Marcy Holder Coaching

What if you stop looking for answers and start looking for possibilities?

What if everything you’ve walked through happened for you not to you?

What if God means it when he says he can take the thing meant to harm you and turn it into good?

What if God doesn’t expect you to have the path mapped out because he wants to surprise you with his goodness.

What if you dared to sit in the middle of every unanswered question with the eagerness of a child on Christmas morning.

What if he really IS that good?

Less wondering,
More wonder.

Less restlessness,
More rest.

Less white knuckles,
More wide open palms.

Reject anxiety and speak the promise before you see it and a peace that defies all logic and evidence will stand guard over your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
Phillipians 4:16 (The Marcy Version)

I might not know what you’ve lost,
but I know what it’s cost you.

Grief will take you where you’ve never been.

It will teach you what you never wanted to learn.

And it pays no mind to the calendar.

You’re not alone friend.

You’ll make it through this week.
….next week too.

Though it might not seem like it now, someday (soon I hope) you’ll feel like yourself again for a minute.

Then for an hour.

And someday, a whole day.

It’s ok if today isn’t that day.

Let today be what it is.

Grief is hard.
Fighting grief is harder.

Praying you can lay down the fight today, just for a moment. ♥️

People in the online space are more obnoxious than ever.

People in the grocery store are angrier than ever.

Case in point: the 70-something woman raining her best Mommy Dearest over the head cashier in Kroger earlier this week.

But the indignant, bitter women on social media - yikes!

I’ve been there and from my experience I think it’s a 40’s situation.

I’m trying not to pass judgment because I remember what it’s like to find my voice, push back, and say ‘Nope, not today.’

But I also think the condescention shreds our kids into either angry adults who dare folks to cross them. Or anxious adults who shut down and can’t function.

Heading into the backside of my 50’s I’m more grateful every day for the grace to settle in and surrender to my small part in the story of life.

In my 40’s it was important for me to lean in and learn what my anger was telling me about myself.

But I’m humbled God met me at each stage and taught me how to receive the grace I didn’t know how to give.

It might not sound like it in the more vulnerable posts I share (see yesterday’s Substack post), but I’m so glad for the lessons I’ve learned from each broken dream.

If I hadn’t been humbled to the point of breaking, I would be just like the angry woman in the grocery or the condescending Influencer/author I just read.

I still see inconsistencies everywhere but I don’t want to shout about them anymore.

I want to counter the mess by allowing the peace and healing God has given me to spill out on people.

I want to give forgiveness and understanding to the degree I’ve received it.

I want to chase contentment more than I chase accomplishment.

And I want to remind every angry forty-something female activist on the internet that there is nothing new under the sun and this too shall pass.

Bless-it-all-in-Jesus-name-and-AMEN!

Sometimes life comes for you.

The future looks blurry.
Your prayers seem unanswered.

And everything you thought you knew about how to keep going when the going gets tough,
just suddenly stops working.

When life comes for you,
you have a decision to make.

Trust yourself?
Or trust God.

Full post on Substack.

I’ve always been passionate about political ideas because they matter.

I put my trust in Jesus but also felt grounded in the hope of solid, sustainable policy.

For a long time,
I believed,
then hoped,
then prayed there were men
and women in government who
could, and would, turn this thing around.

Bless my heart.

The last several years I’ve thought twice before I like or share, and a million before I post anything political.

20 year old me would be ashamed of my hesitancy. I have passionate thoughts and ideas about how broken our country is and the hard decisions that need to be made to fuel change.

The answer simply can’t be for everyone to “do what seem(s) right in their own eyes,” as Judges 21:25 says.

But I don’t have thick skin.
Or answers for questions I fear I’ll face.

And as much as I’d like to think I could hold my own in a good-faith exchange of ideas, I know I can’t.

My gift is identifying patterns in how circumstances play out, not hard-core debate with the intention to persuade.

Plus I’ve also come to terms with the fact that given the current social climate as well as the influence money wields, peace isn’t possible.

Turns out I bought into the fallacy that God’s peace, would apply on the global stage instead of to those with a personal relationship with Jesus.

I seem to have a hard time believing God means what he says about families being divided and wars and rumors of wars.

Yet here we are.
And I can’t keep quiet
for one more minute.

Not because I have the answers.
I don’t.

But Jesus does.

In the end, one thing remains. Redemption from sin
through Jesus Christ alone.

Jesus is the answer for your pain.
Jesus conquers confusion.
Jesus cuts through chaos.
Jesus creates clarity.

Love him or hate him,
Charlie Kirk knew this
and wanted everyone
he met to know it too.

I’m a middle-aged woman with more “church baggage” than you can imagine. It makes me hesitant to speak because we ALL get it wrong.

But the division coming from inside the house is keeping the church from being about our Father’s business.

Let Charlie’s death be the wake-up call we need. It’s all about Jesus.

For the freshman moms, the seasoned moms, the recently in-lawed, and the now-they’re-out-of-state-for-gooders.

It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve moved them out, in, over, and back again, nothing prepares you for any of it.

Nothing.

Not the books you read, the prayers you’ve prayed, the stories you’ve heard, or the last time you drove away.

But there are two things you can count on.

🤍 Every experience with every child will be different every time.

🤍 You can’t prepare yourself ahead of time, no matter how hard you try.

I’ve left with hardly a
good-bye from the child whose deep fear translated to anger.

I’ve driven away from the freshman who masked anxiety with indifference.

I’ve glanced in the rear-view through tears knowing it would all go down in a fiery blaze.

I’ve shifted into drive, my stomach hitting the floorboard, as I heard God whisper, “this child is exactly where they need to be to need me.”

And more times than I can count, I’ve cranked up a solid playlist and praised all the way home.

Here’s more truth about your emptying nest.

💗 You have to feel what you feel when you feel it or your body will turn on you.

💗 Unexpressed grief will turn into irritability, anger, and eventually depression.

💗 No matter how clearly you see them, you can’t protect your child from their blind spots.

💗 You can’t plan ahead for hard emotions. You can only learn to breathe through their 90 second life-spans and be as gentle with yourself as you would a good friend.

💗 Your own next steps may not be clear yet. But there’s a new future ahead for you too and God says it’s GOOD!

No matter how you feel as you drive away, give yourself loads of grace for as long as you need.

You’re not dramatic or needy.
You’re not too emotional.
And you’re definitely not a slacker…(she says as she writes from the bed).

You’ve just moved part of your soul to a whole new place and learning to live without your everyday people is a big deal.

God will be faithful to give you the energy you need when you need it.

But it’s your job to make space for your soul to catch up with your body.

💛 Be kind to yourself today.

💛 Hydrate, grab some protein, and walk or sleep… preferably both.

💛 Rest in the confidence that in every transition, God wants to bless you with his kindness and tenderness if you’ll let him.

You’ve done an amazing job raising this kid.

You’re not done momming by a long shot.

But today, you rest. 💗

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (AMP)
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens