people reduces feelings of isolation and loneliness. You’ll realize you’re not alone in your struggles and that what you’re feeling is completely normal. This process will lift a weight off your shoulders and reduce stress and anxiety. You will gradually become more confident and in turn resilient. Do not let the past own you. Process your pain with qualified trusted people so that they can give you perspectives that can increase your self-awareness and strengthen your sense of self.

Are you frustrated that therapy is too expensive or every therapist you pursue has a waiting list? Then come work with me in my private workshop community where you’ll learn tools for managing triggers, increasing self-esteem, and improved communication in your relationships! Link in the bio.

06/20/2023

What Are Healthy Coping Mechanisms?

Without developing healthy coping mechanisms, you will never believe that there is a way to effectively face your problems. Instead, you’ll spend a lifetime running away from your issues with a pattern of failed relationships and self-loathing. It IS possible to develop healthy coping mechanisms to help you manage stress, emotional triggers, and your sense of self. Some examples of healthy coping mechanisms are deep intentional breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, reframing your perspectives of yourself and others, setting small attainable goals, building a support system, and learning to understand your emotional reactions. What works for others may not work for you, so spend some time experimenting with various coping strategies to learn what is effective for you!

Book a complimentary consultation with one of Kim’s certified coaches to help you develop strategies for coping mechanisms! www.polindercg.com

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Long Beach, CA
90813
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