Dr. Nevin Hussion

I know this to be so true.. the kindest people are not born, they’re made. They’re the ones who turn their messes into a message. They choose to soften where circumstance has tried to harden them and have seen firsthand why tenderness is so important in this world.

"Grief is really just love.
It's all the love you want to give,
but cannot.
Grief is just love
with no place
to go."

Words by Jamie Anderson

Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh said that when we do not take care of our grief, when we do not call it by its true name, it leaves us as anger and does more harm to others, perpetuating our pain externally.

By practicing mindfulness anger, sadness and regrets can all be doorways to peace and beauty, not only for ourselves, but for the people around us, the people of our past and also for those who will come after us.

Artwork:

How would the quality of your life shift if your only goal this year was to love yourself fully?

Ways to love yourself (I’ll personally be focusing on the last one):

-Self-Compassion. When you have a feeling or emotion, be with yourself without judgment. Compassion is the ability to be with oneself or another in suffering.

-Doing what makes you happy. Prioritizing yourself. Solo walks, getting your nails done, doing the things that make you feel good about yourself.

-Get excited about your future. Start looking towards the things you cant wait for, the things that make you look forward with joy. Having a vision that makes you smile helps to fill your cup.

-Romanticize the small moments. Literally every moment can be filled with a sense of peace. That sip of coffee, holding your husbands hand, even working can be joyful if you decide to enjoy it. Xx

We all have the power to change our lives. If you don’t come from a healthy family, then make sure that a healthy family comes from you. Xx

Self-awareness and self-regulation are key to becoming an emotionally mature person.

It’s not easy… honestly in the midst of a trigger, all you’re going to want to do is behave the same old way you’re used to.

But if you can take a different seat… shift from being the reactor, to being the observer of what you’re feeling and experiencing in those moments, you can grow.

I’ve committed my life’s work to understanding body patterns, emotional patterns, and relationship patterns and I know that if you WANT to grow, you absolutely can. The shifts happen when you start doing differently.

Let me know if this resonates xo

Every time you choose to “do differently”, you’re rewiring your brain. 🤯🧘‍♀️

And done over time, this determines your quality of life.

Changed action, self-control, doing it differently, and consistently creates new patterns in the brain… and don’t worry, it gets easier with time because those patterns grow deeper and stronger with repetition.

For example… if your tendency is to shut down in conflict and you know staying present in the conversation would be better… flex that muscle. And next time, staying present will be that much easier.

If you’ve worked with me, you’ve heard this before: “It’s like building new highways over old dusty roads!”

A few reflection questions:
What about the situation was triggering to you?
How did you respond?
What could you have done differently to help it go better?
What did you learn?

Change is possible, it just take a lot of self-awareness, self-reflection, and intentionally doing this differently in your life. Xo

Loving days off with this guy 😍
How high do you think your emotional intelligence is?

I used to think that emotional intelligence is high if when you’re watching a movie, you cry when someone else is crying. That’s empathizing at it’s finest, right? That must mean emotional intelligence! Wrong.

Emotional intelligence is your capacity to be aware of, control, and express your emotions, and to handle your interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.

Your relationship can bring up all kinds of emotions… fear, annoyance, anger, rage, hopelessness, sadness, disappointment… how do you handle your emotions with your partner? Do you lash out? Do you hide? Do you shut down?

The reason why emotional intelligence is important is this: your relationship becomes way more meaningful and joyous when you know how to handle yourself. When you can keep yourself in check, become a strong communicator, empathize when they’re hurting, show up in a way that is helpful not hurtful, not only will your own confidence grow but the culture of your marriage begins to shift.

Here’s to growing in self-awareness. Much love xo

Healing.
Did you know you can actually be a catalyst of healing for your partner?

A lot of the time, people tend to choose a partner that is similar to their parent, in an effort to complete their childhood and finally receive what they didn’t get. “Partner, can you please meet my emotional needs that were not totally met in my childhood? Can you please help me feel loved, seen, respected, significant?” This is an unconscious process… Creating a safe space for them, in this way, can be healing for their nervous system.

But the problem is, some people don’t know how to show up for their partner. Some people feel suffocated by their partner’s demands, or totally clueless as to why eye contact is so important.

This is why learning tools is so necessary. It allows you to be more available and in tune with what your partner needs, without taking it personally and without doing it on your own. You have structures to fall back on and use when things start to get squirrelly and emotions start running high. Just because you don’t know the tools now doesn’t mean you can’t learn! Much love XO.

If you’ve been together for a long time… sometimes one partner can get stuck on the idea that they work so hard, and so of course their partner should know they’re loved. Or they pay the bills, so of course their partner should know they’re taken care of. Everything they do is for the family. Although this is great…. It’s lacking one HUGE component. Emotional connection.

Emotional intimacy is the foundation for all other aspects of the relationship, and without it, all that hard work and taking care of the finances will fall by the wayside because your partner will not feel seen, loved or cherished. No amount of hard work will replace what a kiss on the cheek or a genuine “tell me the best part of your day?” does for your marriage. Let me know if this resonates? Much love xo