Mythic Love

For the past 2.5 years I've been struggling. Ever since I was hospitalized for covid triggered thyroid storm my health has been a roller coaster. Physically a domino effect occurred and underlying problems, hereditary, congenital and otherwise which may or may never have surfaced organically were triggered in full. My teeth began breaking and falling out, resulting in full mouth extractions and a set of dentures that I dislike the feeling of so much that I never use them. My thyroid is still uncontrolled despite daily medication and the continual care of an endocrinologist, surgery may be the recourse here.

Multiple discs in my neck, mid and lower back began bulging/herniating at once, combined with spinal arthritis, resulting in years of physical therapy, repeated ongoing injections in my spine and neck, muscle relaxers, pain medications, doctors appointments and testing, testing, testing. Some of those days I couldn't get out of bed, some days I could barely walk, sometimes I needed a cane, some days I could not even wipe myself without triggering flank spasms.

I've gained weight, between all the medications and steroids I am on and not being able to move I have gained around 50 pounds. Long Covid and PICS contribute to, if not outright cause, each of these things, while also gifting me with varying neurological difficulties including formication, paresthesia, nerve pain, brain fog and memory problems. Anxiety, depression and PTSD are new friends as well.

I feel like a totally different person today than I was when I got sick. I guess that makes sense, my reality is very different, I'm quite differently abled than I was. At times I feel I'm a stranger in a strange body. I experience deep grief about this sometimes, mourning myself. I'm still learning this new me, how best to love and support myself through so many changes.

I am so incredibly grateful for my rock, my safe harbor, my sun, my goddess, my wife Jen. Through it all she has supported me, fed me, mentally, emotionally and often physically in the most basic meaning. I couldn't drive at all for about a year and a half because I couldn't turn my neck, she drove me to and from physical therapy daily. Every single doctors appointment, she attended. For almost 2 years I needed my back massaged at least twice a day with medication, she never once minded.

When I can't walk, she physically supports me. Can't wipe my ass, she installs a bidet. Can't move in pain, she does whatever she can to make me comfortable. Can't love myself, she loves me enough for us both. I am eternally grateful for your compassion, kindness, grace, beautiful heart and love in action a chuisle mo chroí. The gift of your love is the highest honor and greatest privilege of my life.

We never imagined we'd be dealing with chronic illness, pain or disability (though for those familiar with HD and GK my sun sign is 36.5 and my IC is lax of the plane so maybe we should have?), but God never gives you more than you can handle right? So far so true.

Not all of this time has been traumatic. A year ago I underwent top surgery (double mastectomy) and that has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. I love not having breasts. I love not having their weight hanging off me. I love not having b**b sweat in the summer. I love being able to be topless outside if I choose. I love how my shirts fit, though the breast weight seems to have migrated down toward my gut again, haha. I love breast cancer being much less of a concern. I love being a gender nonconforming individual. Embodying that oft mentioned spice of life.

Things are getting better. The combination of all modalities, procedures and medications are working together to bring my life on the pain scale from a typical daily 7-8 to a typical daily 4-5. I have bad days less often. My mobility is slowly but surely improving, I can stand, walk short distances, turn my head and drive again. I'm working on treating my anxiety and PTSD.

We'll be in Indiana next month for the summer-on. Which means lots of time and cuddles with my sweet, handsome boys and more visits with family. A lack of triple degree heat hopefully and fall. I love the desert but I've missed fall. Overall, I'm excited to see what the next 2.5 years has in store with my beautiful bride by my side.

He, that hath the steerage of my course, direct my sail.

Have you felt the weight of this energy? The light is breaking through the darkness. As more light comes through, what has been hidden must be illuminated.

The heaviness may feel uncomfortable but you were built exactly for the depth of this rebirth.

The feminine dives into the darkness
Straight into the void. This is her gift.

She stops running and faces her pain. Gleaning from her senses and emotions the information she needs to guide her into the unknown.

Creation is walking the path of no-thing. Becoming a vessel for the pure transmission.

The Feminine finds herself through creating. Learns who she is through the birthing.

Her desire is her truth.

The only path the divine feminine can trust is her desire, her passion, her heart, her womb.

Above the mind, beyond the conditioning of implanted beliefs and stuck emotional wounds lies the truth deep within her heart-womb.

The pulsing of her pleasure guides her there.

Pleasure that has been vilified because of its potency - its capacity to both create and destroy. The pure chaos and aliveness it births.

My beloved and beautiful sisters, it is time to release the shame that has divided you from your desire.

I hear far too often that you simply “don’t know what you want.”

This is by design. When you divorce a woman from her desire you take away her compass to her truth rendering her useless to herself and very useful to those who seek to claim ownership over her ability to create.

When you teach her from birth, that her role is to give men her pleasure and take none for herself, she will create an inverted world. Giving and giving until she is dried up and eventually discarded, making way for another fallen goddess to have her life-force sucked from her by the machine that never stops consuming.

Women, we are not doing that anymore.

Pleasure is our birthright.
Desire is our connection to our truth.

We will no longer allow ourselves to be hijacked and used to create an inverted world of consumption, addiction, and war.

We are the creators and it is time for us to remember exactly who we are.

This is why I do the work I do…
I bring remembrance.
I bring the keys that unlock the cages.
I hold the codes that clear the viruses.
I speak the words that free you from the spells of the pariarchy that have taken away your desires, claimed your womb, and kept you from expanding into your magical, fully-expressed, creator self.

I am a divine feminine mentor because I lead the way and show the path straight into the void.

I work with mentors who guide me.

I guide mentors who guide others.

Together we are the feminine rising.
Together we lead each other home.
Together we share the secrets and mysteries that were nearly lost. Secrets passed on by the few. Wisdom they tried to burn out of existence but could not because it’s truth lives deep within our wombs.

One piece of wisdom that I pass onto you now is this:

The feminine desires support. She is not here to make this triumphant return on her own. She is here to gather her guides and friends and have a freaking BLAST. To literally blast through the limits of this dying world and create a new world by tuning into her pure pleasure and desire.

This is why I do the work that I do…
I create the opportunity for you to remember your desire to surround yourself with support and gleefully spend money on yourself so that you can claim your sacred desires and in doing so remember who you are.

So If you desire to come and play with me in my magical fairytale land where we go on vision quests, meet your dragons, geek out about consciousness, unlock cages and rediscover what makes you feel alive…

If you desire to be guided back to that path of passion you lost along the way by giving and giving and giving…

If you desire to be held, supported, and cheered on your journey of triumphantly rising because you no longer have to do it alone…

If you desire to claim all the dreams of your soul: the Mythic Love story you still dare to believe in, the life filled with creative purpose and expansion, the pleasure of embodying your authentic truth and living a life of ease and flow…

Join me and cross over to a whole new world where the Goddess finally wakes up and remembers who the F*ck she is and then gets to create the life of her dreams.

I do this work because it is what I was born to do. If these words resonate with you, it may just be what you were born to do too. Together we rise.

DM me to book a discovery call. I have mentorships available at several investment levels. What level are you ready to play at?

Jen Allyson
💋💋💋
3/19/24

This came across my memories for international Women’s day and is most definitely worth a repost:

They called us witches because we didn’t need their authority to access our wisdom and power to create. They burned us because they were scared of our ability to heal ourselves and set our sisters free. They called us witches because in the ashes we discovered our raw power and it threatened their system. They called us witches to divide us from each other and from our truth.

Our wild chaos terrified them so they vilified our emotions and shamed our connection to our deep primal source, the divine feminine volcano between our legs. They used our bodies for their purposes, prosperity, and procreation while preaching chastity and virtue from their pulpits. We were wh**es or virgins, nothing inbetween. Property kept in line through shame and violence.

They wanted us small and in servitude.
So they showed us the tiny boxes where we could receive love, food, money, and support as long as we obeyed. We cut off our bellies and our souls and squeezed into the rigid mold that would become our living prison. They patted us on the head and called us “good girl” for not giving them too much trouble. Self betrayal imprinted itself in our DNA.

Our hearts yearned for more so we created broken children from our broken state. The babies of too many child brides, still babies themselves. We made our sons our masters and created our daughters in our own distorted image. The violent system replicating itself over and over again. We all just wanted to be loved.

They created their god and their material world in their image. Unchallenged, unfettered, and unbalanced. A world of illusion half made. A shallow world of exploitation and excess. Ra**ng, pillaging, and projecting fear at every turn. Powerful Lilith banished, replaced by penitent Eve - eternally punished for her audacity to expand.

The fruits of this imbalance - the suppressed, repressed, and banished feminine - are so common to us we think they are just part of life. Chronic Illness, addiction, mental disorders, depression, anxiety, and lack are not our natural state, they are all pointing us to our cages so we can set ourselves free. Our Goddess souls are screaming at us to wake up and step into our power and we just keep taking more pills and squeezing into smaller boxes and we wonder why all the good girls are so miserable, why all the moms are breaking under the pressure of a system built to own them.

But wildness can only be subdued, never snuffed out completely... wild always finds a way because wild is who we are... Lilith, our true mother, always at our core. The divine feminine is the raw powerful untamed creatrix of all life. Pandora, Sophia, Medusa, Kali, Mary... Terrifyingly beautiful, profound, and wise. Limitless and intrinsically connected to all that is.

She will always rise.

She is not a victim, she chose this origin story. The breaking has begun to wake the sleeping giants and out of the pressure comes the birthing of something far more potent and visceral than we can begin to imagine from our domesticated, detached, and disillusioned state.

From the many millennia of suffering rises the wild woman who has clawed her way back to herself. She has courageously faced the generations of captivity, pain, betrayal, and abandonment and learned how to alchemize it all into raw, fearless, embodied LOVE. She has bravely traveled to hell, eyes wide open, choosing to own and love all that is dark and rejected, discovering in her depths that she is both the cast out Devil and the Goddess herself.

Whole and divine.

She has learned that there is nothing outside of her, and inside there is only love. She has claimed her full expression in unconditional acceptance of all that she is. She is whole and sovereign and no one can ever claim any power over her again.

Not through shame, pain, or threat of death.

She fearlessly carries her banner of freedom, love, and unlimited self expression. She shines like a goddess and sings the song of the heretic, free at last. She paves her paths of empowerment every time she chooses herself, her joy, her pleasure, her creation, her knowing, her worth, her journey. She anchors in the light on those paths for all her sisters and her brothers. She is leading us to a better way. The way of wild sovereign freedom. The way of unconditional self love. The path of divine anger and destruction. The way of balance, grace, and forgiveness. The way of inner knowing and inner union. The way of love.

Jen Allyson
October 2, 2021

How do you go from a neurotic life to a mythical one?

You shift your energetic focus from trying to control every aspect of your world >> to >> playing in the energies of adventure, creative exploration, and embodied pleasure.

How do you make this shift?

1. You have to find the reason that you’re living in constant anxiety.

- for me, I was living entirely in anticipation of the future because I was really busy hiding my true (unacceptable) self and running away from shame and guilt. I believed if I wasn’t perfect then I wouldn’t go to heaven. I also really needed everyone to be comfortable and happy at all times or else I felt like a failure.

2. Then you have to face it - it’s time to heal all the stuff your running away from.

- in other words you gotta feel it to heal it. There’s a reason your mind/body is running a million miles an hour, there’s pain and discomfort that does not want to be discovered. Being a workaholic or any -aholic may have helped you survive, but it’s not going to help you thrive.

3. For healing to be sustainable, you have to learn tools to soothe your nervous system and ground yourself into the present moment.

- when your nervous system is inflamed you’re pumping all sorts of stress chemicals and adrenaline into your blood stream. These chemicals are highly addictive so until you work to heal and learn to stabilize yourself, you’ll end up manifesting more drama into your life. Have you ever created more freedom in your life and then that felt more scary than being overwhelmed, so you started scrolling and impulse shopping to compensate? This is precisely how we end up stuck in loops. Your body needs proper care to move forward.

4. Whatever blocks exist between you and pleasure have got to go! Pleasure brings grounding, connection, joy, and expansion.

- being able to feel your body after living so long in your mind has its benefits. You’re here to experience pleasure and to experience the full spectrum of your body’s capacity to feel. Pure creation that manifests from pleasure changes the world.

5. As you begin to feel stabilized and spacious in your life, reintroduce play, adventuring, imagination, and any type of creative exploration into your life and relationships. Create structures where your mind can be utilized for your highest level of creativity and imagining every single day.

- you have this incredibly powerful mind for a reason. It’s a well of creativity and creation. It’s time to use it for what it’s made for, not to keep you a prisoner.

6. Take action from your enthusiasm. Mythic living is about being ridiculously excited about creating all the things you’ve dreamt up.

- if you’re not excited then you’re not dreaming big enough. Start at #1 again and cycle back though - anchoring greater levels of healing, trust, freedom, and creativity so that you can see your pathway forward with more energetic clarity.

Mentor’s note: Just because you’re on a spiritual path doesn’t mean that you have to create a spiritual business or walk a “deep soul mission” to save humanity. Every time you create from your soul’s truth - whatever you create- you heal humanity.

Your spiritual path is here to guide you to your most authentic self so that you can find out what excites you and make moves from there. Life is here to be lived to the fullest and everything you create begins in the fertile soil of your imagination which means you can choose a Mythic Life and Love at any moment and that life can look any way you imagine it to be.

It’s time to reclaim your mind from anxiety and use it to create the life of your biggest most mythical dreams.

2024 1:1 mentorship spots are now available

Jen Allyson
💋💋💋

It's been 2 long transformational years of deeply intensive, and often excruciating, gridwork transmuting density at the energetic coalface of the plane through my vessel. 3 days ago a new portal opened, the train departed the station at long last and the age of Eden is breathing into form. Let's go team humanity! 🐉🌎💚

We don’t fit in anyone’s boxes. We long ago threw out boxes for each other. We exist in the truth of our expression that flows from day to day like the Pisces we are. Feminine, masculine; fire, water; day, night. We exist in the delight of watching each other shine.

This freedom of self didn’t come easily. We had to let go - piece by piece - of anything that didn’t fit us. We had to run head on into our fear in order to become embodied in our truth.

The gift we gave each other and ourselves on this path was unconditional love. Within the energy of true love, our own truth flowered. Where judgment makes us wither, love - free from conditions - makes us blossom. Our expression was given the fertile soil of love.

For so much of my life I was terrified to live my true expression. Only the parts and desires that were judged as good, worthy, or valuable were given sunlight. The rest of me was relegated to the shadows. Rejected and shamed. Judgment was the force that kept me bound to my small self. The voices of fear passed on through generations in the name of self preservation. Survival required fitting into a box.

Now, there are no more boxes. I AM free.

I was healed through the power of unconditional love and this is the vibration that I hold to heal those who are ready to run head on into their fear. I will hold you in love so that you can blossom into your highest flowing expression. I will shine my powerful projector light in the darkest of your shadows so that you too can receive and love all that you are in truth. Free from all boxes.

This is my gift and my purpose - to facilitate the revolution of dark into light, judgment into love, limits into the unlimited. The alchemical power of love that will transform the world.

Jen Allyson
💋💋💋
10/26/2021

💫💫💫

*Sharing my Truth Day 24*

When Kate moved in with me I was holding into a massive amount of unresolved s*xual trauma.

I didn’t realize that I was traumatized at all.

I think so much of the healing journey is just coming into honesty with yourself about the ways you’ve been harmed and the ways you’ve harmed yourself.

I didn’t yet understand just how deep my s*xual repression and suppression went. It’s hard to fathom something that you can’t even look at and don’t have words for.

I had a lot of internalized homophobia, internalized misogyny, body dysmorphia, and all around rejection of my body and my s*xuality.

I didn’t know how to claim pleasure. I had lived in a paradigm where pleasure wasn’t mine, but rather something I gave to others or existed next to in a performative way. I could easily hide behind the pleasure I gave my partner. It’s incredible how much you can hide in s*x. It’s supposed to be the most intimate act, but I didn’t know anything about intimacy until I began to heal.

I had always been separated from my pu$$y. I believed it to be fundamentally disgusting. Dirty, smelly, ugly etc. These were the messages I had internalized on a foundational level. The primary abandonment of my s*xuality had showed up in every area of my life. I viewed my body as unworthy so I viewed myself as unworthy and because of that I was willing to give away pieces of myself in exchange for what I thought was love.

The first time I went down on my wife I had to literally face the parts of my body that I had rejected. This act of love changed my life. For the first time I could see how beautiful, magnificent, and majestic I was. It was like opening the door into a whole new world where everything about me was finally right instead of being fundamentally wrong.

The healing journey was still incredibly multifaceted. I was holding trauma in my body, my cells, my chemistry, and my subconscious mind. Over many months and years, we worked to recognize, name, and release the trauma. Learning new tools and modalities as well as handcrafting some of our own. We utilized plant medicine and psychedelics as well.

Using M**A with my loving partner cleared away massive amounts of trauma. In an instant I was overcome with immense unconditional love. For the first time ever I felt safe to inhabit my body and to give and receive pleasure. With just one use we were able to anchor in a new level of love and safety that has remained with us nearly 5 years later.

As intense as the path of healing is, it’s also been such a beautiful experience that has brought us together. Our dedication to love has pointed the way to every space where we were holding ourselves separate. Brick by brick we’ve built a relationship of utmost transparency, unrivaled intimacy, and profound passion.

Jen Allyson
💋💋💋
9/18/2022

Above all else I believe in love's ability to transform.

I believe that when you find the person you are meant to be with, it changes you in visceral way.

You don't have to be the perfect partner from the outset. The right relationship will transform you completely.

Your highest potential is buried within you - to be made manifest through the relationship with your mate.

Jen and I weren't always in the relationship we are living now. There are years of mutation and growth between the start and this glorious present.

We were in what is called "separation" in the twin flame community, for the most challenging 9 months of my life. This phase looks different for everyone, for us it was more emotional and mental than physical or verbal but no less heart-wrenching.

We talked for hours nearly every day - leaving aside the darkest ones, and traveled the 1,555.5 miles to see each other monthly. I was desperately trying to figure out how to close the metaphorical distance between us and Jen was trying to decide whether she even wanted that to happen.

This time of uncertainty and strife was the largest and most extreme growth period of my personal development. Rapid and radical transformation was an absolute and critical necessity. Not only to win her back but to earn the right to claim her wholly, the pulse of my heart.

That is what love can do. I devoted my life to becoming more of the partner she needed. I made a vow that I would never again allow my integrity to waver, to always love her more and better than I loved anyone or anything else, including myself.

I wish I was embodied in this when we met but these qualities weren't present in me until the truth of her birthed my reality.

The proximity of my mate breathed life into me and woke the sleeping phoenix. Ignited me. Who I had been burst into flames and I was born anew.

It is possible to attract a love like this.

You deserve to have someone feel this way about you. A person who desires to move heaven and earth to be with you. Someone who willingly sacrifices their ego on the altar of love and chooses to commit their life to the highest principal in the universe.

The right person will rise to become a higher vibrational version of themselves in response to your presence.

You can choose to accept nothing less than heart-led expansion. If your partner isn’t evolving with you and furthering their state of becoming - are they really the right one?