05/06/2025
Dear Herd Member,
This past weekend I was charged by a horse. (Several times.)
I stood my ground each time.
Eventually, he joined me calmly—not out of defeat, but through a shared, respectful connection. I didn't responded with aggression, and I didn't retreat or fold in the face of his threats. I simply stayed—with me, with him. The resulting relationship was beautiful.
Recently, a client opted out of therapy after accessing a childhood memory of betrayal by someone they trusted. They chose to stop coming because they weren't ready to explore that vulnerable territory with me, someone who wouldn't betray them this time. They bolted out of self-preservation, and perhaps empowerment. This time they were an adult who could choose to leave when they couldn't before.
Generally, I’m someone who tends to stay. Call it loyalty, call it stubbornness. I take leaving seriously. I’d rather face the discomfort, the hard truths, and work through them than walk away.
And yet not all departures are signs of failure. Some are acts of self-preservation or growth. When someone leaves, it’s not always about a lack of love or commitment; sometimes it’s about safety, boundaries or emotional capacity. Leaving can be an empowered choice, one that honors self-worth and inner truth, even it is painful.
If you choose, here are some questions to consider regarding how we show up in relationship:
• Do you freeze, fight or flee when things get uncomfortable?
• Do you stay too long, to your own detriment?
• Do you have any insight into why you respond the way you do?
• When, where, how and with whom do you receive support, perspective, etc.? (Including Nature, animals, spiritual resources, a trainer or mentor.)
• Is this something you've even considered is an option? Or were you taught a model of domination-submission (e.g. you grew up in a polarized household, or a trainer taught you a particular approach) or secrecy (e.g. fake it until you make it, don't acknowledge the pain or challenges)?
If this conversation interests you, please reach out and share more with me. I'd love to hear your experience.
Contact Lynn: [email protected]
** THERE ARE ALSO TWO WAYS TO EXPLORE DIRECTLY **
Horse Communication Demo Class: A Two Way Street
Saturday, May 10th | 10 AM–12:30 PM MST
The Trinity Ranch, Eldorado / Lamy, NM
$75 (No horse experience needed.)
Individual Counseling / Coaching Sessions
Evening and weekend appointments available.
Available via phone, Zoom, or in-person
at my Santa Fe office. Sliding scale.
Whether you are with a horse or with another human, what's your style, e.g. are you more of a talker or listener? Do you try to force, prove or defend your p...
